Hello again, Artemis28!
This is Moonwatcher here yet again with another Review Day review! ^-^
I’ve been here for years, watching the world
Go by.
Okay so I see that you repeat this throughout the poem. Personally, I feel as if the repetition isn't really necessary. It's strong in the beginning, but it grows weaker as you repeat it. You have two descriptive adjectives above this line, all of them varying. Perhaps you can do the same with this line, and come up with something different rather than repeating yourself instead of giving the reader information they've already been told.
This poem lacks stanzas, which I think if added, could improve the flow of your poem and let the reader catch their breath a little more. I suggest adding a new stanza after each "I've been here for years, watching the world, go by." line.
I feel as if the last 1/3 of the poem was a little bit weaker than the rest of it. I suggest adding some stronger imagery, and more powerful emotions/words, as the ending isn't nearly as strong in my opinion.
That's all I have to say about this poem. I hope this review helped! Have a great day and keep on writing! ^-^
Points: 11345
Reviews: 117
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