when michelangelo sculpted david, he carved correctness.
not a vein out of place, a loose curl on a stony head.
it seems our greatest fear
is not taking ourselves seriously. there are those who hate
modern art for what it is--imperfection captured on canvases,
portraits of humanity too large to fit in tight boxes--
but art has always been for truth, and tidy realism
is a lie. it seems our greatest flaw
is wanting to be better than we are, to look in a mirror
and always love what you see.
when michelangelo painted the sistine chapel,
he made almost perfection.
hundreds of years later we will herald him as a master
and still point out his flaws. maybe if one day
david crumbles and the sistine chapel falls,
we will not remember stony perfection
but two hands, almost touching,
gloriously never enough.
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,754 Reviews
Really great.
Rarely do people(I would even say myself) have that artistic flair.
Im not the type to worry about punctuation and grammar mainly for pieces like these that are better without them, besides poems rarely have them and when they do it takes away from the natural flow of things.
No real critiques again, sorry if thats what you were looking for.
Your work is very powerful and thought provoking. You have a true talent for sure.
Anyways, keep writing🤓
thanks so much again!
Hello!
I really like this piece. It got the message across well even without a lot of punctuation or capitalization. Actually, the lack of them made it more powerful.
I love how you talk about Michelangelo, because he’s so well known, even though I couldn’t tell if you were implying his works were perfect or imperfect. That might have been just me, though.
Also, the line, ‘if someday David crumbles and the Sistine Chapel falls’, was really powerful to me. I don’t know why that’s relevant, but I mean, now you know.
I would only change the last line. I think if you took out the period at the end and kind of left it hanging into nothing, it might be a little bit better, at least to me. That’s up to you, though.
I hope this helps!
-Rana Noodles
thanks for the review!
Hey!
I love the message in this! I think the lack of punctuation and grammar goes well with this message of being almost enough but not perfect, so I can't tell if it was on purpose or not. I don't have much to say; I just wanted to praise you for your metaphor in writing about perfectionism, which we all crave to reach.
Rascalover <3