The whole idea of making us guess what sin you are talking about is really really interesting. I still just can’t see what does the title stand for. There’s one imagery I remember, the one of the shattered glass. The world shattered us well chosen, it has more impact on us than “broken”. I think you really developed and maintained the sense of mystery at the beginning, the way you describe is wonderfully fresh; but the end just seems rushed and exploited. You repeat the fact you have been hated but fought for- and that you just don’t care; you repeat you’re the one who chooses; and then the narration passes from the sin to a sort of melodramatic narrator.
“All that matters is what you see in yourself,” that not.. I mean; that’s not what that SIN would say. I thought the whole idea of that SIN was that he came to those he deemed worthy enough. He’s not just like “oh you believe in yourself, good,” no I thought that SIN did not make you believe, but love yourself. That end could fall apart, but the message in those words kind of manages to keep it steady.
Now for what it is..
You never really say if it’s the modern sins or the sins of Dante’s Hell.
Dante’s Hell is aout the nine circles, a.k.a the nine sins starting from okay to worst; and it is a sort of hell/purgatory
Then there’s the modern Hell, with only seven circles. Not even sure they call them circles; but they still represent sins. That’s because the nine sins have been rounded to the seven deadliest one’s; even though I still feel the sin “treason” from Dante’s Hell surpasses the “gluttony” of the dEaDlIeSt sins.
So I’ve got to pick between these:
1.limbo
2.lust
3.gluttony
4.avarice and prodigality
5.wrath and sullenness
6.heresy
7.violence
8.fraud
9.treachery
1.gluttony
2.pride
3.wrath
4.envy
5.lust
6.greed
7.sloth
Since you probably chose one from the seven deadliest sins, here is my answer:
Definitely not gluttony, you never mention anything about taking too much or becoming overweight or anything
Sloth, well, no one would fight for that because they’d rather sleep
Wrath could be the answer, but wrath is not something you fight for because fighting is wrath
Rounding it down, we come to pride and envy and lust. It could be envy, because you fight for something you want, but that sin isn’t about believing or living yourself. So I’d take out envy. Lust is closely linked to envy, because.. they’re real close to each other. And that sin described in your poem don’t seem to think what he’s doing is wrong.
But the first part of your poem could be about lust.. but the whole “blessing who I deem right” makes me hesitate. Lust is in each one of us. Finally, I’d go for pride.
For the nine circles of Dante’s Hell, I strongly believe that it is either avarice or lust.
).
Points: 0
Reviews: 109
Donate