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by erilea

some think me a blessing.

they admire me, always wanting me in their grasp. they are insatiable in their insecurity.

they want me to feel whole again.

i have watched blood be spilt because they did not have me.

i have seen mirrors shatter to pieces because i was not there.

i have seen people turn on one another in my name.

some call me a curse.

they slander me, calling me a sin, saying that everything i touch falls to ruin.

but i have no mercy, no sense of wrong or right. i bless who i deem worthy.

i bless those who do not take me for granted, who appreciate everywhere i hurt them before.

i bless those who have scars on their body they do not wish to hide.

i bless those who know how far they have to fall.

so what you think me, curse, blessing, it does not matter.

all that matters is what you see in yourself.

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109 Reviews

Points: 11267
Reviews: 109

Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:31 am
silvermoon17 wrote a review...

The whole idea of making us guess what sin you are talking about is really really interesting. I still just can’t see what does the title stand for. There’s one imagery I remember, the one of the shattered glass. The world shattered us well chosen, it has more impact on us than “broken”. I think you really developed and maintained the sense of mystery at the beginning, the way you describe is wonderfully fresh; but the end just seems rushed and exploited. You repeat the fact you have been hated but fought for- and that you just don’t care; you repeat you’re the one who chooses; and then the narration passes from the sin to a sort of melodramatic narrator.
“All that matters is what you see in yourself,” that not.. I mean; that’s not what that SIN would say. I thought the whole idea of that SIN was that he came to those he deemed worthy enough. He’s not just like “oh you believe in yourself, good,” no I thought that SIN did not make you believe, but love yourself. That end could fall apart, but the message in those words kind of manages to keep it steady.
Now for what it is..
You never really say if it’s the modern sins or the sins of Dante’s Hell.
Dante’s Hell is aout the nine circles, a.k.a the nine sins starting from okay to worst; and it is a sort of hell/purgatory
Then there’s the modern Hell, with only seven circles. Not even sure they call them circles; but they still represent sins. That’s because the nine sins have been rounded to the seven deadliest one’s; even though I still feel the sin “treason” from Dante’s Hell surpasses the “gluttony” of the dEaDlIeSt sins.
So I’ve got to pick between these:
4.avarice and prodigality
5.wrath and sullenness


Since you probably chose one from the seven deadliest sins, here is my answer:
Definitely not gluttony, you never mention anything about taking too much or becoming overweight or anything
Sloth, well, no one would fight for that because they’d rather sleep
Wrath could be the answer, but wrath is not something you fight for because fighting is wrath
Rounding it down, we come to pride and envy and lust. It could be envy, because you fight for something you want, but that sin isn’t about believing or living yourself. So I’d take out envy. Lust is closely linked to envy, because.. they’re real close to each other. And that sin described in your poem don’t seem to think what he’s doing is wrong.
But the first part of your poem could be about lust.. but the whole “blessing who I deem right” makes me hesitate. Lust is in each one of us. Finally, I’d go for pride.
For the nine circles of Dante’s Hell, I strongly believe that it is either avarice or lust.

erilea says...

Hey, silvermoon17! Thanks for the review.
I do want to start out by clarifying that I was writing about pride. Sorry if I didn't make that clear (I was trying ;) ).
This poem was meant to explore two sides of pride--as a sin but also as something that could benefit a person, of course to a certain a degree. The second half of the poem was more about a person being confident and accepting themselves for who they are, scars and all. The message is that those who are proud to the point that they love themselves but not to the point that they're arrogant are "worthy".
Thanks again!

silvermoon17 says...

"Finally, I%u2019d go for pride."
Yay i guessed it right!
At least you realized pride is two sided, nice to explain it tho

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562 Reviews

Points: 14335
Reviews: 562

Sat Jul 20, 2019 5:49 pm
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, flamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely night, and to help get your work out the green room!

Okay let's begin.
So I couldn't see anything wrong with this poem, I thought everything was written to perfection. This is way better then the poems I write. I thought the emotions were really deep, and they travailed through the words to the reader so well, this made me feel sad mad, all the emotions you had put in here.
I also thought your name was a really good choice, it was the thing that made me come and read your work after all, and I'm really glad I did.
You are a really skilled poet, and I think one day you should get some of your work published. Because I think many other people would love to read this just as much as I am.

Over all this blew me away, and I will be keeping an eye out for more of your works, because you have me hooked on your writing and I can't wait for the next one. I'm glad I got to me one of the luck people to read and review this work. Keep writing and posting and have a great day or night.

your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

erilea says...

Thank you so much for your praise! It means a lot. :D

No problem!

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20 Reviews

Points: 38
Reviews: 20

Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:24 am
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Bhaavya Singh wrote a review...

Hello erilea! You have written a touching poem with very deep and intense meaning. Every sentence reflects enormous feelings. It gives out a very powerful and strong message "all that matters is what you see in yourself", which I appreciate the most. The selection of words and phrases is perfect. The terms used are eloquent and impactful. The poem is very inspiring. Keep on such good work.

erilea says...

Thank you for your praise! :)

"He looks like a turtle who's been through the Vietnam war."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi