Young Writers Society

Heya, Artemis28! This is Casanova here for a review!

Anyway, the first thing I'd like to say is that I liked the subject of this poem!

Now, the first thing I noticed that I didn't like was the repetition of,"Unmovable." Now, repetition can sometimes be a good thing- but you're pounding it into our heads that this thing is made of rock and isn't going anywhere through imagery and things. So, we get it. The repetition, at least to me, is getting sort of dull. It narrows the point, and makes it boring so-to-speak. You could do without the last two, having one in there doesn't hurt it too bad.

The next thing I noticed was if you're going to keep repetition- try to make it consistent. In the first three repeating parts of,"We are the four presidents:" you use,"Unmovable." But not in the fourth one. Why the change?

In my opinion you could get rid of the repeating parts and have something still good, you know. An example of this would be-

We are the four presidents:

Carved into stone,

Unmovable,

Intricate faces staring at nothing,

Stationary grey eyes forever fixed on the sky.


Standing strong against nature,


Holding firm against weathering

Fighting erosion with the mountain that is our home.


Thinking thoughts unknown to anyone else,


With opinions hard as rock and decisions that would need earthquakes

To change them.


Forever staring out into America,

Carved into the country we once ruled.

Hello there, Artemis28!

This is Moonwatcher here for a Review Day review!

As I was reading the title the first thing that came to mind was this;

We are the four presidents:

Forever staring out into America,

Carved into the country we once ruled.

This is very moving