Every person has good and bad parts.
Some have more good,
but some have more bad.
The ones that have more bad
are missing the good
and the good parts are taken from the heart
to be put in the mind
where they're locked in a drawer
and the keys are tossed away.
The people never really try to look for the key,
and instead they just deal with what they have
until everything right turns wrong.
Sometimes I hope that they'll try to find the key again
and unlock the drawer.
I hope that they can put the good parts back where they belong
and put it back right.
I hope they'll change.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
I could totally relate with the poem. How come people only look at the way a person appears to them on the outside? How come they are contented with the things that they know and never tries to decipher the other side/the other story of a person? How come some only appreciates the pleasant sides and never accepts the flaws that everyone has? how come they change? I love it. It's short, but it talks in a quiet way that can make people think "How come I..?"
Wow here for another review(again),
This was interesting. I see you had a beautiful message behind this figurative poem.
I like the title, it suits the poem naturally. I see you've written a pretty good amount of poems already. Must have taken you hours of thoughtful thinking and constructing the piece of art you intending to give. I liked this one very much as the other one about 'Empousa'.
But this one is very interesting. It has some hidden messages that can only be seen if read clearly with an open mind.
The message (it think) is pretty much simple but written in a complex way of understanding.
It is about most people these days that live life with a 'I do not care about the world' attitude and 'fuck everyone' attitude. They know good from bad perfectly but they want to follow the path were everyone is following. They all want to bee different but different in a bad way. Where people will notice them, notice their wild side but all is not well. Because when they do get into issues and problems, it gets pretty nasty and they tend to fall pretty hard. That is when they realise and notice how 'fuckedup' their life is. That s when a turning point n life occurs.
Cheers!
Hey there Artemis!
I haven't reviewed or written poetry in awhile, so I might be a bit rusty. Please excuse any mistakes, and feel free to disregard any suggestions!
Firstly, I like the concept of a locked drawer; it's always nice to think that otherwise poorly-behaving people have all the good things, they just need to try a bit.
The structure of your poem is pretty good, but in some places it feels like an excerpt from a story instead of a fluid poem. The only suggestion I can give for this is maybe to abandon the usual proper sentence structure in some places? Like instead of connecting two lines with a proper sentence, you might consider breaking it up into two separate-but-together lines. Maybe not 'proper' on their own if they were in a story, but more flexible for a poem, if that makes sense. It's completely up to you, as always, of course
I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling errors, so you don't have to deal with a grammar nazi or anything.
Overall, it looks really nice! I love how much you write poetry, and how you continue to come up with new and unique ideas. I don't think I've reviewed yet, but I do find myself reading a poem and glancing over to see your username quite a bit, so keep at it! I really enjoy your work
Happy writing!!
Thanks!