People say the real world
is better than
fantasy.
But if you do someday encounter
the thought of real life and fantasy,
here's what you'll get.
In the real world,
people die early or get terrible diseases at a
young age.
In fantasy,
there's always a "happily ever after".
In the real world,
you actually have to do things
yourself.
In fantasy,
you have servants, fairies, Wizards, and godmothers
to do things for you.
In the real world,
love is undecided and can make
or break
a person's life.
In fantasy,
love can be happy all the time.
In the real world,
life can be the best
or the worst time
ever.
In fantasy,
life can't get to you
and you don't have to believe
to make your dreams come true.
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that poem could be related to people since sometimes when we have those moments in life where we thought we have dreamt about sometimes come true and we think to ourselves that "is this real or is it a fantasy" or something. Also I think that poem has an amazing tone of self-imagination or something, which is why many people could relate to what you have wrote for us today.
Whenever, i get a poem to read or a chance to read a poem, i try to look for the mistakes that could be helpful to the writer or poet for their short story or their poem. Yet however, in some cases where people have made mistakes, i have helped them with simple advice and (well) known knowledge as to how I could have helped them with their poems or short stories. However, this poem that I have in front of me, has nothing wrong with it (assuming from the reviews below here, you have fixed them since you are an amazing poet.)
(Sorry for rambling)
Overall, i think poem is amazing since people could relate to what you have wrote on this wonderful screen, on this wonderful site and mostly what the message could be seen in here; real life is as scary as fantasy or something like that.
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
I found this poem quite enchanting. It explains the reality of the world and shows it in comparison to the wonders of a fantasy world. I normally don't like poems that do not have rhyming words in them, but this one really caught my attention.
My favorite part is the very last four lines.
In fantasy,
life can't get to you
and you don't have to believe
to make your dreams come true.
Really enjoyed it!
~BookWolf
Thank you!
Whoa, whoa, what? It's over already? I thought there was more to this! xD That was a deep poem.
Hmm, I wouldn't really say that your title actually fit your poetry. This was more of a comparison between fantasy and reality than 'realistic fantasy', if you could understand.
On the other hand, the opening wasn't very powerful, or attention-drawing. It was actually pretty plain, straight-forward and general. No eye-catchy phrases or similes, so that is quite flaw since it's the beginning of a poetry.
However, I think you've made up for all that with the rest. The comparisons were well thought out, and were elaborated in just a few lines. Besides, I think the flow of the poetry was really good in this one; the words were connected, and everything conveyed a message of perfect sense to the reader.
My favourite line would be:
"In the real world,
love is undecided and can make
or break
a person's life. "
I appreciate how "or break" is an individual line. It give more emphasis on those two words.
Overall, this was great work. Keep it up, your poems are wonderful to read. Don't be afraid to ask me if you need another work reviewed-- I love reading!
~Brunnera
Thank you so much!
Hey,
! But other than that, I really liked it! Good luck on your next piece!
I thought this was a very interesting, and true poem. I liked how you were kind of listing things, but you made it into something else. That's really cool! But I think that you should make each line more connected so that it flows a little better. (maybe use more punctuation)
"In the real world,
life can be the best,
or the worst time ever."
or
"In the real world,
life can be the best, or the worst time,
ever."
These are just my thoughts, but yo should do what sounds right to you
Keep writing,
-kitty4111
Thank you so much for reviewing!
Hi there, just a quick review to show how much I love this poem.
A catchy title. And the point is somewhat cliché but succeeded in the end. I was fascinated. Ever feel like 'Oh, if only that fantasy world is mine?'. It haunts me every time I watch fantasy stories.
What is a little cliche is your perspective on the world of fantasy. It was already long known. But in the first part of the poem, you start with the opposite. Say otherwise with those who prefer reality over fantasy. It is a good idea.
But the definition of the fantasy itself is confined here. Whereas fantasy can be anything. Not all end up like what you would expect when watching fantasy stories. In your poem, I think you are referring to the fantasy film/ stories*. Or instead if you want to expand the meaning of fantasy, you can write like this;
In your fantasies,
you can hope to have servants, fairies, Wizards, and godmothers...
The last four lines, I was impressed. Some of them, I agree, but in the end, I feel like a bit disappointed with it.
There is a contradiction here, but it is your opinion about it and I have no power to change it. Nice poem! Keep it up
First of all I enjoy the enthusiasm for your idea and the pride you seem to feel for your writing, don't give up on this it is invaluable to your future in literacy. Regarding your poem, the first thing to jump at me is grammar and organization. This is critical to consider because at first it took me a few reads to understand what was going on. Work on organizing your thoughts and using colones and commas to your advantage, it will make your ideas more concise and readable. It was honestly a little hard to read but I did get your message and I like the way you go back and forth from fantasy to reality. I like the concept but the first two sentences are confusing and I feel like you could have cleared them up. Poem wise I think you need to ask your self what your trying to say, and re-write this. It seems as though this is more a list of facts in an opinionated way, but good job i would love to see it redone