Go to that old yellow shed
and you might feel the memories
stored in every inch
of the room.
Perhaps it was a room
where kids laughed and imagined
that they had borrowed Aladdin's carpet
and flown to a wondrous land.
Maybe the walls sighed with gardening tools
while flowers proudly bloomed in the garden
and gnomes hunched among the plants.
Go to that old yellow shed
and the memories might bloom
like the garden that it once stood over.
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Sometimes I think that writing just gets better with age, and that's why I'm slowly getting better. I feel I'm not great because I need practice and I'm young. Then these amazing people like you come along and are magical human beings who write beautiful things haha. I'm jealous.
ANYWAY! To the poem. I have to say, generally poetry isn't my strong suit. I don't "connect" to it very well often. So believe me when I say it's rare for me to like anything in the poetry world. However, I ADORE this one. Like, seriously adore it. Part of me wants to cry because I feel a bit sad, almost melancholic that not only the poem is over but that the memories are too. But it still gives me hope. I can clearly see the games I used to play with my friends in the back yard. (Aladdin rocks, by the way.)
My favorite line though was "Maybe the walls sighed with gardening tools."
I agree with AutoPilot. I came here today expecting to leave a long and helpful review, but I'm left unfortunately with no suggestions since it's more than perfect. Dang it. I'm sorry I can't leave any suggestions besides continue being your awesome self. Just know that this is beautiful and I love it. <3
Agreeing with AutoPilot down below, how are you ten years old and you can write like this?! It's crazy! You are very talented, and I can tell you are a natural born writer just from a single poem. I could barely sing my ABC's at ten still...ha ha just kidding! But seriously, I could never write anything of this caliber at that age.
The rhythm is spot on and I don't really think you need to change anything. You packed such nostalgia and wonder into a tiny little poem, and that's a daunting task for poets/writers of even double or triple your age. Keep up the awesome work, you writing whiz!
Happy writing,
Kali L.
Hello,
Are you seriously ten years old? If so, a round of applause is in order for how well you write. I came across this and my first thought was, "How on earth can review something like this?" It is completely original, it is creative and imaginative, and the ideas you present here are solid. All in all, this poem is a real work of art. So, on to my attempt at reviewing this.
To begin with, as there are no spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors, we can completely disregard that portion of the review.
The flow of this is smooth, and there is not much to say there.
The Story in Your Poem
I support the reasoning that there is a story in or hidden behind every piece of art. Whether it is a poem, a short story, a painting, or a song. Your poem is a story in the truest sense. I really love this poem, and even though it is kind of short, it says more then a few paragraphs are sometimes able too.
These are my favorite lines. They strike that memory match in the back of your head, of those games of Pretend we used to play, and for that, I love you.
There is not much more I can say abut this, so I bid you goodbye.
Astounding work,
So Keep on Writing