Hey gem here again!
So let's get to the review ~
This was a very poetic way to describe encountering the warmth of the sun! It feels like this beautiful nature moment is really extended and disected so that the reader can experience it along with the speaker and I think you've done a really good job with this poem.
A quick grammar note -> "worlds'" should be "world's" with the apostrophe before the "s" unless you mean multiple worlds.
I think that the detail that the honey was "gently" heated honey is a bit odd? As it seems like an odd detail to add to the phrase, and I can't really imagine how heating would be gentle/rough. But I think that the word choice overall that you used was really nice, it's not quite archaic but does feel really elevated which goes nicely with this heavenly theme you've got.
I think the last two lines are my favorite "as it lets me taste its sweet waters leaving my heart's thirst exquisitely whetted" -> it's ironic because one doesn't expect sunlight to be described as "water" in fact that's the very opposite of the sun, and yet some how the discription works I think .
I think with a short minimalistic poem like this the choice to not use punctuation marks or capitalization also kept the poem looking clean and added a modern edge to it with the older language style.
Overall this is a nice piece, and would definitely be the type of thing I could imagine seeing printed on a postcard picture of the sun or something.
All the best,
alliyah
Points: 145700
Reviews: 1250
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