The imagery in this is wonderful! Every image seems to compliment the other ones. I also love the unique formating. It draws your attention. And because of the title, there is this lovely tinge of melancholy tossed casually into the rest of the poem.
I think this piece might run the risk of being almost too "Perfect" if you didn't through in the occasional subtle juxtaposition which lends the piece both a realness and surrealness. This suits the theme and form very nicely.
One of my favorite lines "... just inhale the jasmine, do you feel the seconds yet"
Points: 109
Reviews: 37
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