Young Writers Society

very Nice Story. Pain Of The Girl -beautifully expressed

EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway

First Impression
So true <3 I love this

Nitpicks & Grammar
Nothing to critique here

Style & Flow
First of all I'd change the way this poem is structured, particularly these stanzas-

but if that is true

then who am I and who are you

because on my world for the sweet the sour and the power there is price

Because for the sweet and sour and the power there is a price

"Find something that can help you and others too." That's the best advice I've heard in a while. And like you said, girls aren't made of sugar and spice, at least not necessarily. The only thing I would suggest changing in this poem would be to replace "on my world" with "in my world." I take this work to mean that it's okay if you're feeling down, just don't let the world get the better of you. I was having a bad day, but this poem cheered me up a bit.

Thank you very much^^

I see that you enjoy rhyming in you poems, I just feel as if the line "because on my world for the sweet and the sour and the power there is price" seems a bit longer or more complicated than need be. Also you say, "so when the world has you in its vice, don't just sit and stew" which I feel breaks your rhyming pattern in a way that just throws the reader off slightly.
Other than that however I enjoy this poem a lot, I like the idea that people are known to be kind, then they should continue to act kind. The idea of just sitting and pretending to be something your not. I also like your use of common phrases to urge us to do something better for others. I enjoyed this overall and I believe I would like to read some of your other works. Keep writing, I'd like to see more poetry from you in the future.