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Chapters Alight

by fatherfig


Fifty million times

I've imagined the end of my life,

the way for me to escape

the puzzle that is my brain.

And 49 I've ignored,

but there is always just one more....

And life is bane I tell myself

yet I put another chapter on the shelf,

because I know that it's not true.

And this isn't the best that I can do.

You see if I lead this short life of mine

maybe you will take it as a sign,

deciding you can live through yours.

And hopefully you will realize that you aren't made of coal but of golden ore.

As dark, dreary, and without hope is how we are bred to feel

I think we should all just give ourselves a little time to heal.

If you still think you are made of coal

time can still heal your soul.

Because coal can crash and burn

but under pressure over time it will turn

into a diamond brighter than all its peers,

even if it takes a thousand years.


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127 Reviews

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Reviews: 127

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Wed Sep 02, 2020 4:56 pm
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mythh wrote a review...



Hey Gem, it's Myth here with a review. I shall start without further ado.

This review is probably going to be a short one. Probably not going to hit that one thousand character margin mostly because I didn't find anything wrong or inefficient. I'd say that it's a very pleasant and cute piece.

Does the poem seem like a moral? A little bit. The fast pace of the poem makes it sound more like sitting someone down and explaining these simple yet beautiful things to them than a lousy old moral (I'm only joking, morals are fantastic).

How about the rhyme scheme? There's no definite rhyme scheme till the fifth line but after that, it rhymes at regular intervals. And... don't worry the rhymes don't feel out of place at all. In fact, they fit right in. That was another thing done well.

As for the theme of the poem; it was all about that one metaphor. The morphing of coal. I think that was beautiful and definitely conveys what it means to convey. I don't want to comment on each part of the poem because I don't want to ruin its essence if you get what I mean.

So, that'll be all. I hope I was able to help in encouraging you to continue your expressions.

Yours sincerely,
Myth <3

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fatherfig says...


Thank you. <3



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62 Reviews

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Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:12 am
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ThePatchworkPilgrims wrote a review...



Hey Lady Gemstone! So we managed to find a way back into our old account, thus we say be reviewing from here now and no longer from the TheGreekGeek :D

Anyway, back to your poem. This will be a relatively short review, but we really feel that a poem like this does not deserve to waste away in the Green Room, but be admired by all.

Vocabulary and Grammar/Structure do not have any real pointers, since the nature and meaning of the poem should not be ignored because of nitpicking. Both are in any case more than adequate for the poem in our mind, thus we shan't touch them.

On to Interpretation. As a persons who have suffered from such dark thoughts for most of our (still relatively) short life, this poem resonated deeply with us. That feeling that, though you know you've won countless battles with it so far, that is still a war with your own mind, and all it takes is that one battle that you lose for it all to end.
We feel that you not only did an excellent job of expressing that, but also of still inspiring hope in your audience that, though this is a war, it is one worth fighting.
Your metaphors of coal, gold and diamonds also serve for this purpose. While the pressure of your dark thoughts will always return and press down on you, if you do not lose hope, and press on through these pressures, you will shine brighter and stronger, just as coal shines as diamonds if pressured but persevering.

Overall, we just felt this poem in a very deep part of our soul, only bettered by the fact that the structure and word usage is both fitting and not flawed, and we hope other readers will also find these truths and beauties in this poem.

As always, stay awesome, stay writing, and thank you for touching our souls with your words.




fatherfig says...


Thank you <3
also glad you found you account! <3




A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl