​Look Down

by fatherfig

Published August 31, 2020

In Old Poetry

we are all wilting flowers in a garden that prays for rain

with our roots above the earth

we never have the strength to dig in

and find the hidden streams right below the surface

but one flower may realize as its blossom face is turned towards the earth

the answers to lifes' problems are not always where you expect to find them

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
JoyDark
Review
JoyDark wrote a review Review · Sep 1, 2020

Hey! Imma leave another review on another poem of yours.

It's a short poem, and I don't think I have any critiques (since I know grammar/punctuation stuff is probably stylistic), so this probably won't be the longest review. But I think I like this poem. The metaphor you used is an interesting one, comparing people to flowers trying fruitlessly to reach water. Sometimes we miss what is right in front of us. Sometimes we need to go against what everyone else is doing to reach a more fulfilled place.

Your poem could symbolize a lot of different things. What is the water in humans' daily lives, if we are all flowers who search in the wrong direction and suffer for it? Is it happiness? Maybe this is a message to go against the status quo, that society looks in the wrong places for a fulfilled life, looking to the sky full of riches and luxury instead of looking back at the simpler, kinder things. Is the water even a relevant symbol? I think most of the focus in the poem is on the flowers. The situation the flowers are in almost reminds me of Plato's allegory of the cave, though I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I often am.

What I'm trying to say is that this can be interpreted in many different ways. Either way, I think there is something of a core message: somehow we are ignorant, but maybe one day we won't be. Overall, this poem is hopeful. And that's something I can get behind. :D

Thank you <3

User avatar
MoonIris
Review
MoonIris wrote a review Review · Sep 1, 2020

Hi LadyGemstone,
I'm here with a review. This poem is quite short and so will be my review. You have another great idea with a lovely message. But as I said before you miss the punctuation. I told you about it in my last two reviews so I won't repeat it again.
I found one little grammar mistake.
"the answers to lifes' problems"
It should be life's.
My favorite line of this poem is :
"we are all wilting flowers in a garden that prays for rain"
I think it's a beautiful way to describe life.
This is all I have to say about your poem. I hope my review helps you,
MoonIris.



If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.
— Emily Dickinson