Young Writers Society

Heya Cough! Incoming review!

I'll start this out by saying, I don't know entirely what this is supposed to be about. But hey, that's the fun in reviewing. I wish you could have gotten the formatting the same as in the picture, but oh well. With that said, let's get on with the review!

I'll start with critique.

could i hold onto it
could i hold on to
help another

I feel like the line break might be put in the wrong place if that makes sense. It feels like you made an unnatural pause if you were to have read this aloud. Now, I understand slam poetry is a thing of itself and there is a great recourse Here if you'd want to check it out. But I still don't think the line break should be there. Putting it between "on" and "to" in the second line would make it flow more naturally in your reader's internal voice.

_-- -> creating vvv

I know it doesn't translate as well in this adaptation of the formatting, but when coming upon this line, even in the original, it confused me. The arrow is pointing right, I suppose at the word right next to it, but there is also another stanza to the right. The "vvv" is supposed to be pointing downward, I guess to the stanza below it but then we'd be reading out of chronological order. It's just a little confusion.

Okay, I'm done with critique, time to praise your work! And I'll throw a little bit of my interpretation in there too.

To me, your poem is someone not wanting to get better for fear they won't know who they are. Their anxiety, depression, mood swings, ED, anger issues, all those things have been a part of them for so long. If they get rid of it or try to manage it, they're losing a part of themselves.

i could be a stone
tough and unbothered

but would I skip at the chance
to be - b r o k e n
again?

These lines struck a chord with me because I personally feel that way much of the time. There is some sort of comfort in being uncomfortable. And it is just something well off people will never understand. They say, "You can fight this. You can do this," but all they're really doing is solidifying that you are not okay, and it's pleasing to hear.

I'm glad you made this. The poem brings some thoughts I've been having for a bit into light. I know other people feel this way. And if that isn't the exact interpretation of your poem, well that's awkward XD but really, I'm glad I got something out of this.

But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of this useful! I hope when you come back, this review makes you smile. Anyway byeeeeeeeeeee <333