Young Writers Society

Hello Gem! I'm here to review your poem (courtesy of our Ravenclaw Team)!

First off, this is a very serious subject, so kudos for writing a poem about it!
I like the rhyming scheme, but there are a couple of parts where it becomes inconsistent. For the most part the scheme is:
aabbccdd, etc. ...
but it changes

The innocents and Jews,

Thoroughly abused,

Claimed a sham on the news,

Being beaten and used,

The allies come to fight,

They are doing what is right,

A battle fought by day and night,

Freedom isn’t out of sight,

This is a really touching poem. I can say it very much reflects the terrible events that were the holocausts, one of the darkest times in the world's history. My one choir group actually sang a song based off a "poem" etched in the wall near a concentration camp by a Jewish prisoner. Personally I believe your poem gives me a better connection as if I was there at the time. The ending rhyme may have followed a normal poem set-up, though this will always be unique and special. Thank you for thinking of this and continue your greatness.

Very well done.

The holocaust is a very hard thing to write about, especially when it comes to poetry, but I believe you captured the feel of it extremely well in this poem. My heart sank when reading this, which goes to show how well done it was. I think the rhyming was good for this poem. A lot of people think poetry needs to rhyme which isn't true, however, that also doesn't mean it can't rhyme, and for certain poems such as this one, it can actually help it. I think for me, the sheer number of rhymes you were able to make shows how much can be said about the holocaust, and how horrible it was. Really helped the feel of it sink in even more.

I have literally no relations to Jews, in fact, I'm part German, but even I was able to feel the feelings you were trying to portray in this. All in all, really well done.

Hey Onii-Chan here!

You have a great gift, and using it to move people and create awareness in this way is astonishing. I love how you applied word families and used them to their limit. You described the pain and terror they felt so well, and I hope that you keep on writing to recognize historic events.

Keep on writing!