If I could be a page clear as day to read,
I would never feel estranged to people that I meet,
Cryptic as I am we all would get along,
For almost every soul has felt this very song.
And sang a note off-key
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125,023 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hello there,
This was a beautiful poem! I could definitely relate to its message, and once again, the well-chosen title brought me to it. The rhymes make each line flow and it was enjoyable to read aloud. I liked the word choice; I think most people have felt “cryptic” or “estranged” to those around them at least once in their lives. The meaning of your poem is clear and I loved the last line that talks about singing off-key! It leaves your readers with a powerful message to ponder on.
I was really impressed with this poem! Great work.
~Spider~
Thank you. <3
I am really impressed with the last two lines of this poem.
The second to last line is what we hope with all poems. That we have all felt the feeling that is being described in the poem, so we can all come together over the words. I think I like this line even more because I find myself pushed to disagree with the first three lines. I think, as I read them, "no, poems are not clear to everyone! we often think of different images even based off the same simple words!".
But in the end, I guess I am still tempted to want the ending to be true -- even though our brains process words differently, our souls have felt the meanings.
And I very much enjoy the last line, especially. It links into the second-to-last line, but takes that meaning further into a new theme. If we sing off key, that means no one is getting life quite right. Maybe this is a hint about the audience that the poem book was written for: people who are aware they are not getting life quite right.
Would people who think they are doing life exactly right still feel the same songs from this poem book? Would those people still get along? Would they have separate pages? These are questions you might consider to dig deeper in the poem if you decide to revisit it.
I hope some of these thoughts make sense and are helpful to you.
Please let me know if you have any questions,
Hannah
Thankyou. <3
Hi LadyGemstone,
I'm here with another review. This might be my favorite poem until now. I could relate to it pretty well.
I saw that every line ends with punctuation except this one:
"And sang a note off key"
Maybe you could add something there? As well it should be "off-key".
I don't really have anything more than the fact that I loved it! I hope my review helped you,
MoonIris.
Thank you. <3