“Darlarth,” Malanka yelled, swooping down to land next to her teacher, “Are you okay?”
Darlarth lay out across the sands in a slightly exaggerated dyeing position, his tongue lolling out his mouth.
Malanka rolled her eyes and swatted the pretending Lightning Talon over the head, “Darlarth! The lesson’s finished.”
He opened his eyes and let out a snort of laughter when he saw Malanka’s serious face, “I made a good Ice Talon, yes? What did you think of my dyeing act?” He started to get up.
Sighing, Malanka helped him to his feet, all the time having to listen to his ridiculous repartee.
“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to carry on training alone thanks,” Malanka said, flicking her cobalt tail. She really wanted to think over a few things and Darlarth’s infuriating chitchat wasn’t going to allow that.
He cast her a skeptical glance, but obeyed her wishes and padded towards the tunnel entering the mountain. Malanka let at an involuntary sigh of relief as she watched him leave and heard him give a small snort. When he reached the mouth of the tunnel, much to Malanka’s surprise, he ran into her father.
“Oops. Sorry Darlarth. Didn’t see you there,” exclaimed Songa in his deep voice as he dodged to one side so that he and the older Lightning Talon didn’t collide.
“No problem,” Darlarth said and added cheerily, “We’ve really got to get someone to add more fire rocks by this entrance. This is the second time this week that I’ve nearly bumped into someone, but then that might just be me. Anyway, see you later.” And he ducked into the yawning mouth of the tunnel.
Songa and Malanka watch him leave until only the sound of his dragging tail could be heard fading into the depths of the mountain.
Malanka sighed and got a skeptical look from her father. She smiled sheepishly.
“So, I take it that you heard about the robbery last night?” Songa growled, arching his majestic azure neck with distain, “I tell you, your mother was more infuriated then me about the whole thing.”
Malanka could see that he was trying to joke with her, but she knew how serious the matter was. This war between the Ice Talons and Wind Talons had been steadily growing for some time now and it had been inevitable that this would happen. Still it meant that all soldiers young and old would have to join the battle and Malanka knew that she was old enough to partake in the war. She’d been training for it her whole life. Songa, however was still reluctant to let his daughter go to battle and would sometimes tease about serious things like this. Malanka knew that he just wanted her to stay his little dragonet, but the times where changing and she was now 16 years old and ready for battle.
Songa seemed to catch onto her thoughts and stopped talking. They stood there silently for a few minutes as the blazing afternoon sun beat down on them.
Finally Songa shifted towards a rack with rows of neatly packed weapons and armour. He surveyed the razor sharp wing blades and spiked helmets. He picked up a pair of talon blades and fitted the silver armour over his claws. He opened and closed his paws, the newly applied weaponry glinting menacingly in the sun. Then he turned to Malanka, who was still sitting with her tail curled over her talons.
“So,” Songa shifted on his paws, the talon blades scrapping against the sand, “do you feel like another round of training?”
Malanka raised her head and smiled at him. She’d been hoping that he’d say that. “Sure,” she said, bounding over to him.
Songa sucked in a deep breath, “Now I know that you’re going to be heading into real battle soon.... so I thought I’d teach you how to use the armour and weapons. I think you’re old enough now to be able to handle the extra weight.”
Malanka stood, grinning. She’d been begging him for months to let her try out the Wind Talon armour and weapons, but he’d always said no. Now finally he was going to teach her how to fight with it. She couldn’t help a shiver run through her wings. Finally she was going to become a real soldier.
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139,933 Literary Works • 672,750 Reviews
Cruising right through these short, easy reads! I DO think this chapter can be combined with the previous rather than kept separate--and maybe the next one, too. I once heard a scene described as "a unit of tension," and I think the breaks before and after this chapter feel fairly arbitrary. It would be fine to keep them all as one scene.
You mean "dying" here.
I had a few thoughts about this one. Her attitude toward training isn't quite clear to me. In the first chapter I got the sense that she's really reluctant to train at all, but now I'm thinking maybe she just likes training with her father and no one else? She seems pretty eager and excited in this chapter. (But before, she was wistfully thinking she wants to play and sit in the sun, rather than train at all, right?) Similarly, Darlath acquiesces to her request to train alone, so that makes me wonder--if she's allowed to train alone, why doesn't she do that to start? Why does she humor Darlath at all?
A few more niggly points:
- Why does Songa assume she's heard the news? Didn't she sneakily overhear it when her mother couldn't see?
- Am I going mad, or did you say she was 18 in chapter 1? 16 feels more appropriate, so I'd go with that.
- Dyeing is to change the color of something with dye
Overall though, nice work and a fun story. See you in the next one!
wow this is pretty good
I love your title!! I have never seen I title like that 
my titles are never that good, like min are so bed min are like, the Duck and the pen LOL 
but I am being serous, that is really good!, I like Malanka just something about the character, and I am pretty sad I started reading on chapter 3 just case I always like to start from the beginning, but still I love this chapter and speaking of beginnings I really like how you started off the chapter! did chapter 2 end with a cliff hanger? but any way, pleas tell me if there is a chapter 4 case I would love to read more! and pleas tell me ware chapter 1 and 2 are case this is a really good story from what I have reed, nice work 
Hi. Sorry about the late reply. I'm glad that you like the story and I will definitely let you know when the next chapter is out.
Here are the links to the previous chapters
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Prologue-130615 This is the prologue to the story
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Chapter-One-130659 Here's the first chapter.
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Chapter-Two-130804 And here's the second chapter.
OMG thanks!
I've posted the next chapter. Here's the link if you want.
[url]https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Chapter-4--Malankas-Training-131702[/quote]
Let's try that again.
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Chapter-4--Malankas-Training-131702
Awesome thanks
I love your story but in paragraph 10 you have a mistake you put "the only the sound" I hope this isn't a repeat grammar message.
This seems pretty cool! Right off the bat I like the playful teacher, annoyed student thing. Nice twist. Since I haven't read the other chapters, from the beginning of this one I'd been trying to figure out what these creatures are. The little details like snorting and flicking of tails really helped. It wasn't long before I figured out they were dragons. (That had better be the right assumption...) Totally keep that detail up.
There are a handful of typos in this chapter, so you might want to read it over a few more times. I'll point out a few...
There are only I few suggestions I have, most of your writing was spot on. XD
"This war between the Ice Talons and them had been threatening to burst for some time now and it had been inevitable that this would happen."
"Threatening to burst" just doesn't flow right to me.. Maybe,
"The tension between the Ice Talons and them had been growing steadily for some time now. Of course this would happen. It was inevitable."
Even "and them" sounds meh, I think using the title of whatever they are called might sound better. (Wind Talon?) That whole paragraph would sound really good chopped up a little bit more too. For instance,
"Malanka knew that he just wanted her to stay his little dragonet, but the times were changing. She was now 16 years old, more than ready for battle."
But that's just me nitpicking.
"Songa however was still reluctant to let his daughter go to battle and would sometimes tease about serious things like this."
I would add a comma after "Songa" and before "however". I think there might need to be one after battle too.
"she was now 16 years old and ready of battle."
Ready FOR battle.
“I made a good Ice Talon, yes? What did you think of my dyeing act?”
My "dying" act instead of dyeing.
The typos aren't too noticeable though, I probably made some in this review... >.>
So yeah! There are only a few things that I noticed, but the story is really good. I'm curious about the battle and how Malanka handles it. XD
Thanks so much for the review.
I'll tend to the mistakes right away. Would you like to be noted when the next chapter comes out?
Thanks again and I hope you have a great day\night.
Sure! And you're more than welcome.
I've finished the next chapter if you want the link.
https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/felistia/Thunder-and-Ice-Chapter-4--Malankas-Training-131702