The Quest for Fire Book Two ~ To the Ice Kingdom Chapter 18

by felistia

Published April 28, 2016

E - Everyone

In Old Chapters\ Rejects

Soon a scarlet evening spread over the land and the golden sun disappeared below the far off mountain peaks, shedding its last dying rays over the shimmering ice. The sky slowly faded from a brilliant pink to a frozen violet and early stars started to twinkle into view like pearls against the deep blue sea. The silver moon rose up the cobalt night sky, casting a square rod of gleaming light across Zoltar's snout as he cast a sorrowful glance out the window.

He had less than five days left and time was running out fast. He could feel the warm fire inside him fading and every minute the air seemed to be getting colder. He'd spent the whole day breathing small blasts of fire onto his tail case in the hopes of freeing it. With it free he'd be able to quickly melt the thick steel locks on the cell door, but progress was slow and time was short. He was only halfway through and each hour his fire's heat was growing weaker.

Sighing, he continued to blow small fingers of glowing orange flame upon the metal casing wrapped around his tail, the gleaming light of the fire dancing with the milky rays of the moon streaming through the window in a shimmering ballet of fire and ice.

Felistia's soft snores floated gently through the still night air like ocean waves lapping at a sandy shore, her sides rising and falling rhythmically as she slept. The gash on her flank had clotted and was starting to heal nicely, much to Zoltar's relief.

In the distance, Zoltar could hear the lonely howls of the drilver dragons, their melodic calls deceivingly soft in the needle sharp night air. A cold shiver ran down Zoltar's spine like claws scrabbling against a cliff face. The drilvers were far from the gentle creatures their song portrayed them as. They were savage pack animals that hunted their prey like the giant wolves of the south. The last thing you wanted was to be lost in a snow storm with those things on your tail. They'd rip you limb from limb.

Zoltar hissed a low snarl of warning as another chilling howl cut through the night like talons cutting through ice. He knew though that as long as they were inside, the drilvers wouldn't be able to harm them. But inside wasn't much safer. It was only a matter of time before he died of cold and Felistia's fate wasn't going to be much better. They had to get out of here as soon as possible.

Comments & reviews · 1
HolographicLadybug wrote a review Review · May 1, 2016

[Words go here]

Description! Where the heck did that come from? This was very sudden, like a hurricane or tsunami in the middle of a long drought. My point here is that you should really try keeping your descriptions constant. You need more in the previous chapters (where there was practically none), especially a bit more now because we've only got a bit to go by for the location. What I recommend is going back to the description-dry spots and filling it up with description-water. What I do not recommend is doing it in the future chapters because it's a bit too late in that case. Some readers already have a picture in their heads and wouldn't favour it being changed, while the confused ones will still be confused because you decide to do it then.
Anyway, it's really nice to see them again. :) Here, you've described very clearly and fluidly, with a bit of quickness to it. You painted a good picture here, so good job. A favorite in this chapter for me was when Zoltar could feel his fire fading because it added a bit of desperation to the situation (it was kind of lacking in the previous chapter).

Sorry about this short review, but I really don't have much else to say. And, as always, stay awesome and never stop writing. :)
~Holographic Ladybug
:) Write forever! :)



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