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Quest for Fire Book Three ~ Touch the Sky Chapter 1

by felistia


Flakes of pure white snow slowly drifted down the sky, coating Zoltar’s hunched back spines in a thin layer of frost. He hadn’t moved in the last five minutes. His head was whirling like a hailstorm, while his body refused to move. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t just leave Shiraku and Emerald to the wind talons, but trying to rescue them would be a massive risk. I mean they’d just gotten out of prison, was he willing to go through that all over again? And could he really ask Felistia and Shriken risk their lives for two dragons they hardly knew. Sure Felistia knew Shiraku, but she didn’t exactly get on well with the grumpy sea talon. Would she really risk her life to save Shiraku? There was also the quest to think about. He needed to collect just two more things and then he could go home and save the whole shadow talon tribe. But how could he do that without Emerald? It was her island after all.

Zoltar gave a growl of frustration. Why couldn’t life be simple? Why did it always have to be so complicated? Tears of worry and anxiety started to well around his eyes and his throat felt like it was starting to swell up. All he wanted was a good night’s sleep, but that looked about as far away now as the sun climbing up the sky on the distant horizon. Tears where now streaming down his snout and all he wanted was someone to comfort him.

He sensed Felistia approaching him from behind, but he didn’t turn around. All around his paws were clear crystal drops where his tears had fallen to the snow and had frozen. He felt Felistia’s wing drape over his shoulder and her snout nuzzle his. Curling up closer to her, he wrapped his tail around hers.

“I can’t believe the wind talons took them,” he sniffed as he tried to stop the tears from pouring down his snout and onto the fresh layer of snow below. It was shameful for a shadow talon to cry. Shadow talon weren’t supposed to let their feelings affect them. This was what made them soldiers.

“It’s okay,” Felistia whispered, taking the wind talon scale from his claws, “We’ll find them.”

Zoltar looked up at her, surprised. Was she offering to go look for Shiraku and Emerald, even after what she’d been through in the last week?

“You mean you’ll help me look for them? You’re not just going to leave them?” Zoltar asked, wiping his tears away.

“What do you mean?” Felistia almost snapped, “You thought I wasn’t going to help you look for them? They’re my friends too you know.”

Zoltar smiled and slowly stood to his feet. He couldn’t just break down into tears. Emerald and Shiraku were in danger and they needed him to be strong.

He noticed Shriken standing alone under the tree, watching them. When he saw Zoltar looking at him, he ducked his head and shifted his gaze. He looked a little uncomfortable and kept shifting his wings.

Zoltar realized that he hadn’t even talked to Shriken yet which was kind of rude on his behalf since Shriken had rescued them and all.

Wiping his snout dry, Zoltar walked over to the young ice talon. Shriken saw him coming over and immediately sat up, ducking his head in submission. His wings were spread and his tail was curled in an extremely sophisticated way. Zoltar cocked his head for a second before recognizing that Shriken was acting the same way he’d act before a chief. But why? Zoltar wasn’t even a fully-fledged soldier let alone a chief, so why was the dragon from another tribe bowing to him like he was his leader?

He’s scared of me,’ Zoltar realized as he watched the ice talon’s eyes dart this way and that like a fish trying to escape a cat’s claws. Why though? He wasn’t much bigger than Shriken and it wasn’t like he had any authority over the ice talon. After all it had been Shriken that had saved them from the Ice Kingdom, not Zoltar. But then he had threatened to attack Shriken and Shriken didn’t know him very well, so it did kind of make sense that the ice talon was scared of him. Still, even though Zoltar did like the feeling of have authority, he knew it wasn’t right for an ice talon to act like this in front of a shadow talon.

“Hi… Shriken,” Zoltar said, trying to be pleasant, but it seemed to come out a bit more awkwardly than he’d envisioned in his head. “You know…you don’t have to be like that around me? It’s not like I’m your chief or anything.”

Shriken hurriedly scrambled to his paws, “Sorry sir, didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he quickly apologized.

Zoltar cocked his head at this bizarre dragon. Why was he acting like this? It was starting to put him bit on edge. No dragon was this jumpy for no reason.

It was almost a relief when he felt Felistia’s cold wing tip brush against his. She looked at him with her deep golden eyes as if saying she’d-take-care-of-this.

“Shriken,” she put on of her moon silver wings over her brother’s back, “Zoltar’s not your chief. You don’t have to act so formal around him you know? He’s not like Shiler okay.”

Shriken nodded timidly as he seemed to huddle closer to his sister side. He looked so small next to Felistia; a completely different dragon than the one that had led them out of the ice kingdom. Where had that confident dragon gone?

Another question, that he’d been wondering about for a while now, popped into the front of his thoughts. Was Shriken here to stay or was he just hanging around for a little while before going back to the ice kingdom?

Zoltar gave Felistia a significant look and darted his eyes towards Shriken who was still nestled under her wing, his tail curled neatly over his talons. She seemed to understand and bent her neck to whisper something in his ear. He listened as his eyes glanced back towards the swirling snows of the ice kingdom. Zoltar thought he could see a strange fear in Shriken’s eyes, one of great trauma. But it disappeared as the young ice talon nodded his head enthusiastically and whisper something back in Felistia’s ear. His sister smiled warmly.

“He’s going to come with us, Zoltar,” Felistia stated in an almost stubborn voice as she twined her tail with her brother’s, “The queen will kill him for his betrayal if he goes back.”

“Well it’s not like I mind, so I don’t know why you’re acting as though I’m going to say no,” Zoltar hissed sarcastically. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice anyway. Felistia was almost twice his size and could easily overrule him.

“So…do you have a plan at all on how we’re going to rescue Emerald and that ridiculous sea wing?” Felistia asked as she gazed in the direction of the Wind Talon Mountains.”

“Well…no, not really,” Zoltar began slowly, “But it’s a long way to the wind talons, so I thought we’d think of one on the way there, since we don’t really want to waste any more time.”

Felistia looked sceptical for a minute as she listened to Zoltar, but after a bit of thinking she nodded her head, “I agree. We shouldn’t really sit around here thinking of a plan when we could think of one on the way there. I just hope this doesn’t turn into another fiasco like the ice talon kingdom.”

“Well now I’m offended,” Zoltar snorted, arching his neck indignantly, “As I seem to remember, it was you not telling me a bunch of very important things that got us into that particular fiasco thank you very much.”

Felistia put a paw to her snout as she tried to muffle a rush of giggles, “Okay Zoltar, okay I agree. It was my fault.” She burst out laughing again as Zoltar ruffled his wings and gave her another look of outmost disdain, “And I’m sorry. I already said that you know. You can’t get cross at me all over again.”

“Okay,” Zoltar laughed, “Just don’t go blaming me for it.”

“Fine,” Felistia replied, still trying to snuff her fit of laughter, “Let’s go.” And with that she leapt into the clear blue sky, her wings catching the late morning sun.

“You coming?” Zoltar turning to Shriken who was still looking a bit nervous as he watched his sister take to the air.

“A-ah yes,” he stuttered, looking back in the direction of the ice kingdom. He had his wings tucked in close to his body and was shifting from one paw to the other.

“Don’t worry. I know that you must feel a bit left out at the moment, but you’ll soon fit in,” Zoltar said encouragingly.

“Sure,” the ice talon said, squaring his shoulders and scrapping at the layer of snow below him.

“Come on, let’s go,” Zoltar roared joyfully as he joined Felistia in the cool open air, beating his wings in long sweeping arcs as he gained height. Shriken followed him silently. There was something wrong with this dragon. He just seemed a bit off and it was making Zoltar uncomfortable, but he had to give him a chance since he had saved their lives. He was also Felistia’s brother and she seemed to trust him.

Shrugging aside his thoughts, Zoltar aimed for the mountains rising up over the horizon. White mist swirled over their towering peaks and the silver snow capping the tops seemed to shimmer and gleam in the rising sun.


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Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:02 am
CanzetYote says...



As I said before, I wish I could just cuddle with Zoltar and lick those tears streaming down his snout so badly. Poor baby.




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Sun Jul 31, 2016 7:28 am
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writerkitty wrote a review...



Hello, Felistia! ^_^ Writerkitty's here with a review for you!

Thank you so much for tagging me every time you post a new chapter, I really enjoy reading this novel. :D

Okay, let's get to the review, shall we?

I really feel sorry for poor Zoltar, he managed to escape from the Ice Talon Kingdom and collect an item needed to save his tribe, but he lost two of his friends! ( :( Emerald is my favorite character, Zoltar, go save her, quick!)

You nailed it with Zoltar's emotions. You vividly showed out how troubled and worried he was at the moment. I indeed felt sorry for the poor guy.

Also, I'm glad that he has Felistia by his side. She's a pretty nice dragon. Her kind caring ways always seem to make Zoltar feel better. And I enjoyed reading this chapter because it only gave the reader's hints about what's going to happen next, but it also gave us the chance to get a proper view of the characters. ^^

There's one thing (Well, there are a lot of things actually) I love about your characters. They seem so real! I mean when I'm reading your chapters it's like I'm right there, watching the dragons speaking to each other and carrying out their plans! This also proves that your dialogue is pretty good too.

Shriken is an interesting character. Although you show out that he's a scaredy-cat in front of Zoltar, I just feel that's he's hiding something...I mean he might be a good dragon. After all, he did save them and he's Felistia's younger sister. But something about him seems off! ;)
It's great that you make your characters interesting and mysterious, it increases the reader's curiosity!

I hope to discover more about this young ice talon in the other chapters.

Oh, I almost forgot, I love the humor you used here! It really made this chapter really fun to read! ^^

“Well now I’m offended,” Zoltar snorted, arching his neck indignantly, “As I seem to remember, it was you not telling me a bunch of very important things that got us into that particular fiasco thank you very much.”

Felistia put a paw to her snout as she tried to muffle a rush of giggles, “Okay Zoltar, okay I agree. It was my fault.” She burst out laughing again as Zoltar ruffled his wings and gave her another look of outmost disdain, “And I’m sorry. I already said that you know. You can’t get cross at me all over again.”

“Okay,” Zoltar laughed, “Just don’t go blaming me for it.”


That's my favorite part! :D

And now for the nitpicks and suggestions! :)



And could he really ask Felistia and Shriken to risk their lives for two dragons they hardly knew,


The proposition, 'to' is missing in this sentence.


All he wanted was a good night’s sleep, but that looked about as far away now as the sun climbing up the sky on the distant horizon.


This part of the sentence seems a bit confusing. Maybe it's a bit too long. When the reader's reading it, they get stuck as they read the end, because it's hard to keep track of the sentence. ^^ Maybe it's just my bad.`



All around his paws were clear crystal drops where his tears had fallen to the snow and had frozen.


Maybe you could change this sentence a bit to make it more meaningful, here's a suggestion,

Spoiler! :
clear drops of frozen tears were all around his paws.

I think if you add 'snow' here, the sentence would get a little messy. So you can mention that there's snow in another sentence. (This is just a small suggestion)


She burst out laughing again as Zoltar ruffled his wings and gave her another look of outmost disdain,


I think 'utmost' should be written instead of 'outmost' ^^


Overall this is a great chapter and I can't wait to read more!!! :D
Never stop writing and have a super awesome day! ^^

Also, Happy Review Day!!




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Thu Jul 28, 2016 12:15 am
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Carlito wrote a review...



Hello, hello! Here to get caught up with these dragons :D

I'm glad we picked up right where we left off with the recent discovery that their friends were taken, and I was glad to see Zoltar's internal struggle over what to do now. Based on the seeds you've planted, I'm not sure we can trust Shriken and I'm starting to think that maybe their ordeal with the ice talons isn't quite over. If that's true, I'm glad you started to plant those seeds. As the reader, I want mistrust for him to build so if/when he betrays them/something goes down it doesn't feel completely out of the blue. But along those same lines, be careful that you don't make it too obvious or that you don't give too much away too soon. I think here you did a bit too much and you repeated the feelings of mistrust a bit too often and now it feels obvious that he's going to betray them in some way or that things aren't as they seem.

Some specific thoughts -

Flakes of pure white snow slowly drifted down the sky, coating Zoltar’s hunched back spines in a thin layer of frost.

I like the sentiment here, but the phrasing doesn't quite do it for me. I think you're missing a word in the first part - "drifted down from the sky". Then you first describe it as snow, but when it sits on him its described as frost. Which is it? Because those are very different things.

His head was whirling like a hailstorm, while his body refused to move.

You don't need that part after the comma because in the previous sentence you told us that he hasn't moved.

I mean they’d just gotten out of prison, was he willing to go through that all over again?

You're mixing up your POV here. Take out the "I mean" OR put all of this in italics to signify it's Zoltar's specific thought and then change the other pronouns to reflect that (they'd to we had, he willing to I willing).

Sure Felistia knew Shiraku, but she didn’t exactly get on well with the grumpy sea talon. Would she really risk her life to save Shiraku?

What about Emerald? Which one is the sea talon again? The four of them have been traveling together for some time. Felistia isn't as loyal as Zoltar and I can see why she would be less excited about jumping into this type of mission, but they did spend quite a bit of time together.
I would also do a new paragraph after this line because even though it's still his thought process, the subject of that process has shifted.

It was her island after all.

What island? "It" is a very vague word and it's been a while since islands were discussed. Are you talking about the island the shadow talons would move to is her island?

Why couldn’t life be simple? Why did it always have to be so complicated?

These say the same thing, so I would only use one of them.

Tears of worry and anxiety started to well around his eyes and his throat felt like it was starting to swell up.

I'm glad you showed his emotion here describing this eyes, tears, and throat. But, you don't have to tell us that they're coming from a place of anxiety and worry. I think the reader will be able to infer that, and I'd rather see the feeling than be told what the feeling is.

It was shameful for a shadow talon to cry. Shadow talon weren’t supposed to let their feelings affect them. This was what made them soldiers.

Great way to add in some world detail. This is important to the moment at hand and helps the reader understand the present situation in a clear and concise way.

Was she offering to go look for Shiraku and Emerald, even after what she’d been through in the last week?

“You mean you’ll help me look for them? You’re not just going to leave them?” Zoltar asked, wiping his tears away.

These two things feel a bit repetitive to me. I'm not sure you need both the thought and the dialogue.

Felistia almost snapped,

What is an "almost snap"? How would Zoltar know she almost snapped? What's that sound like or look like?

He noticed Shriken standing alone under the tree, watching them. When he saw Zoltar looking at him, he ducked his head and shifted his gaze. He looked a little uncomfortable and kept shifting his wings.

Zoltar realized that he hadn’t even talked to Shriken yet which was kind of rude on his behalf since Shriken had rescued them and all.

I think this is the only clue you need to add in this chapter about Shriken maybe not being all he seems. This plants the seed of doubt. Especially if that second paragraph is Zoltar processing what the thinks of Shriken in this moment. I think the second paragraph right now. I didn't think it was awkward that Zoltar hadn't talked to him yet and I didn't think it was rude. I thought it was awkward that it was brought up at all. Zoltar just went through this really emotional thing. Of course he doesn't want to go talk to everyone right at this second, especially someone he doesn't know very well. I think it would be a bit more powerful to show some of Zoltar's thoughts about what he thinks of Shriken standing alone and what he thinks of Shriken's discomfort before he goes over to talk to him.

Shriken saw him coming over and immediately sat up, ducking his head in submission. His wings were spread and his tail was curled in an extremely sophisticated way.

These two sentences can be combined and simplified. Obviously Shriken sees him coming over because he just made eye contact with Zoltar. "Shriken immediately sat up, ducked his head in submission, spread his wings, and curled his tail in an extremely sophisticated way." But extremely sophisticated way is a bit vague. Can you think of a way to describe that in a bit more detail?

Zoltar cocked his head at this bizarre dragon. Why was he acting like this? It was starting to put him bit on edge. No dragon was this jumpy for no reason.

Okay this is perfect for planting the seed. Maybe don't include his thoughts about Shriken where I suggested earlier and go right from that first paragraph into Zoltar approaching Shriken. I think this is all the thought you need to plant the seed of uncertainty around Shriken.

“Shriken,” she put on of her moon silver wings over her brother’s back, “Zoltar’s not your chief. You don’t have to act so formal around him you know? He’s not like Shiler okay.”

Shriken nodded timidly as he seemed to huddle closer to his sister side. He looked so small next to Felistia; a completely different dragon than the one that had led them out of the ice kingdom. Where had that confident dragon gone?

This feels really repetitive to what Zoltar said and how Shriken reacted and what Zoltar thought after. I'm not sure we need them both.

Another question, that he’d been wondering about for a while now, popped into the front of his thoughts. Was Shriken here to stay or was he just hanging around for a little while before going back to the ice kingdom?

This transition felt a bit abrupt. Is there a way to transition into this? Perhaps through conversation or through Zoltar not feeling quite sure about Shriken? Like if he's not sure what to think of Shriken, he might be interested in the possibility that he won't be sticking around and then want to get confirmation about that.

“He’s going to come with us, Zoltar,” Felistia stated in an almost stubborn voice as she twined her tail with her brother’s, “The queen will kill him for his betrayal if he goes back.”

I think I would prefer this to be a bigger conversation rather then a silent thing and then Felistia telling him how it is.

It wasn’t like he had much of a choice anyway. Felistia was almost twice his size and could easily overrule him.

And beyond size, does he feel for Shriken and want to help the guy? Is he willing to go out on a bit of a limb here because he's Felistia's brother and he cares about Felistia? What are his motivations beyond just "she'll beat me up if I say no". Zoltar is a caring and compassionate guy. I feel like that part of his personality would play into this decision, or at least it should.

Felistia looked sceptical for a minute as she listened to Zoltar, but after a bit of thinking she nodded her head, “I agree. We shouldn’t really sit around here thinking of a plan when we could think of one on the way there. I just hope this doesn’t turn into another fiasco like the ice talon kingdom.”

This dialogue felt a bit awkward to me. I think it feels a bit robotic because she's basically reciting what Zoltar just said. I'm a little surprised she doesn't have any dissent. Are there any flaws in this plan? Does she have any additional ideas? What does Shriken think? If he's going to come along, shouldn't he have a say in what they're going to do? I think this needs to be a bigger conversation. This is all happening too easy.

“Don’t worry. I know that you must feel a bit left out at the moment, but you’ll soon fit in,” Zoltar said encouragingly.

This feels awkward to me. If Zoltar is so convinced Shriken feels left out then why isn't he making an effort to help the other dragon feel like he belongs?

There was something wrong with this dragon. He just seemed a bit off and it was making Zoltar uncomfortable, but he had to give him a chance since he had saved their lives. He was also Felistia’s brother and she seemed to trust him.

I would take this out for now. I think you've planted enough of a seed (where I mentioned earlier) and including this will make it too obvious that something is going to go down with Shriken and things are not as they seem.


Overall, this isn't a bad chapter, but I think everything happened too easily. All of Zoltar's worries and things were easily remedied by Felistia. I think there needs to be more conflict here and Shriken needs to be more involved. He's part of the group now so it needs to feel like he's part of the group. (Even though it's probably going to end up being a bad thing for the others.) Plant those little seeds, but let Z and F continue with their blissful ignorance that something could be up for a little while. That creates some fun suspense for the reader :)

I'll leave things there for now, but please let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing! I'll be back for the other chapters very soon! :D




felistia says...


Thank you so much for the review. I know that this chapter was awkward on the whole. I spent over three weeks trying to write it and had a bit of a writers block. The next chapter will be much better. :D



Carlito says...


I totally understand. Sometimes you just have to get words on the page :)



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Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:36 pm
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SarcasticSpringRoll wrote a review...



ok the cover is AMAZING!!! and the story was great, the ending was perfect, and the beginning was phenomenal Zoltar was cool Felistia was pretty cool and the ice talon was amazing love that part. And shimmer and gleam in the rising sun, bountiful suntans I love it :) :) :) :) :) you did great from a 1 to 10 rating I would give it a 10!!!! good job, and the title is so awesome like pizza awesome so all I can say is WOW! and nice, nice JOB! :) this is a story that I would defiantly want to read agene





Maybe I should say something quote-worthy, like, I dunno... "You can only be happy if you decide to be happy?"
— Necromancer14