A great billowing carpet of white clouds swirled below Zoltar. His shadow danced on the sun lit blanket while the bright yellow sun reflected off his obsidian scales. The sky up above was clear a blue crystal and the air was warm against his scales, but it just seemed to mock the unbearable loneliness in his heart.
"Why am I always not good enough?" he asked quietly to himself as if expecting an answer to the question he'd been asking for years. It wasn't like he didn't try his hardest, it just wasn't hard enough. Why couldn't the shadow talons just accept him for who he was? They always treated him badly just because he didn't have the acid fangs that all Shadow Talons had. Because of it he'd been shunned from birth. Even his own parents had thought he'd been an accident and had abandoned him. If it hadn't been for Scorpus taking him in, he probably would have died. Now Scorpus was gone and the only dragon that had cared about him was gone forever. Life just felt empty now.
He was sure that if he'd been born with acid fangs, he would have fitted in just like all the other Shadow Talon dragonets. It wasn't like he wasn't a Shadow Talon, he was just a little different. Sometimes he thought about the other dragon tribes living in Megalonia and how they treated their tribe members. It was days like these that he wished he'd been born a Moon Talon or better yet a Sea Talon. He wondered what his life would have been like if he'd been born into one of those tribes.
The clouds were starting to turn grey and the horizon glowed red. As Zoltar neared, he could see the tall figure of the volcano rising up from the middle of the Shadow Lands. The land was streaked with orange and gold. Zoltar surveyed the rivers of lava in worry. The volcano was getting more violent by the day and it was only a matter of time before it erupted again. The Shadow Talons needed to move as soon as possible before the volcano wiped them out for good.
Sparks flew through the air and the smoke grew thicker as Zoltar neared the group of tunnels he and the rest of the Shadow Talon soldiers stayed. Hisster’s and the other Shadow Talons caves weren’t that far off. As Zoltar flew past Hisster’s home he could hear Hisster growling in a deep voice while the other soldiers laughed mockingly.
Sighing to himself sadly, Zoltar landed a few caves down and ducked into his tunnel. A dim fire rock lit the small room, the weak light just enough to make out a rock slab in the corner; his only possession in the world. Curling up into a tight ball on the slab, Zoltar closed his eyes, waiting for the relief of sleep to come.
…….
The next morning Zoltar was woken by the sounds of dragons’ roaring and wings clapping together. He jumped out of bed and rushed up the tunnel outside. A crowd of Shadow Talons were assembled round Hisster’s cave. It seemed as though every dragon in tribe had shown up; around a hundred to a hundred and fifty dragons.
Zoltar pushed his way through the mob, dodging a mass of sharp talons and barbed tails. A few dragons snapped at him disapprovingly, muttering things like runt and loser. Zoltar simple ignored them though. The Shadow Talons had said demoralizing things to him all his life, but he'd gotten used to it. Right now he wanted to see if Hisster really was going to leave him out of the quest. After all there where only five soldiers left including him.
All the dragons were gathered round four large Shadow Talons. They were wearing golden armor which glinted and sparkled in the rising sun. The gold was tainted red from the glowing lava streams that flowed by the caves.
The crowd fell silent as Hisster emerged out of his cave. Hisster walked proudly over to a big rock and stepped up onto it. He raised his wings to silence the few dragons whispering in the back.
“My fellow Shadow Talons,” he began, “I have gathered the best of the tribe to go on a mission for the Ruby of Fire.” His eyes caught on Zoltar peaking out of the crowd, who flinched and ducked back into the sea of wings and talons.
“They will travel to the Misty Mountain Island and get a Wisp Talon scale. They will return and give it to me, so that I know they are doing as instructed. Then they will travel all over the continent of Megalonia to collect the other three things, which will be given to the Riconra in exchange for the Ruby of Fire. I will then travel back to the forbidden hills and give the ruby to the Howler Dragons. They will in return kill the Exltron on the Misty Mountain Island, enabling us to leave this waste land and go live on the island!”
There was deafening round of applause as Hisster stepped off his rock. The four Shadow Talons that stood in the middle of the mob opened their wings and soared into the air heading for the Misty Mountain Island. The crowd cheered until the four Shadow Talons were only black speaks on the horizon. Slowly the dragons started to go their separate ways, leaving Zoltar lost in thought.
‘He actually did it. Hisster sent the group away without me. They are never going to be able to do it on their own. I may not be a good soldier, but I am the best at geography. I know the continent like the back of my paw and I have been to the island. They aren’t going to make it. They don’t know what they are getting into. I will be surprised if they even return,’ Zoltar thought, walking back to his cave. He could feel that something had snapped inside him. Maybe it was final rejection for Hisster combine with fact that Scorpus had died. He could feel all the hate and sorry he'd held in over the years boiling up to the surface of his mind like a volcano about to erupt. ‘Hisster will need me. I am the best dragon for the job, he just doesn’t want to admit it. I’ll give it two weeks at most. Hisster is going to be begging me for my help.’
…….
Zoltar sat inside his dark cave with only the dim fire rocks to light the rust brown walls. He had laid out in front of him a mountain of scrolls, each about a different part of Megalonia. Ever roll of paper held a specific memory to Zoltar and reading them brought back many memories. He and Scorpus had been part of the team of dragons to cross the continent in search of a new home for the shadow talons. He'd had to go through a pile of scrolls to gain knowledge of continent before he’d been able to attend the mission. He’d studied for months alongside Scorpus and after reading enough scrolls to fill a book shelf he’d been able to go with Scorpus on the mission.
Zoltar smiled at each and every one of the memories as he read.
‘I know that Hisster is going to need me, so I best review the scrolls. Scorpus would want me too,' Zoltar thought as he studied the map to the Misty Mountain Island.
Days passed with no sign of the four Shadow Talons and Zoltar could see that Hisster was starting to get worried. He sat outside his cave every day gazing at the sky as though the four Shadow Talons would suddenly appear. Almost two weeks passed and still no sign. They only had a year to find the Ruby of Fire and they needed every second of it. Time was running out and Zoltar was getting fed up of Hisster's stubbornness.
‘He’s too pig-headed to admit that he was wrong and now he's putting the entire tribe at risk of another eruption any day now. I guess I am going to have to confront him for the sake of the Shadow Talons,’ Zoltar decided, padding over to Hisster, 'Maybe after I save the day and get the Ruby, they'll actually see me as one of them."
Hisster noticed Zoltar's approach and gave him a dagger like glare. Zoltar chose to ignore it and simply stated, “They’re not coming back you know.”
“What do you want?” Hisster growled, his amethyst eyes burning and yet a hint of worry could be seen in the depths of them.
“You are going to have to send me out there. They aren’t coming back and we have until next autumn to give the Howler Dragons the ruby and I don’t want to think about what they will do if we don’t arrive on time. You're running out of options. Put you’re stubbornness aside and work with me for the sake of the tribe, you are their chief after all. It's not my fault that I don't have acid fangs like the rest of the soldiers, but I am the only soldier left, so deal with it.”
Hisster remand silent as if in deep thought.
Snorting in irritation, Zoltar continued with his rant, "Look, I'm going to get that ruby whether you like it or not. I don't need your approval. This tribe had been treating me like an outcast ever since I was born. Quite frankly I think you guys are a bunch of petty rats with wings and it would not sadden me to see you all perish, but I will not let the Moon talons suffer just because of your stubbornness. We've already caused the Sea talons damage and I will not let history repeat its self. Both of these tribes have more heart than this one and I will not let them die because of you. So you can agree to work with me or against me, but really I don't care." It felt so good to just let out all the anger and hatred he'd held in for so long. It felt like a great stone had lifted from his chest and a new feeling of confidence spread over him from head to tail.
Hisster's eyes widened for a second as a look for surprise crossed over his face. Then it was gone and he snarled “Fine I will work with you... for the sake of the tribe,” Hisster spat, “but if you don’t return within a year, the shadow talons will have no choice, but to announce war against the Moon Talon tribe. You have until next autumn.”
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Okay, I've made a mistake. I thought the howler dragons just gave them the things and told them "send it to those dudes", which I admit is a mess on my part. I guess now that plot point makes way more sense now.
However, in my defense, you dropped so much information in this chapter that was unheard of in the previous chapters that I'm now incredibly confused.
But let's not talk about that for now. Firstly, the highlights.
Jumped, not jump.
Flinched, not flinch. Your present tense is showing.
Passed, not past.
Now, let's talk about the amount of infodumping you just did to me. Firstly, that was not polite. Secondly,
1. If the reason why Zoltar was such an important member of the team was because he was the geographer, you should've shown that from the very beginning. I've been pondering about why Zoltar is even here and it's only been told to me at Chapter Six, which only confuses me more.
2. Also another thing you really should've told us about from chapter 1-3, Zoltar's disability and the fact that he's being bullied. Sure, he gets bullied by Hisster a lot, but that's only Hisster. How is the audience supposed to deduce that Zoltar is being bullied by the rest of his tribe when we haven't even seen the rest of his tribe? It's all very confusing, as you know, and I wish you mentioned this in the beginning.
Anyway, though, this is getting interesting. I suppose the dynamic is back in action (?). It'll be interesting to see what happens after this.
Signing out,
--EM.
Thanks for the review. I did mention in the second chapter that Hisster needed Zoltar for his geography skills, but for your second question I completely agree. I'll go back and show the reader that Zoltar has a disability sooner. Thanks again.
Hello, Ripple again!
I have to say, I love this imagery. The problem lies in your transition to how Zoltar is feeling. I don't think "tiny" quite works in this situation; maybe "inconsequential" would work better? Or maybe you could say that this happy environment was mocking how lonely he feels right now?
This is a very emotional subject for Zoltar, obviously, and I think if you could manipulate the wording to give the reader a taste of his pain, it will influence the reader a lot more.
Do dragons in this world have a concept of possessions? I'm just curious.
This is a different attitude than Zoltar typically has. This speaks of resentment, not quite loneliness. If he shifted from loneliness to anger and resentment in his thoughts, it would be easier to understand.
At times, you have to watch the idioms you use. While to us, this idiom makes sense, it wouldn't make any sense from a dragon's point of view. You're pretty good at checking this most of the time; just be careful.
To be honest, I expected more griping from Hisster before he gave in. I also don't quite understand why they would have to go to war with the Moon Talons if Zoltar fails, nor why this would be any motivation for Zoltar.
Good work! Your imagery is amazing, your prose is decent, and I can't wait to read more! Keep writing!