Zoltar rushed home towards the Shadow Lands, the wind from his wings churning the ocean as he soared low over the dark waters. Mount Mokewtu loomed in front of him, its peak a blazing fury of scarlet and gold fire. Black clouds of chest burning ash spewed from the volcanoes gaping mouth.
Zoltar’s heart was racing a millions wing beats an hour. Maybe this was the one. Maybe they’d finally be able to get away from this hell on earth. This island was perfect, green and full of life. It was almost the same as the Shadow Lands had once been.
As if in agreement, the volcano rumbled and belched out more streams of molten rock. The rivers of glowing crimson lava twisted over the bleak landscape like snakes on their way to the sea. Caves potted the matted black hills of rock. Ash and sulphur clouded the scorching air.
The foul gasses raked Zoltar's chest with toxic claws, causing him to cough and gasp. They couldn’t last much longer in this desolate waste land. There wasn’t enough food and the toxic gasses the volcano continually spewed was enough to make any dragon feel half dead.
Zoltar carefully landed on a slab of solid rock next to one of the numerous caverns carved out of the landscape. There was not another Shadow Talon in sight as the evening's grip tightened over the desolate plain.
It was never a good idea to stay out at night on these magma strewn rocks. Packs of ravenous Flytang raptors hunted by the light of the lava flows and would take down anything they could find; big or small.
He glanced around him. Off in the distance he could see a pair of Shyfu, their long serpent like figures coated in a fresh coat of glowing orange lava. Their mottled black scales matched the chunks of cooled lava strewn across the landscape as they slid along old lava flows. As if sensing his stare the Shyfu turned their gaze and fixed him with their pitch black eyes, hissing in their shrill voices. Shivering, Zoltar ducked inside the cave. He didn’t want to run into one of those things up close.
Glowing fire rocks lit up the tunnel, their red light flickering in the murky darkness. Stale air clouded the passages. The floor felt rough under Zoltar’s scaly paws unlike the soft, green grass he longed for. The Shadow Talons had been forced to go underground after the volcano’s eruption as the air had become too blisteringly hot and would kill a dragon in hours. In these endless caverns the air was unpleasantly warm, but not fatal.
As Zoltar voyaged deeper underground, he passed passageways that snaked off in many different directions. All was quiet in the corridor apart from the clacking of his claws on the rock. The Shadow Talons had never recovered from the eruption and so many of the tunnels and rooms Zoltar passed were empty. The air felt hauntingly still like the souls of those who were lost were still wandering the tunnels as silent ghosts. The few dragons remaining had moved as far away from the volcano as possible to reduce the risk of another disaster. Though there was still the looming possibility that the volcano would belch out another massive eruption and take the rest of the Shadow Talons lives with it.
He passed another cavern, but unlike the others, this one had a Shadow Talon inside. She was curled up around a pile of mouse fur and clumps of fresh dirt. There was a single black egg nestled in the nest. It looked almost ready to hatch.
Zoltar realized with a stab of worry that there was no father in sight. This probably meant he'd been killed on one of the expeditions for new land.
The female guarding the nest was in a sorry state herself and was heavily emaciated. Zoltar felt a wave of guilt pass over him. He'd been able to get a decent amount of food since he'd become a soldier and was able to venture out of the Shadow Lands on missions.
Reaching into the pouch around his neck he brought out on of the fruits he’d gathered from outside the Shadow Lands. They were supposed to be his rations until he had another mission, but the Shadow Talon and her dragonet needed it more than him. He gently placed the bright green melon beside the egg. There was no need to wake the sleeping mother. She’d find it when she woke.
He looked back at the egg by its mother’s side. There was little chance of the dragonet inside surviving with its mother in such poor condition. It had become a sad, but familiar sight since the eruption.
Sighing, Zoltar moved on.
Zoltar reached the end of the tunnel, which finished in a large room lit by many scarlet fire stones. In the middle of the room Hisster was seated on a beautiful gold throne. His violet, curved horns glinted like polished glass and his poisonous barbed tail rested like a waiting snake next to his throne. He narrowed his cat like eyes as Zoltar walked into the room. Zoltar spread his wings elegantly and bowed, waiting for Hisster’s commands, just as Scorpus had taught him.
"What news do you bring?" the chief asked in a deep rumbling voice, staring at Zoltar with his glowing eyes, “Did you find an island?”
“Yes sir,” Zoltar said, getting to his paws, “A few miles off the Moon Talons north coast. It’s quite a large island, well forested so there’ll be plenty of food. There’s a fresh water lake for drinking water and there’s a maze of misty pillars ringing the island. It’s low enough that we could fly over it, but it makes for a great defence against low flying dragons like the Sea Talons as it’s not the easiest to navigate. I’m not sure if there are any native tribes as I didn’t land. I thought I’d wait for additional instructions before investigating further.”
“Splendid,” Hisster growled, showing his sparkling white fangs, “If I remember right that island belongs to the Wisp Talon tribe. They used to trade with us once a long time ago. Then one day they seemed to simply disappear. Haven’t seen them since. Ha I’m sure they’re still on that island though.”
“What do you plan to do with them?” Zoltar asked, a little worried, “Do you want to work out a peace agreement for us to share the island with them? It seems big enough for two tribes to live quite happily.”
Hisster threw back his head and barked a loud laugh, “A peace agreement? Really? Since when have you heard of two tribes agreeing to live alongside each other? That’s a ridicules idea.”
Zoltar, feeling quite humiliated, remain silent. He’d hoped they could make peace with the native tribe. That last thing he wanted to have was war. They’d done that once before with the Sea Talons and it had not gone well for either side.
“No,” Hisster said suddenly, having regained his composure, “We’ll have to get rid of them. Of course there is the slight problem of there not being enough soldiers. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now and I think I’ve come up with a solution.”
‘Oh for suffering serpents sake here we go’ Zoltar thought, his stomach going into a knot. Hisster’s solutions were almost always a bad idea.
“We’ll go to the Howler Dragons. They’ve helped other tribes in times of war.”
Zoltar could hardly stop himself from smacking his paw against his snout in exasperation. The Howler dragons? Really? That was his big idea?
“But sir, the Howler dragons are well known as the most despicable dragons in Megalonia. Just look at what they did to the Lightning Talons. One second they’re helping them with the war, the next they’ve joined their enemy, just because the Ice Talons payed a higher price. I really don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Nonsense,” Hisster said, waving a paw carelessly, “Scorpus and Mouzan should be back soon. Then we can all go negotiate a deal with them tomorrow. You are dismissed.”
“When this all goes south, don’t expect me to pull you out the muck,” Zoltar mumbled to himself, stepping out the room.
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I'm loving how so much of this is different but I can still tell how it's related to the first draft. Trust me, the plot is so much easier to follow this time around. I feel really immersed in the world, too.
I thought dragonets was a cute term for a baby dragon, but what I usually hear used is hatchling. Still, totally up to you.
Something else I really like about your world is how dragons aren't actually the top of the food chain - you have these other predators that can be a danger to them. I think it adds a lot of realism and is really interesting.
I think you could tone down the "this is ridiculous" factor of Zoltar's reaction to Hisster's idea. Mostly because this is actually something that could go really, seriously wrong, and Hisster has has the power to try it anyway. Making it out to be ridiculous minimizes the severity of the consequences if this goes south, and since I believe this will be one of the major points of tension, we need to believe that it's serious. Having Zoltar's reaction be more along the lines of horrified than "this is stupid" will help with that. (Unless your point is for him to have a rude awakening as to just how bad of an idea this is).
Again, since both of them know this, that sentence doesn't feel like something they would actually say. It would feel more natural for Zoltar to say something like "But you know they're despicable! Just look at what they did..."
And I think I don't have much more to say! I'm not sure if I'll get to your last chapter before the end of Review Day, since I have some other things to review, but I'll definitely come back for it eventually!
Thank you. It's great to hear that this draft is better than the last one. I've made a few changes to the plot and it feels a lot smoother to write. I agree about making Zoltar feel more serious. That makes sense.

Thanks again.
Greetings for the third time now!
Like the other chapters, this was quite short but pleasant to read nonetheless. You do a decent job of establishing the situation for our characters three years later, though it would've been nice to delve a bit more into how Zoltar is coping with his grief and trauma from losing so much.
Hisser doesn't seem to have changed much based on what little we knew of his character at the beginning other than seemingly becoming more harsh, which is kinda understandable considering what he and the other surviving dragons went through three years ago.
That's all I've got for this chapter.
Keep writing!