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E - Everyone

The Quest for Fire Book Two ~ Frozen Past Chapter 13

by felistia


The heavy creak of the cell door opening broke through Zoltar's thoughts. A blade of bright silver light cut through the dark room, illuminating the fine crystal tendrils creeping over the brick walls. The figure of an ice talon guard stepped through the door and tossed a plate of meat onto the door, the metal clanging as it hit the frozen bricks.

"There's your food, shadow talon," the guard growled mockingly, "Hope you enjoy it. It's one of the last meals you'll get ever." He cackled unpleasantly as he left, slamming the door behind him. The key clicked heavily in the lock and the clacking of the guard's foot steps faded into the distance.

"Creep," Zoltar spat in disgust as he walked over to pick up the plate the guard had left. A chunk of raw meat lay on the dish alongside a curved piece of ivory white tusk that Zoltar recognized as a mammoth horn, no wonder the mammoths had cowered when he and the ice talon soldiers had flown over them.

"Here," Zoltar offered, placing the ruby red meat down in front of Felistia, "I want you to eat first."

Felistia opened her yellow orb eyes and smiled, " Thanks Zoltar. That's sweet of you, but I'm feeling fine, maybe a bit tired, but fine. You can stop worrying about me. You really should be concerned for yourself. I mean you only have five more days left before..." she trailed off.

Zoltar shrugged. He didn't really know how to feel about that. He'd been so busy thinking about escape plans all night that he hadn't really thought about the fact that he was going to die in five days time if they didn't get out. It was like part of him knew that he was going to escape, but deep down he still wasn't so sure. He hadn't come up with a single good plan. Digging wasn't going to work. The floor was solid stone and there was only one window in the room it was blocked with thick steel bars.

Zoltar sighed. He'd have to keep thinking and hope that a plan would come to him. His and Felistia's lives depended on it. He hoped to ask Felistia about the escape today. He hadn't been able to ask her last night since she'd fallen fast asleep after putting the herbs on her wound. Zoltar knew it would be better if she was well before their escape, so he hadn't woken her. Now that she was awake though, he was going to ask if she had any ideas about the escape.  After all she'd grown up in the palace, so she should know it from top to bottom.

"Felistia?," Zoltar started, walking up to the eating ice talon, "Have you had any ideas on how to escape this place?"

Felistia looked up from her food, swallowing her mouthful, "Well nothing that's of much use to us. The window's to small to get out of and the walls and floor are solid rock. We could try the door, but how'd we open it with out a key?" Frustration spread over her face and she growled, "If you could just get me out of this stupid prison cell, I'd be able to get us out, but these cells are new, so I don't have any special tricks for getting out."

Zoltar nodded, slightly disappointed that Felistia hadn't any ideas, but he'd expected it.

"Okay then," he responded walking back of to the window, "Just keep thinking."

Soon a scarlet evening spread over the land and the golden sun disappeared below the far off mountain peaks, shedding its last dying rays over the shimmering ice. The sky slowly faded from a brilliant pink to a frozen violet and early stars started to twinkle into view like pearls against the deep blue sea. The silver moon rose up the cobalt night sky, casting a square rod of gleaming light across Zoltar's snout as he cast a sorrowful glance out the window.

He had less than five days left and time was running out fast. He could feel the warm fire inside him fading and every minute the air seemed to be getting colder. He'd spent the whole day breathing small blasts of fire onto his tail case in the hopes of melting the lock off. With it free he'd be able use his poison to quickly melt the thick steel locks on the cell door, but progress was slow and time was short. He was only halfway through and each hour his fire's heat was growing weaker.

Sighing, he continued to blow small fingers of glowing orange flame upon the metal casing wrapped around his tail, the gleaming light of the fire dancing with the milky rays of the moon streaming through the window in a shimmering ballet of fire and ice.

Felistia's soft snores floated gently through the still night air like ocean waves lapping at a sandy shore, her sides rising and falling rhythmically as she slept. The gash on her flank had clotted and was starting to heal nicely, much to Zoltar's relief.

In the distance, Zoltar could hear the lonely howls of the drilver dragons, their melodic calls deceivingly soft in the needle sharp night air. A cold shiver ran down Zoltar's spine like claws scrabbling against a cliff face. The drilvers were far from the gentle creatures their song portrayed them as. They were savage pack animals that hunted their prey like the giant wolves of the south. The last thing you wanted was to be lost in a snow storm with those things on your tail. They'd rip you limb from limb.

Zoltar hissed a low snarl of warning as another chilling howl cut through the night like talons cutting through ice. He knew though that as long as they were inside, the drilvers wouldn't be able to harm them. But inside wasn't much safer. It was only a matter of time before he died of cold and Felistia's fate wasn't going to be much better. They had to get out of here as soon as possible.

...

Zoltar woke with a start as the thin fingers of an early dawn crept through the cell window, casting golden light over his obsidian black scales.

How long had he been asleep for? He remembered hearing the drilver dragons, but it all went blank after that. Maybe he'd simply blacked out. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in three days and it was starting to wear on him. He flicked his tail around to inspect his night's work. The metal lock on his tail was deformed and had bubbled where the fire had met the metal. The lock holding the two peices of metal around his tail was almost off and looked like a few more blasts of fire would finish the job.

Zoltar's heart raced with anticipation. They'd be able to get out tonight as soon as most of the palace went to sleep. They might even be able to steal the ice diamond. He knew that his plan at the moment was quite sketchy, but they didn't have anymore time to think it over. Tonight was the night. There was only one thing left to do. He needed to tell Felistia about the ice diamond. He still hadn't told her as he wasn't sure how she'd react. Before he'd be afraid that she'd warn the ice talons, but now that he'd learned of her history, he wasn't so sure she'd side with her kind.

"Felistia." Zoltar nudged the sleeping ice talon gently on the wing, "Please wake up."

Felistia inhaled sharply as her glittering eyes flickered open, "Yes?" She yawned sleepily, sitting up with her slender tail lying over her talons like a sleeping snake.

Felistia?" Zoltar probed cautiously, not wanting to upset her in any way, "I kind of have something to confess to you. I never told you why I needed to go into the ice talon kingdom," Zoltar chuckled nervously. "Well, funny thing is that I was kind of....going to steal the ice diamond. You're not mad...right?"

A look of confusion flashed across Felistia's face, "Why would I be mad?"

"Well, I thought since the ice talon's were your tribe that you'd side with them...and try to stop me from stealing the diamond," Zoltar explained, slightly taken aback at how unconcerned Felistia was to the fact that he was going to try and steal a gem that had been in the royal family for decades.

"On the contra, I'm actually quite the opposite." Felistia angrily bared her sparkling white teeth making Zoltar flinch involuntarily, "I. Hate. Shiler. So knowing that you're going to try to take something she holds dear, well it makes me feel wonderful. Why, I'll even help you steal it."

"But it's not just Shiler's jewel. If you took the throne from her, the jewel would be yours," Zoltar questioned, while asking himself why he was trying to change her mind when she agreed with him.

"I don't care about some stone. It's just a rock. I care much more about helping you. If you need it than you have my permission to take it." She smiled at him.

Zoltar breathed a deep sigh of relief. He'd been so sure that Felistia was going to be angry, so it was a great relief knowing that she was going to help him steal the ice diamond. He'd planned to do it in secret while Felistia was distracted, but when they'd been caught, he'd known that he'd have to tell her. He wouldn't have been able to sneak off by himself while escaping this place.

"That's great," Zoltar exclaimed happily as he whipped his tail around to show Felistia his handy work.

Felistia gasped and took his tail in her paws, "When did you do this?" Her voice carried a note of awe.

"Last night, while you were asleep. I spent the whole night trying to melt it. I think a few more blasts of fire should finish the job," Zoltar explained excitedly. It was great knowing that Felistia liked his work.

"So what's the plan?" Felistia asked inquisitively, pushing his tail away. When Zoltar didn't respond immediately, a hint of irritation crossed her face and she whined, "Don't tell me you got me all excited for nothing."

Rolling his eyes in amusement, Zoltar laughed and said, "Of cause I have a plan, but we have to wait until tonight."

"Oh. Great," Felistia smiled and edged closer to Zoltar, touching her wing to his, "So tell me this plan of yours."

"Well," Zoltar began, enjoying the brush of Felistia's silver scales against his wing, "When this casing is off, I will be able to melt our chains and the door locks. I'll knock out the guard behind the door and then we'll make our way to the throne room. There I'll steal the diamond. Then we must find our way out and make a break for the border," Zoltar explained enthusiastically, "I know it's a bit sketchy, but it's the best I have at the moment."

"That's good enough for me," Felistia twined her tail with his, her pearl white scales gleaming against his crystal black ones, "and I know the way around the palace, so we can adapt it as we go. In the mean time you should get some rest," She curled up next to him and said, "I'll keep watch. You need a good sleep." She smiled as he lay down beside her and drift off to sleep.


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Sun May 29, 2016 9:30 pm
Virgil wrote a review...



This is Yams here for a third review!

I don't really get how Zoltar is so calm about dying in less than a week? It just doesn't seem very believable to me that he's relaxed in this situation that he's going to die. Maybe if you had him fully realize that he would die and have a major flip-out about it after he starts to think about it more? This really just didn't seem very realistic that anyone could stay calm in this sort of situation.

"There's your food, shadow talon," the guard growled mockingly, "Hope you enjoy it. It's one of the last meals you'll get ever." He cackled unpleasantly as he left, slamming the door behind him. The key clicked heavily in the lock and the clacking of the guard's foot steps faded into the distance.


The "you'll get ever" feels awkward and I feel like you could be fine with "one of the last meals you'll get" instead.

"Creep," Zoltar spat in disgust as he walked over to pick up the plate the guard had left.


This feels weird to call him "Creep" as the guard didn't really do anything creepy or anything of the sort, rather being a jerk.

It also seems kind of odd that they would be fed semi-well when they're being locked up when it would be more torturing when they're barely fed or even the food is left outside the cell to taunt them.

Take this with a grain of salt and have a great day!




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Sun May 29, 2016 9:22 pm
Carlito wrote a review...



Hello again! :D

"Creep," Zoltar spat in disgust as he walked over to pick up the plate the guard had left.

I rather liked this reaction from Zoltar and that he didn't let what the guard said get to him. Stay strong Zoltar! :)

Zoltar shrugged. He didn't really know how to feel about that. He'd been so busy thinking about escape plans all night that he hadn't really thought about the fact that he was going to die in five days time if they didn't get out. It was like part of him knew that he was going to escape, but deep down he still wasn't so sure. He hadn't come up with a single good plan. Digging wasn't going to work. The floor was solid stone and there was only one window in the room it was blocked with thick steel bars.

And great processing here! (Oh boy, I hope I can come up with something useful to say in this review :P)

Zoltar sighed. He'd have to keep thinking and hope that a plan would come to him. His and Felistia's lives depended on it.

Now he stayed up thinking about it all night, but has he tried consulting with Felistia? She used to live here? If anyone would know the weaknesses of this place or potential ways to escape, wouldn't it be her? I feel like she's his best asset in this situation.

Soon a scarlet evening spread over the land and the golden sun disappeared below the far off mountain peaks, shedding its last dying rays over the shimmering ice. The sky slowly faded from a brilliant pink to a frozen violet and early stars started to twinkle into view like pearls against the deep blue sea. The silver moon rose up the cobalt night sky, casting a square rod of gleaming light across Zoltar's snout as he cast a sorrowful glance out the window.

And bam with the beautiful descriptions again :D

He'd spent the whole day breathing small blasts of fire onto his tail case in the hopes of freeing it.

And how would breathing fire onto it help? What's he trying to do exactly? And does breathing fire deplete the fire inside of him quicker or does that not matter?

and it was starting to ware on him.

"starting to wear"

He flicked his tail around to inspect his night's work. The metal around the tail was deformed and had bubbled where the fire had met the metal. The lock holding the two peices of metal around his tail was almost off and looked like a few more blasts of fire would finish the job.

And his fire isn't damaging his tail because he's a shadow talon and they're able to withstand fire? Or how?

Zoltar's heart raced with anticipation. They'd be able to get out tonight as soon as most of the palace went to sleep. They might even be able to steal the ice diamond.

I really want to know what his plan is and how he's thinking he'll be able to do this.

Zoltar had seen the gem inside the queen's throne room.

You don't need to re-state this because we just saw this happen. It was nice and dramatic so I don't think your reader will forget that moment :)

He still hadn't told Felistia as he wasn't sure how she'd react. Before he'd be afraid that she'd warn the ice talons, but now that he'd learned of her history, he wasn't so sure she'd side with her kind.

I liked this little bit of processing but I want a bit more. What is he afraid will happen when he tells her? How is he afraid she'll react? How likely does he think that fear is of actually happening?

Felistia?" Zoltar probed cautiously, not wanting to upset her in any way, "I kind of have something to confess to you. I never told you why I needed to go into the ice talon kingdom," Zoltar chuckled nervously. "Well, funny thing is that I was kind of....going to steal the ice diamond. You're not mad...right?"

"Why would I be mad? On the contra, I'm actually quite the opposite." Felistia angrily bared her sparkling white teeth making Zoltar flinch involuntarily, "I. Hate. Shiler. So knowing that you're going to try to take something she holds dear, well it makes me feel wonderful. Why, I'll even help you steal it."

I feel like this conversation needs to be a bit slower and more dramatic. He was so worried about how she would react and it gets brushed over so easily. It might make sense for him to bring this up after she tells him about her story and her connection to the queen. Then they could get it all out there right away. I guess it would also make sense for him to wait until now because he's worried about it, but it's an option as well :)

I feel like their plan is super shaky. I want Felistia to be involved in the plan making process because like I said before, she used to live here, and she knows this castle. She should know the weak spots and what kinds of defenses could be coming up against them. This plan seems doomed to fail and I feel like they need more planning and more thought behind it. But we'll see I guess :)

See you soon! Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing! :D




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Sun May 01, 2016 2:02 am
HolographicLadybug wrote a review...



[Insert greeting here]

Ah, I see that you have some dungeon description now. Still, you should have included them earlier.

I'm not 100% sure how to feel about how non-chalant Zoltar is about dying in five freaking days!!!!!!!!! He's pretty relaxed about it and I'm not quite sure if that's the most natural reaction for someone to have. I mean, he's going to die in five freakin' days and there's no hope of escaping!!!!! wouldn't he be somewhat worried or anxious? Even a little?

His and Felistia's like depended on it.

I think that you mean 'life'.

I really liked the part where Zoltar called that guard a creep. He's just so nasty and rude. (The guard, not Zoltar) :P The only recommendation I can give you for that bit is give the guard an appearance. I'm not saying that you have to dwell on him for long (it would be best if you kept it short and sweet because he's not an important character; around a sentence will do), just a bit to make him seem creepier. Just a suggestion, though.

(Short review, ugh) That's it from me! Naturally, if you have questions, ask away. Now, stay awesome and keep writing!
~HolographicLadybug
:D Semi-awesome review from a half-awesome reviewer for an awesome work by a super awesome writer. :D





There's a Brazilian things you could write about. You just gotta pick Juan.
— Hattable