The next morning, Zoltar woke up bright and early. The sun had just risen above the horizon. Its scarlet flames were reflected in the ocean like a mirror. The light licked the island, flooding it in a sea of ambers and crimsons, the chirping of birds and other forest creatures echoing through the forest below. Sunlight was streaming through the cave entrance lighting up the copper and bronze hues in crack riddled walls. He could smell the fresh earthy scents rising up from the trees beneath the cave. He could also hear Felistia's soft breaths and Shiraku’s steam train snores behind him. He needed to find the tablet. Hisster hadn't allowed him to look at the tablet of stone, so he had to find it before he could carry on with the mission. He glanced at Shiraku and Felistia, making sure they were still sleeping. They couldn't know about this.
Zoltar quietly walked over to the cave entrance, the sun shimmering off his onyx black scales. He took a deep breath, sucking in the fresh morning air, letting it run through his veins. After one more quick glance at Shiraku and Felistia to make sure they were still asleep he stepped up to the opening, his claws on the very edge. He tipped of the edge of the cave. The wind tugged at his tail and whistled through his ears and snout as he plummeted downwards. A carpet of green and yellow rushed up to meet him and at the last second he thrust out his wings, catching the air. His claws skimmed the tree tops scattering bright green leaves and vivid red berries in all directions. The sun was warm on his back as he tilted his wings and soared up above the forest.
'Now to find that carved slab,' he thought, watching a flock of bright red and purple birds dart in and out of the trees below him. 'I have to find it or I won't know what items to collect for the Riconra.'
'Where could it be?' Zoltar pondered, gliding around a moss covered pillar. He remembered Hisster mentioning that the soldiers were to head to the east of the island. Maybe he'd find clues as to where the tablet was there. Just then a terrifying thought entered his mind. The east side of the island was also where he'd first seen the Exltron. Zoltar shivered as a tingle of fear ran down his spine.
'I'll just have to stay alert and be carful,' he decided, glancing down at the trees. Autumn was on its way. You could see the orange and red slowly creeping over the trees. It was almost unnoticeable from the ground, but at his height it was like looking at a fire sweeping over the forest.
Suddenly a group of bright red and purple birds rushed past him. They were in such a panic they didn’t notice Zoltar soaring towards them and had to swerve to avoid his talons and tail. They soon disappeared behind him. Their calls resonated through his head as he scanned the forest below for what had spooked the birds. He could only see a bunch of crimson and violet feathers sinking beneath the withering leaves.
'It’s not normal for birds to not notice a dragon my size. We do prey upon them after all. Something bigger and scarier must have frightened them.' Zoltar thought as he flew on. His ears were swivelling this way and that trying to pick up any sound coming from the trees beneath him. As he neared the east side of the island the forest became noticeably darker and the trees were twisted into strange shapes as though someone had squeezed them like clay. Zoltar had a strange ominous feeling that he could not explain. It felt like someone was dragging their claws across his stomach over and over again.
Zoltar scanned the forest below for miles, looking for the allusive opening in the trees. Then like a dark, gaping hole into another realm, a clearing appeared. It wasn’t really a clearing, it was more an area of the forest that had been burned away leaving only blackened trees and the stubs of bushes.
Zoltar hovered for a second before folding his wings like a falcon and plummeting downwards. At the last few seconds he snapped open his wings and landed with his claws outstretched onto the branch of a gnarly tree. The branch creaked, threatening to break as he dug his talons into the crumbly black bark. He shifted his weight by spreading his wings and wrapping his tail around the rough bough like a chameleon.
Zoltar peered into the gloomy forest around the clearing. Dark shapes darted through the trees, carefully staying in the shadows. Shining yellow eyes stared out of the trees at him, evil and alive with menace. Zoltar caught the flash of a silver claw as the creatures retreated back into the depths of the woods. A chill ran down his spin. He had to be careful. There was more than the beast out there and a lone dragon was easy prey.
Silently, Zoltar glided gently down to the ground. The dirt was gritty under his paws and black soot speckled the earth. A light breeze was blowing, tossing the charred specks against his scales and around his head.
Zoltar cautiously crept towards the forest, every muscle in his body poised to strike. His claws scraped the dry earth, leaving deep, trailing trenches in the sand. He paused on the edge of the trees, their trunks towering above him. His eyes darted from shadow to shadow, looking into the forests inky depts. Tall, dark trees stood in front of him, blotting out the sunlight. Small rods of light peeked through the branches, lighting up small patches of the leaf covered ground. Strange moaning bird calls echoed through the misty morning air. The air was thick with the smell of decomposing leaves and moss.
Creeping into the trees, Zoltar's ears strained for the slightest sign of danger. He carefully placed his paws in front of him, taking great care not the make a noise. He sniffed the air trying to pick up a faint scent of shadow talon, but his snout was flooded with other smells, ripe, oaky nuts, large, mounds of red and brown mushrooms and the wet, mossy scent wafting from the trees themselves.
He slowly inched further into the dim wood. The trees creaked as the wind brushed through the ancient boughs. The leaves rustled overhead like rain on a wooden roof. Leaves floated through the air, before dropping limply back down onto the forest floor. The shadows danced over the ground as Zoltar padded through the undergrowth, his paws make no sound.
Zoltar smelt the air again, taking in all the scents around him and somewhere in that jumble there was the faint whiff of shadow talon. It seemed to be coming from further inside the forest.
Being careful not to make a noise, Zoltar edged towards the scent. His ears were pricked, trying to pick up the slightest sound coming from within the woods. The smell was getting stronger, almost pungent in the damp air.
Suddenly a twig snapped somewhere behind him. He whipped his head round, his amethyst eyes scanning the shadows for signs of movement. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his throat, but all was silent apart from his heart pounding in his ears. After a few more glances in the direction of the sound Zoltar went on his way, more alert that ever.
The forest was getting denser all around him and the smell was almost overpowering. It reeked of decaying and rotting meat. He passed through a clump of spiky bushes and almost tripped on a rib cage protruding from the earth. Zoltar jumped back in horror. All around him lay the remains of what must have been shadow talons, their distinct metal armour dented and twisted. The three dragons were almost unrecognizable under the cloud of black flies swarming over them and the stench coming from them was unbearably strong.
“Augh,” Zoltar gagged, looking away from the diseased carcasses. This was almost more than he could stomach.
Zoltar forced himself to look back at the carnage. There were three shadow talons lying about four meters from each other. None of them seemed to have the rock slab he was looking for. Zoltar tried not to think about their last moments alive. Their jaws were open in an eternal scream of terror. Many of their bones were snapped or had vicious bite marks chipped into them.
Zoltar breathed a shaky breath, his thoughts running back to about a month ago when he was on the island. He didn’t know how the howler dragons were going to scare the beast away or how trustworthy they were, but they didn't get the Ruby of Fire then they definitely wouldn't fight the Exltron. The shadow talons needed a home and if they couldn't get the island then the only other alternative for another home was war with the moon talons and that could be catastrophic for both sides. Zoltar turned to go back to the clearing.
'Wait a second!' Zoltar thought, looking back at the shadow talons. There were only three, Hisster had sent four to the island.
Suddenly there was a crash from behind him and something leapt onto his back, knocking him to the ground.
“Don’t move,” the something hissed, holding him against the damp, slimy leaves covering the forest floor.
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Hello again!
Another exciting development in Zoltar's adventures!
There was so much information when the steps Zoltar must take to get this Ruby were originally spelled out, I've forgotten them all. I'm assuming finding this tablet is the first step, but I can't remember why its important. You don't need to go into a ton of detail, but I would remind your reader what this tablet is and why it's important.
Also, why can't Shiraku and Felistia know about his plans? I think it's interesting that up until now the dragons that have tried to achieve this mission have gone out in teams and Zoltar thinks he can do it all alone. Why does he trust the other dragons enough to share a sleeping space with them, but not enough to tell them what he's doing?
How is he so sure he's even close to being in the right place? How does he know there will be clues?
Also, his thoughts don't do much for me here. It feels like you're just trying to break up the description and the prose, which I appreciate, but I think the thoughts feel a bit awkward. It's hard with third person stories when the MC is alone to break things up.
I think you can go a little easy on the thoughts and try to be really deliberate with them. Like use thoughts to give us information you couldn't otherwise give us in the regular prose, like personality. To me, these thoughts fall a little flat because they don't show any personality and they're just blanket statements.
I think this is such an interesting fantasy world for many reasons, but one being that usually dragons are the top of the food chain. They're usually the biggest and scariest things on the block (at least in my limited fantasy experience :p). I think it's super interesting that in this world, they're lower on the food chain and there are real dangers even to them.
Is there a reason why he chose this dark and scary place as a good place to land? What does he think he'll find here and why? Or what is his purpose for landing here?
Why is he trying to smell dragons? Is that out of fear of attack or something else?
You do a really, really nice job of building suspense in your writing. Your prose and description are so good it really transports me to this setting and I feel like I'm there with Zoltar. This was great. You didn't overdo his feelings and his reactions to this new scary thing, but you definitely amped up the intensity level.
Why does he assume they're shadow talons? Is it the size of the bones? Is it because he's in the place he assumes this tablet is and that's where he assumes the last bunch of warriors wen to die?
Huh? What awful food? Why does he have to eat it? And why is bad food keeping him from throwing up?
Why is war the only other alternative? Who would the war be between and what would that accomplish in relation to the larger goal of keeping safe from this monster thing?
Again with the cliffhangers!! I'll be seeing you soon
Okay, overall the writing is very good. I mentioned this earlier and in other reviews, but your descriptions are definitely your strength and I don't think that's news to you.
With the describing, don't forget to explain within the describing. Remember that your readers don't have a window into your head and we're new to this world. I want to know more about why things are the way they are, but more importantly why Zoltar does the things he does and why he thinks or assumes what he thinks and assumes. I think I alluded to this in previous comments. I'm glad Zoltar is active and does stuff, but I want to know and understand why.
I'll leave things there for now and skip on over to the next chapter because of this cliffhanger you left me with :p Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing!
Thank you so much for the review. I have fixed a lot of the mistakes and a few of them will be answered in the next few chapters.
Hello felistia!
Wait... Is this a part of the shadow talon's training? They eat disgusting foods so that they can practice not throwing up? Well that's interesting.
When Zoltar finds the carcasses of the dragons, I certainly did not assume that they were the same dragons that Hisster had sent on the journey. It seems to me like the dragons had left to soon ago to have decayed into skeletons already. I'd like to know how Zoltar knew that they were shadow talons and how he knew they were the same dragons Hisster had sent. Maybe he sees a special emblem on their armor?
You also should make sure that the motives of your MC are as clear to the reader as possible. I know that the howler dragon king had rattled off what the quest would entail, but that was several chapters ago and I've already forgotten most of it. It'd be nice if we could hear Zoltar's thoughts as he remembered each step in the quest. I hadn't realized that he was looking for a tablet until he actually started thinking about looking for it.
Other than that, this is super exciting! I'm guessing that the "someone" that hit him is the fourth shadow talon that somehow survived, and if so, that'll be very interesting for Zoltar to have a fellow shadow talon soldier ally.
Awesome cliffhanger.
Great job, felistia! I'll see you next chapter!
Thank you for another great review and I will fix the problems as soon as possible.
Wow, this is one cool chapter (And I was wrong, Zoltar didn't team up with Felistia and Shikaru...but will he?...hmmm)

Your descriptions were amazing, (I say this too much right?) Especially the one about the dead dragons, I was eating a fresh banana when I was reading it. And ultimately I lost my appetite.
And that's good; you managed to make your descriptions so good that it made it all seemed real. Even the smallest details
Oh, and great cliffhanger; I can't wait to find out who this 'something' really is?
I have a few guesses.
Anyway I'l moving on to the next chapter, keep writing and good luck!!!!
Hey, I'm here to review as requested!
Nitpicks.
Spoiler
Comma after 'morning'. Granted, you actually can do without it, but decide whether you want to have a break or not after 'morning'.
I like the personification of light and the overall description. Sometimes descriptions with personification, or using descriptive words that evoke emotions are the best ones ever. Try not to describe too objectively, and align it with the protagonist's current emotion.
Do not pluralized 'smell' in this one since you're just mentioning an earthy smell. Often, even if there are many smells, they are combined together, and become the smell we smell. You get me? >.>
Hmm. This thought doesn't say much, actually. You can do without it - I mean, try to make the thought more natural by telling us instead. I know, I know, telling is bad, but when describing your character, telling us their thoughts won't do you any harm since it's basically just a transition from thought to narrative. Example:
'overpowering'.
'trustworthy'.
Check you dialogue tag. Some of them, at the end, have two apostrophes like this one. Maintain the consistency - one apostrophes for thoughts, two for dialogues.
Anyway, to the plot.
Wow! Just wow! That twist! So we kinda expected the shadows talons are dead - they haven't appeared for, like, months? It's only logical the only reason they haven't is because they can't, and why the can't? It's answered in this chapter. They're dead. You've described their state pretty nicely, but I want more. I want more goriness in it - I want to truly feel like I'm disgusted or feared by their dead states. I've done a bit of looking for the series you're basing this on, and they're pretty much children/teenagers series, right? If so, you might want to emulate that, and aim this fanfiction to children/teenagers. If that's the case, forget me asking for more goriness. That would be unfitting for your targeted audience.
I suspect the one who hits him is the fourth shadow talon, and if this is true and he's still alive, it only means two things to me: 1) he survived the massacre someone inflicted on the others or 2) there was nothing to survive against, and he just killed the others. I'm inclined to think it's the second scenario, since he doesn't come back after months, which means something fishy must've happened here. Either way, kudos for surprising us with this twist. Can't wait to see what happens to Zoltar after this.
Talking about Zoltar, him hiding his search for the tablet from Felistia and Shiraku is realistic. Hear me. Realistic. The other two are strangers to him no matter how nice they are to him. He doesn't trust them yet because he knows nothing about them, and they've done nothing enough to gain his trust. This is what I expect for Felistia. Maybe it speaks volume about their personalities - Felistia is more trusting and kinder while Zoltar is more doubtful and careful. I hope you'd make it clear about this.
Other than that, I can't find any errors plot-wise. I'm just expecting other beasts would do harm on Zoltar - except for the seemingly shadow talon - to show how dangerous this island is. Keep up the good job!
Thank you so much for the review. I am glad that you liked the chapter.
Hola felistia =) FallWolf here to once more give you some tips and tricks for your writing.
Once again you have written a very good chapter that I can enjoy reading and reviewing =) I especially like the beginning, when Zoltar wakes up. Very nice sunrise scene (I love sunrise or sunset scenes) though there is two things that interrupt the flow of this paragraph.
"Its light licked the island, flooding it in a sea of ambers and crimsons." first, you used "Its" at the beginning of the last sentence as well, so this seems a bit monotonous. That, however, is an easy fix.
"The chirping of birds and other forest creatures echoing through the forest below." This sentence is not complete. I think you meant to use a comma at the beginning, but accidentally put a period. Once again, a very easy fix.
There are, as always, a couple grammatical errors. The largest ones are (drum-roll please) "he dug his talons into the crumble black bark." I think you mean to say "crumbling black bark." Also, "There was more than the beast out there" I think you meant to say "was more than one beast" instead of "was more than the beast." Additionally, "every muscle in his body posed to strike" "posed" would be batter as "poised."
Your story is getting more interesting the farther in I read, and it's great fun to peruse this intriguing tale =)
Don't stop writing!
Thank you for the review. I will fix it as soon as I have finished reading your latest work.
All fixed.
Yay! Thks =)
Hi felistia
I am still reading your chapters; this one is great, just like the others.
The only thing I have to mention for this one is the over use of Zoltars name. It would probably benefit from replacing a few more of them with ‘he’. Alternatively joining action phrases like this
'He whipped his head round, his amethyst eyes scanning the shadows for signs of movement.'
and making this
'whiping his head round, Zoltars amethyst eyes scaned the shadows for signs of movement.'
Another example
Zoltar crept into the trees, his ears straining for the slightest sign of danger.
Becomes
Creeping through the trees, his ears strained for the slightest sign of danger.
Once you get the hang of writing sentences like this it becomes easy but can take a while to do intuitively. It cuts one noun or pronoun out of sentence fixing the problem, often found in action scenes, where the chapter is all about what ‘he’ did. I might have already showed you this technique so sorry if it is a repeat.
Thank you for the review. I will change it when I get a chance.
Hello again!
I don't think that I can mention how well your use of description is enough without it getting too repetitive.
Very awesome. I love how you're moving your story further, making it more exiting with every chapter.
I loved this:
'He could also hear Felistia's soft breaths and Tsunami's steam train snores behind him.'
It was really funny and I even giggled a little. Well done!
But, this is a review. Yet again, that's what I'm here for.
<'I need to find that tablet and I can't let them know about,' Zoltar thought as he strode over to the cave entrance, the sun shimmering off his onyx black scales.>
Maybe at the end of your thought, you probably forgot to write 'it'.
I also really love 'onyx black scales'!
'Then like a dark, gaping hole into another realm a clearing appeared.'
You should have a comma after 'realm'.
<'Now to find that piece of paper,' he thought, watching a flock of bright red and purple birds dart in and out of the trees below him.
'Where could it be?' Zoltar pondered, gliding around a moss covered pillar.>
There might not need to be a new paragraph here. But I guess that the paragraph's ok. Just a recommendation.
I guess that's really all I need to say. Great job. I hope I was useful.
-Holographic Ladybug
Hello!
) Now, for the review...

Fantastic job, and keep writing!

This is a really good chapter! I like how you advance the plot, instead of just holding forever on details or certain events (I have a problem with doing that!
I'm a bit confused on how this happened - wasn't he still in the cave with felistia and everyone else when he woke up? Maybe, if he woke up before everyone else, you could say something about him looking back at them, "snoring softly" or something. Then say something about how Zoltar was thankful for their help, but he still needed to continue his journey. Or something...
Nothing really to quote, but I encourage you to switch from Zoltar, to saying he (not all of the time, juts replace a few of them). As long as you introduce the character the first time in each paragraph, you don't have to mention his name again, unless another character is introduced.
Other than that, this was great! Wonderful plot twist at the end, I didn't think any of them would've survived!!
~Snazzy
Stay awesome!
Thank you yet again for another review. It is nice to know someone is following my story. Thanks for the advice, I have applied it and it looks much better.
Any time!
