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Broken Dreams

by TheRebel2007


Uh, can someone tell me if it's possible to move published works from one folder to another, it will be really nice 

I am scanning through Google Drive,
Rummaging for our memories at midnight,
It’s already one past fifty-five -
My broken dreams tell me it’s been alright.

I just found a video from a year ago -
Celebrating your birthday by the streetlight;
Missing your smiling cheeks and eyes aglow -
My broken dreams tell me it’s alright.

I am chattering away on my keyboard,
As everyone’s sleeping sound and tight;
All the love poems I silently hoard -
My broken dreams tell me it’ll be alright.

I look back on the days left behind,
When I cried and nearly jumped off from a height,
‘Coz I missed your words, loving and kind -
My broken dreams tell me it’s not been alright.

I blame none for my misfortune and mistakes,
I should’ve known life isn’t Snow White;
But my love for you is neither shallow nor fake -
My broken dreams tell me it’s not alright.

Alas! Fare ye well! I’ll love you forever!
I don’t care whatever is wrong or right!
I might cry, I might die, but I’ll never waver
Even if my dreams tell me it’ll not be alright!


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User avatar
80 Reviews

Points: 994
Reviews: 80

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Sat Feb 17, 2024 1:58 am
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Ley wrote a review...



Hello, Ley here to leave a review on this awesome work! I will be using my own review method today: Ley's Potato Chips Version! :D I'm trying out this review method in attempt to leave more enjoyable reviews. Let's get started and cut these potatoes, shall we? :3

Image



Turning on the Fryer!

My first impression of this piece was that it was sad, but had loads of emotion piled into it that it was a super enjoyable poem. It was also relatable, which I love to see, and I was able to really feel the narrator's feelings while reading it. I'm glad you categorized it as lyrical, because this is definitely it! :D

Fry Those Potato Slices!

This is by far my favorite stanza!

I look back on the days left behind,
When I cried and nearly jumped off from a height,
‘Coz I missed your words, loving and kind -
My broken dreams tell me it’s not been alright.


This was the turning point in the piece, where you flipped the switch and changed the last line to: My dreams tell me it's not alright. I love hearing both sides, the positive thoughts and the negative thoughts-- you gave the reader more insight on how the narrator actually felt. Great job here!

Add Some Salt!

I don't have any recommendations, because this piece was absolutely perfect in my eyes! You had everything that I look for in a poem dissolved into this piece. Not only can I tell you're a skilled writer, but I enjoyed every second of it! The grammar was on point, the formatting was appealing to the eyes, and your descriptions and rhythms were unbeatable.

Enjoy The Crunchy Greatness!

Overall, this was a sad yet insightful lyrical piece about the thoughts as someone goes through heartbreak. I can't wait to read more of your work, especially if it's similar to this!

That's it for now! Enjoy your potato chips! :D

With Love,
Ley :smt023




TheRebel2007 says...


Hey there Ley, thanks for the review! Your review format is definitely super cool, I hope you make great use of it!



User avatar
70 Reviews

Points: 6327
Reviews: 70

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Fri Feb 16, 2024 9:59 pm
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Youbeaucupid wrote a review...



Cupid's Sweetheart Spotlights:


Introduction:


SWOOSH! Greetings, sweetheart! Cupid here, armed with my bow, arrow, and a sprinkle of stardust for an enchanting adventure. Today, I'm diving into the captivating world of reviews with my very own Cupid's Sweetheart Spotlight. It's like the incredible YWS S'more Method, but with a dash of cupid's magic! Let's get flying, shall we?

Fluttering Wings - Initial Impressions:

As I read through this piece, it's like I'm right there with you, reliving those moments of nostalgia and longing. Can you feel it too? The bittersweet tug at our hearts as we scroll through old videos, celebrating birthdays under the soft glow of streetlights. It's a melancholy dance, my friend, but one I'm grateful to share with you.

Arrow Adjustments - Love Crafting Suggestions:

I couldn't help but think, what if we dove even deeper into those emotions? What if we let the words spill out like secrets in the dead of night? Maybe a touch more introspection, a sprinkle of raw honesty – that's all it would take to elevate this journey to new heights. But hey, you know me, always chasing that next burst of inspiration! :D

Golden Harp Strumming - Heavenly Highlights:

Ah, but amidst the melancholy, there's beauty too, isn't there? Those moments of warmth and connection, illuminated by the soft glow of memory. It's like our own private oasis in the desert of broken dreams – a reminder that even in darkness, there's light to be found! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Cherished Verses - Cupid's Favorite Lines:

"I just found a video from a year ago - Celebrating your birthday by the streetlight;"


🌟 This line, oh, it's like stepping back in time to that magical moment under the soft glow of streetlights. Can't you just picture it? The laughter, the warmth, the shared memories – it's a scene straight out of a romance movie!

"I might cry, I might die, but I’ll never waver Even if my dreams tell me it’ll not be alright!"


💔 Ah, the raw emotion in these words cuts straight to the core. It's a declaration of love in the face of uncertainty, a testament to the strength of the human spirit. No matter what lies ahead, this steadfast resolve to hold onto love – it's nothing short of inspiring!

Final Whispers - Closing Thoughts:

As we bid farewell to the echoes of memory, let us carry with us the enduring spirit of resilience and hope. Though the journey through broken dreams may be fraught with shadows, it is in these moments of vulnerability that we find the strength to carry on. So here's to embracing the bittersweet symphony of life, to cherishing the memories that shape us, and to finding solace in the knowledge that, no matter what trials may come our way, we are never truly alone.

Sending you all my love and heart-shaped arrows, Cupid! 💘




TheRebel2007 says...


Thanks for your lovely review, Cupid! :p




how can i live laugh love in these conditions
— Orion42