Hello TheRebel2007,
I hope this review reaches you well.
Roses
The poem is like getting a peak into a person’s thoughts at night. The topics wander from one thing to the next in seemingly no order. It goes from castles and kings, to wars, and then to Greek gods and philosophy. Then there is the sleepless nights part, I love how the narrator is just asking questions and wondering. Lastly there was the ending, the final conclusion,
Sleepless nights - there's no time for thoughts deep -
Sleepless nights - for I need to go to sleep...
I’d like to think that the narrator is telling their brain to just be quiet.
Buds
I have just a few suggestions to improve your poem:
From the depths of sea - drowned,
Could be changed to: from the depths of the sea - drowned.
Sleepless nights - I love staring at maps,
In the context of the previous lines, this one seemed very out of place.
The most major problem I found with your poem is that a lot of the rhymes seemed forced. It’s like you picked a rhyming word first then wrote the line to fit it. Along with this, some of the rhymes only rhyme when you say the word just the right way. So it doesn’t flow naturally. However I will be honest with you, I do the same thing all the time. But I think with more practice with rhymes, it will become easier to do so.
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Overall this was a cool poem! The formatting is very different from anything I’ve seen before, which I found pretty neat. I hope that this review was helpful, if you have any questions feel free to ask. Keep on writing and have a great rest of your day!
- Stellarjay
Points: 6713
Reviews: 130
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