To Tithonus

by TheRebel2007

Published August 25, 2025

E - Everyone

In Poetry

The saplings grow, the saplings grow and bloom,

Mine light peeps at the womb of the earth

Where Man finds feed and rests -- and sleeps --

And another seed bursts from his heart.

Me accursed by my nature

To lust and rise: as quotidian qualms

Foresay at the quiet limit of the world,

Still rosy I beside thy brooding visage,

In the ever-shining spaces of the East,

Our silver chambers, and goady halls of morn.



Alas! for this lusty dame, once a maiden --

So glorious in her beauty and her choice,

Who plucketh thee as her chosen, as it seem'd

That this handsome of Ilion must be a God!

I beg'd the All-Father,

When didst thou durst for immortality, asking with a smile,

Like litigant lasses, who care not how they receive.

But the wronging Fates' insidious threads'd done their deed

And wrinkled and marr'd and soil'd thee,

Leaving a shell of thy self, shamed

To dwell in presence of thy foolish love,

Foolish Man beside foolish God,

And all I was, heartbroken. Render'd in love,

My haughty nature sealed thee here; even now,

Close over me, my prodigies -- the stars --

Watch me weep with wistful eyes, which fears

To hear thee. Thou art mine, shan't pacts

'Twixt Lovers be rescinded in any way;

Thou aren’t Man, thou art my reverence --

And to let thee leave would be sacrilege

Where I won't pause, as is meet for thee.



The nebulae cleave and apart; there, see,

A glimpse of thy home where thou wert born.

Once more, an old mysterious glimmer kills

The peace of my eyelids, and as my shoulders shudder

And bosom beating with a heart so crude,

My cheeks lace with tears watching ruins of Ilion

Stretch out in my shadows so sensual to thine,

Ere they remind the stars of Troy's dreams;

For I love thee, yearning for thy peace and prize,

And I'd rather loosen and shake Godhood's chains,

Than let thee slake into ashes left by fire.



Lo! ever thus my love growest dutiful

In defiance, 'fore my lips love-stricken

Departest, and my tears are on thy cheek.



Why dost thou fear my beauty and tears,

Lamenting days far-off as lost juvenescent,

That in days to come by, I'd care for you not?

I ought not, for thou art to me, still mine.



Nay, I say, nay! with my whole heart

In days far-off, I loved thine eyes,

I loved thy watch -- as I too did watch --

The limpid grace of thy round pupils; saw

Thy rosy lips cradle a heart-rending smile;

Constant they are, thy eyes, thy heart and all

Still livid as thou live thy blessed curse,

With majesty and mettle, while I lay,

Mouth, foreheads, eyelids kissing thine warm

With kisses sweeter than half-knowing bards'

Musics, and could hear thy groans that miss,

Whispering thou know not of days to-come,

Like strange mortals with Hestia's boons,

Who fear peril where there null that is.



My East and my breasts shall hold thee ever,

'Til Zeus, in mercy, rejuvenate soul thy.

Then happily we will bathe in company

With all my lights, thou wilt hold my steed

Upon these glistening stairs, and when plight

Floats up from mortals 'bout their homes,

We shall live together in our abode,

And grief and sorrow shall elude us.

Till then, Love, pray stay with me in my place

And seëth all things, till Zeus does give

In to my beauty as I charm Him morn by morn --

Dawn, laying bare without modesty,

To return thee thy peaceful smile.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
TheRebel2007
Comment
Stickied · TheRebel2007 commented Comment · Aug 25, 2025

This is Eos' reply to Tithonus, as a mirror and parallel of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's Tithonus - showing a slightly reimagined but highly plausible version of Eos, the Goddes of Dawn

TheApatheticPurple wrote a review Review · Aug 30, 2025

Hello!

Full disclosure, I'm new here so I'm not sure what the standard for reviewing is. Hopefully this goes well.

So I really like the theme of Greek mythology going on here, and the archaic sort of language you use at a lot of points. I'm honestly really impressed by what you were able to achieve in terms of the tone and stuff, this sounds like a retelling of an actual Greek myth, about this almost obsessive admiration the goddess has for her admiree, presumably Tithonis from the title. The really intimate, poetic language and metaphors, and references to Olympians like Zeus and Hestia, feel faithful to the theme and common tone surrounding Greek myths, and really immerse you in the picture. If you don't mind me making recommendations, I think there were some points where the grammar could have been touched up a little. Like where it says "Me accursed by nature" or "still rosy I beside your brooding visage." The sentence reads unbroken in my head and instead gives the impression that it's saying "I'm accursed by nature" and the "I" just got replaced by "me" for some reason. So maybe a comma after "me" and "I" in those respective sentences would help. Same for quotation marks around her question, "When didst thou durst for immortality." I get it's poetry though, and grammar rules are a little different there. I think this would really help, but I could also be wrong, so make of that what you will.

On a scale of 1-10, I would give this poem a solid 8 rating. Some lines tripped me up for a second, but I'm still really impressed by the writing here. Nice job.

Hey there, thanks for the review! Let me add that my reply from the POV of Eos to Tithonus is a direct one-to-one parallel to Lord Alfred Tennyson's Tithonus, so well, about those lines where 'grammar kinda sucks' -- blame Tennyson, I just followed his whims lol.

You%u2019re welcome. Full disclosure, I was not trying to say your grammar sucked at all, as I still think overarchingly the poem was incredibly well-written. I am not familiar with Tennyson either, but I will take your word for it, haha.

Ah fair enough, thanks for the praise tho %uD83D%uDE2D

User avatar
velvetcatsz
Review
velvetcatsz wrote a review Review · Aug 30, 2025

Middle of the night? No wonder you couldn't sleep; you were thinking about the wonderful poem you just wrote! Hi. CATS again. WITH ANOTHER REVIEW!!! Let's go!
I'm assuming "Man" is the earth. I love how you describe this uniquely, with the earth as a man and the details in nature. Great work.
Oh wow. Here comes the fancy words!!! *Ahem...cough cough, William Shakespeare.
More fancy words. Beginning to think that I'm at a wedding. Well done!!~
Ooo, included a name in there! Troy. Great job!
Next two paragraphs: amazing and creative and emotional, full of tragedy.
Nice! More detail, description, and creativity. You really got a hang of this, Rebel!
Love. *Sighs* such a great ending. Keep being a poet. You are awesome. Happy Writing!
Your Friend,
CATS

Hey there, Catto! Thanks for the review! Although I would have liked it if you could have focused on the contrast between the original Tithonus by Tennyson and my reply from Eos' POV, I guess I will take the praise anyway. Thanks again! :p

Oh...I%u2019ll keep that in mind next time



Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.
— David Foster Wallace