Young Writers Society

Hello!

This is a very sad, dark poem-- but, I absolutely loved it. You touched every aspect of this man's life. How he stayed alive for his family and now he's facing his last few moments. I especially love the last stanza:

When the slaughter is over, and there is peace,
The innocent’s cries will still weigh down the breeze
Till the last shot is fired and the last tears are shed
Misery, grief and sorrow will follow the dead.

This was really sad and beautiful. This man has had everything taken from him. His family was hurt and starving and now he's going to die. War is terrible and sorrow still follows people after so much terror and death happened. People can't just forget the horrors they've seen and it will haunt them for a long long time.

"My mother died when I was born,
My father died for Mother Russia -
Since my birth, I’ve been forlorn,
But for my wife and son, I lived."

This part was really interesting. This man wasn't wanted from the beginning of his life but he lived to be with his family.


Thank you I hope you have a wonderful time.

Hello! I hope all is well in your world and you're enjoying the spooky season (my favorite time of year!). I'm a big foodie, with cookies being one of my childhood obsessions that have followed me into adulthood. With that said, I will serve an Oreo review.

For the first cookie, I will focus on what I love about this. Let's get into the highlights in numerical order! 1) I can tell you have significant experience with writing. This feels like it has been written by someone who has spent much time practicing their craft. Your level of talent for writing is inspiring. I perused your portfolio and noted that you have a rather lengthy repertoire of work that you have created. It shows in this piece as well. 2) With that in mind, this also feels like I have stumbled upon prose from before the present. You completely took me into the perspective of the peasant and their problems. Kudos to showcasing your ability to write well and adding a challenge of perspective to put yourself into this space and tell it well to the reader. 3) The rhyme scheme is *chef's kiss*. It is a personal preference of mine for there to be some rhyming. It allows for rhythm and flow. Plus, it makes writing poetry more fun (at least in my eyes). Although you do not have a consistent rhyming pattern, it is still enough that I noticed it. To be specific, your lines mostly go in an abcb or abac pattern with rhyme pairings as follows: way/hay, born/forlorn, ablaze/raze (with some in-line or out-of-rhyme patterning additions of gaze and dazed), sky/high/sigh/tie, away/today, peace/breeze, shed/dead. Again, you did not consistently keep a pattern, but it did not disrupt or slow the reading of this. 4) There are a lot of think and juicy vocabulary choices and references: Tzar, Bonaparte, Mother Russian, forlorn, razed, and languish. 5) You emoted the narrator's perspective of lost hope, possibly leading them to hang themselves, and this is the accompanying goodbye/farewell letter. Your use of directly confronting or addressing the reader and the line "for they'll be as true tomorrow as they are today" is magnificent.

I usually note what could improve the work I review for the cream, but despite several read-throughs of this, I fail to find anything to suggest. ADD THAT TO THE COOKIE!

The last cookie often summarizes what I understand from the work I review. To do so, I will reiterate my interpretation. As the title suggests, this is prose written from a peasant's perspective. It is their final plea to convey their troubles. Namely, they have nothing of value to sustain their lives or families. They have lost their parents. They have seemingly been depressed or downtrodden since they were born. They do not want to see their wife or son suffer. They have literally come to the end of their rope (pun intended), which has subsequently led to said rope being around their neck and this being their final message to the world.

Overall, it was enjoyable to review and even more enjoyable to comment on. Hoping this finds you well. With love, ♡a