I have gone through many things,
But didn't stop at one -
I have done many sharings
But didn't receive even one.
I am alone, broken are my bones, that's why
I am going down the memory lane-
To catch the frames of life;
To steer away the game;
To steer away the knife
From my idiotic questions
'Bout the meaning of my life.
I wouldn't have been so angry
If your behaviour was nice;
Why? Why? Answer me, answer -
Answer if you can, I'm like you!
Just an imperfectly perfect man.
I am alone, dead is my phone, that's why
I am going down the memory lane
To fight with the lone lion
The lion has got hold of me
And I at its mane.
I always love song, literature
And my ball pen.
I am alone, I am the warrior lone, that's why
I am going down the memory lane -
To match the deeds of man,
From the Stone Age,
To the age of modern-day LAN
Man has evolved, changed,
Rebelled, and did revival,
But the thing remained unchanged
Was the cause of betrayal;
I am full of rage, despair -
Betrayed by a mare.
She was the one whom I did trust,
Believe and did care.
I am going down the memory lane
To snatch the reel of life
Because I have cheated death
To death by times thrice
I wouldn't have been so angry
If your behaviour was nice.
Why? Why? Answer me, answer -
Answer if you can, I'm like you!
Just an imperfectly perfect man.
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139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
Fantastic work! The rhyme scheme and word choice is very great but it also gives people a perspective on what could happen in a relationship. Basically what to expect. It was written well and it's relatable. Just the title itself caught my attention:
"Down the Memory Lane"
That's deep...
Thank you! :p
This is incredibly beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
It was written extremely well and is overflowing with connectivity and emotion.
My favourite part was:
“I wouldn't have been so angry
If your behaviour was nice;
Why? Why? Answer me, answer -
Answer if you can, I'm like you!
Just an imperfectly perfect man.”
I have to say, you have an amazing way with words
Thank you so so much for sharing! Sending virtual hugs <3
-Ellie-Mae
Thank you for the review, EllinMae! :p
I like the song like tone of this, it reads well, I see you worked on it too, with the rhymes and the similarly lengthened lines. Well done.
You might want to work on making the words flow together better with sounds for the build up to each rhyme. It'll help keep it from sounding forced. Use a dictionary or an app to find words. It'll help.
Thanks for the comment, and yeah, there were some other words in the poem which I removed - as they were too childish. I wrote this poem three years ago. Thank you again.