Rage, rage, rage against the Tide --
Raise, raise, raise the flag of Strife --
Wage, wage, wage the war of Light --
In the dazed days, deign not to mere sight.
Cage, cage, cage the root of Fear --
Seize, seize, seize the means of Fair --
Hedge, hedge, hedge the joys of Dear --
In the waged wars, weigh not mere despair.
Yield, yield, yield NOT to unjust Laws --
Weld, weld, weld NOT the unhurled Cogs --
Shield, shield, shield NOT the stubborn Mobs --
In the yelled yelps, yeet not the still vulgar.
Rise, rise, rise to the Times betrothed,
Prize, prize, prize what’s Left and sought,
Hike, hike, hike to the Peak of humanity,
In the lands sleepy, seldom seeked - love and thrive.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hello there! It's catsz here to drop by and leave a review for review day! let's dive straight into it!
The repeat of rage, raise, and wage, makes the poem stronger. The rhyming makes it smoother, and the vocabulary choices are well thought out. Great work here! It makes my mind say it like a chant, like a sea shanty kind of xD
Yes. I love the repeats. yes. I don't want it to end. Yes. I love the pattern. CHANT YALL CHANT. I'm just vibing to the rhythem at this point. Maybe its just my brain chanting it is the problem, but the last line, it stutters because of the syllables. Do what you think is right though, I love it already, its already perfection.
Ohhhh, I love the repetitive NOT. Maybe for the last line you can do it too, but maybe its done on purpose for impact. Great work!
PEAK OF HUMANITY. This is BY FAR my favorite stanzas. Oh, and did I mention that the title is so strong and speaks out to me like CRAZY. Love the title.
Overall, this is very detailed and strong, like a chant, and I SOOO enjoyed vibing to the poem. Please continue, looking forward to more of your wonderful poetry!
Happy Writing, and Happy Reviewing!
~catsz
Hi! I really liked this a lot. It has some very strong imagery and interesting lines. I only have a few suggestions of things that you might want to change or adjust. Please take everything that I say with a grain of salt. I'm not an expert and poetry isn't my forte, although I really love to read it.
I'm going to start off with some of the specific things that I did really like. "Cage the root of fear" "shield not the stubborn mobs" both of these lines feel very powerful and vivid. Good use of imagery on both of them. I think this whole poem evokes a fierce. Determined feeling that I really love.
The one thing that I would suggest is a little less repetition. You deniably want a little, don't get me wrong. But I think making the poem a little bit more direct and concise would add a lot.
Thank you so much for sharing your work!
Hi rebel,
Watch me procrastinate in real time while I look at this poetry work of yours xd
Hmm my first thought is that these lines would work really well as several instances of a pre-chorus of a song!
Oh what does “Fair” mean? “seize the means of Fair“ because I keep thinking of shops and stuff, like a market. A funfair. I don’t think this is what you mean?
I rly like the way you capitalize nouns in the first three lines and don’t in the final line of each stanza. That’s having a pretty poignant effect and makes me pay more attention to what words you chose.
So I kinda feel like there’s a political lens to this poem. You did mention “Laws” in all caps and raging against the tide/machine/system can also be viewed as dissatisfaction with the status quo.
I also like the lines abt caging fear. All v interesting stuff!
Randomly found a review I forgot to reply to while looking through old stuff in the Green Room lol. By "Fair", I am trying to refer to the meaning of "Justice", not like a funfair. Think like "Seize the Means of Production" but Justice. Thanks for the little review! :p
Woah. Love the narrative style of this. Keep up the good work.