Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
This was quite a fun rhyming poem!! I loved the specificity of the title "Ever-Disheveled Maid of the Eternal Mist." It definitely added a certain uniqueness and depth. I think you spun the tale very nicely with gorgeous imagery and rhymes.
The narrative in this was really well structured. Upon the second read, it seems that this "ever disheveled maid of the eternal mist" seems to be an ex-companion of the speaker of the poem. Even though they've since parted ways, the speaker still holds this sense of longing for the maid. It's quite a bittersweet story you've presented here, and I think it was really well executed! Nice work!
Your last stanza was quite epic. I thought it was the perfect ending. Your syllable count made the flow very nice, and it was a very satisfying ending to this poem. Throughout, though, there were some lines that interrupted the nice flow, mostly due to the way the English language is structured (we have certain stressed and unstressed syllables which makes writing flowy poetry sometimes difficult) and also your syllable counts. I'd recommend reading it in your head or even out loud just to make sure it flows the way you want it to!
Specifics
But drew a line 'tween us, from which you'll never waiver.
Tiny thing here: this version of "waiver/waver" is actually spelled "waver." They're easy to confuse though, so I don't blame you!
Overall: nice work!! I think this poem blended a really nice mix of both storytelling and more abstract poetic devices with a touch of archaic and rich vocabulary to set it apart from the rest. I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!!
Points: 88380
Reviews: 704
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