There is
No chain that can bind me,
No prison that can bound me,
No pain that can stop me,
No refrain that can move me.
There isn't
Any mercy where justice is due,
Any obituaries where elegies are due,
Any graveyards where burials are due,
Any peace where rations are due.
Is this Fate?
Is this humanity's true nature?
Or is this just something the rich
Stitched up to ditch and leech
Off the poor and downtrodden
To live in peace without shame?
If this is our Truth -- screw you, Truth.
If this is our Fate -- screw you, Fate.
If this is our Destiny -- screw you, Destiny.
If this is our Life -- screw you, Death --
For
I am going to change that,
We are going to change that.
I will change that,
We will change that.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,005 Literary Works • 672,396 Reviews
Hiya!
Giving it a sort of freedom and nothing is going to bind them down, a calm before the storm situation. Then in the middle, you gave it a sense hopelessness or feeling powerless from all these factors going on in a person's life. But in the end, you wrapped up your poem with this it kind of makes it optimistic despite everything going against you at the moment. I like how you use repetition and it's a big thing throughout. For the most part (I least I can think of) your poem is pretty solid.Before I get to the review, I just want to say right off the bat. This poem feels like a middle finger, but in a good way. Like the title really tells you everything about this piece and know what you are getting into.
On with the review!
I like how you start off with
Goodnight, good morning, and good afternoon! This is RokitaVivi, signing out!
Thanks a lot for the review, Vivi! :p
No problem:)
Hello!
I was drawn to this poem by the title. It sounded interesting so I decided to check it out, and I really like it! I like the way you strung the words together. It really finishes off the whole thing nicely. I especially like the fourth line: “or is this just something the rich stitched up to ditch and leech off the poor and downtrodden to live in peace without shame?” It brings out the nature of the poem, if you know what I mean.
And other than a few grammatical errors, I don’t really see anything that could be improved! I wish I could write poetry like this, this is a great poem!
(Also I'm sorry, this review was not very good)
-Fable
Thanks for the review, Fabletear! Can you point out where the grammatical mistakes are, please?
Hi! Sorry, when I was writing my review I thought I%u2019d seen one but I checked again and realized it was grammatically correct. I guess my device glitched and didn%u2019t actually delete that part of my review. Sorry again!
Ok yeah my iPad is definitely glitching %uD83D%uDE05
Kek don't worry, it's alright