Across Worlds - Chapter 31 Part 1

Akia

George snuck a look at Akia before looking back at Phillip. "One thing you have to realize it that the future is a complicated thing. No one really knows what's going to happen. Not even us seers. I've seen definite things and I've seen things that are not so definite. Most of what I'm going to tell you is not so definite."

Sam wrinkled his nose. "How do you know?"

"Seers can't control their visions," George continued. "They come whether we're ready for them or not. And when they come, there are two kinds: definite and not so clear. The definite visions are crystal clear. In the image we can see faces and places, actions and decisions. The other visions are the complete opposite. The image is blurry. We can't see faces, only bodies. We can't see actions, only quick moving blobs. That means that something will happen, but it's going to change before it happens.

"I've had a lot of them lately, especially in the past year. Most of them, I think, were blurry. A few I remember are clear. I remember them because they're absolutely terrifying. I've seen a lot about Falyn and Rhys, but there are a lot about you, Akia."

Akia's heart pounded. Why was George having visions about her? She knew about the visions of Falyn and those made sense. Falyn had the power to defeat Rhys. Akia, on the other hand, was just along for the ride. She had volunteered to help Falyn accomplish what she was supposed to. Akia wasn't important enough for seers to have visions about her. Or was she?

"What kind of visions?" she asked, her voice full and strong. She wasn't about to show everyone how much the information upset her. There was already so much going on, she really didn't want more to deal with. But that's how it seemed to have been going lately. No matter what part they though they had gotten past, it came back to haunt them. It only made sense that these visions would rip a new hole in their plans.

George shrugged. "Not much. Just you fighting alongside Falyn, sneaking around the fortress. Looks like you're going to be more important than we thought."

"Great," she mumbled. Rhys had been nothing but terrible to her since their friendship fell through. She wanted nothing more than to stop him and put him under lock and key. He wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else that way.

But she wasn't looking forward to actually fighting him. Despite all their confrontations, she hadn't actually fought him. It had all been a battle of words and memories up to this point. She wasn't sure that she'd actually be able to fight him. When it came down to it, could she use the same torture spell on him that he used on her? She highly doubted it.

She chanced a look around the room. Nobody else seemed troubled by the news. Except for Sam, that is. He was giving her a look of pity, a look that showed he knew exactly how she felt. Just the thought of Sam feeling pity made her relax. They’d have time to talk after the meeting.

“Let’s start with what we know,” Phillip said addressing George. He almost sounded like he was a school teacher explaining a tough problem. “The most recent you saw was Falyn making it to Lightport. That obviously already happened. What else did you see?”

“Rhys walking through a destroyed Sedula.” George said.

“Sedula?” Akia interrupted. “Oh, God. No, no that’s not good. Not good at all.” She had meant to say it under her breath, but it came out a lot louder than that. Everyone turned to look at her.

“What’s not good?” Zeke asked, accusingly. It made her hesitate for a moment. She looked at him and was certain she saw something different in his face. Instead of his normal, jovial poker face, he looked like someone who had something to hide. It only made her hate him even more. But just as quickly as it was there, it disappeared.

“I just ran into Rhys,” she announced defiantly, her feelings toward Zeke fueling her comments. She wanted him to hear everything she was saying loud and clear. “On the back path through town. He was disguised as an old lady. It was a good disguise too. I didn’t realize it was him until he revealed himself.”

“What do you mean?” George asked.

Akia hesitated before answering. No one but Sam knew of what she was going to say. “He called me ‘Daughter of Kit’. No one else calls me that.”

Everyone fell silent. She hadn’t expected that exact reaction, but she had expected something like it. Kit was a very popular man in Vertfay and the efforts to fight off Rhys. Everyone knew what he did for them and, of course, the terrible things that Rhys did to him.

Akia still couldn’t understand why Rhys chose her father to capture. Kit was a nice man who never did anything to anyone. He wasn’t even high ranking. Sure he held a position in parliament once, but that was it. Rhys was going after the highest ranking people first. There were so many others he could’ve gone after. Not her father.

It was probably because he was her father. No matter what kind of job Kit had had, Rhys would’ve gone after him to get to Akia. And it had worked. The moment she heard that her father had been captured, she hurried off to save him. Of course in the end she was too late, but she had made the effort. Maybe Kit was actually thankful for that wherever he was.

It was at that moment that she realized just how much she hated everyone feeling bad for her. She could decipher the silence. No one wanted to speak because they were afraid she’d be broken again. She was not as delicate as they all saw her.

Kit was her father, true, but he was also a fighter just like Phillip. Everyone knew that there was a chance of him dying. No matter how he died and who murdered him, everyone should’ve been celebrating his life rather than mourning his death.

She’d have to convince herself to do so as well.

She cleared her throat. “Anyway, that’s not the point. He has the shapeshifters’ magic. That’s how he was able to transform himself. Well enough, I may add, that I didn’t recognize him.”

George’s face paled. “So that means…”

“Rhys took over Sedula,” Sam finished. “He has more than half of the worlds now.”

Conversations exploded from every point of the table. It was chaos. Akia couldn’t keep up with any of them. They all jumbled together in her mind, but little bits of each stood out occasionally.

“Only two more left.” Layna said.

“Wasn’t it our job to defend them?” George asked.

“This just makes it all worse,” Sam complained.

“Everyone shut up!” Phillip shouted. He didn’t need to raise his voice that much for everyone to get the idea. It was a small room. Not to mention, whatever Phillip says goes. “We can sit around talking about what we could’ve or should’ve done or we can take action.”

He looked around at all of them, no doubt looking for a reaction. What reaction he wanted, Akia had no idea. After a while, he continued. “If Rhys has Sedula, what do we know?”

Layna’s hand shot up into the air. Phillip looked surprised by the sudden motion. “It wasn’t exactly a question—"

“Rhys took over Sedula,” she answered anyway, rolling right over Phillip’s comment. The beam on her face looked like one a student would have that just answered a very complicated question. “There are only two worlds left to lose.”

Zeke smacked a hand on the tabletop, making Akia jump. “We’re not going to lose them. Rhys has destroyed our lives enough already. There isn’t anything else he’s going to do to jeopardize the way we live.”

There was a resounding amount of support from the others. Akia looked at Phillip, surprised. She hadn’t noticed how great the hate towards Rhys had become. Sure she had been away for years, but Phillip was still in communication with her during those years. If he saw the tide changing, he would’ve mentioned it.

Things hadn’t run so smoothly in those first few months once Lightport was established. Akia remembered how frustrated Phillip had become, feeling like he had no support or help. That’s why he asked her to be his second in command. He figured that a younger, more familiar face would do well. And it had. That’s when Akia started seeing the mission as her own as much as anyone else’s.

So despite the utter surprise at the enthusiasm, she was glad. They were all on board; they were in it no matter what. It would’ve been nicer to have it happen much earlier on, but she refused to be picky. This was the right time to take the fight to Rhys. And based on everyone’s reactions, they would agree.

Phillip raised a hand, effectively reclaiming silence. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, but we can’t just launch an attack. We need a plan. And right now, we don’t know much. All we have are George’s visions and whatever knowledge we can get out of Falyn.”

George cleared his throat. “Actually, we have a lot more than that. I know where Rhys will be in the next few hours.”

Akia stared at him, dumbfounded. She didn’t know that seer magic could be used for such close events. “Where?”

He took a deep breath. “Vertfay. There are others with him including Niro and a little boy.”

“Seth,” Phillip said, nodding. “Rhys must’ve found a way in and took one of our own to rattle us.”

“Of course he found a way in,” Akia said almost exasperatedly. “I told you that already. Either the barrier spell is getting weaker or he found out where the weak spots are. Thank God I remembered where the one is that links to Agathi or we might not have made it back. Either way, this is a lot more complicated than we thought.”

Phillip nodded. “We’re going to have to put a lot of thought into it. And the, of course, we’ll have to get Falyn involved.”

“No.” Sam said quickly. The determination on his face was almost comical to Akia. She knew how much he wanted to keep Falyn safe. Or did, rather. He had seemed to be drifting away from her lately, but that still didn’t negate his job to keep her safe.

Phillip let out a sigh. “Sam, I know that you still want to protect the girl—"

“Damn right I do. Who wouldn’t?” Sam responded indignantly. “Especially after what George saw. Are you all really going to sit here and let Phillip send a girl we barely know off to her death?”

“But we do know her,” argued Layna. “She’s the moonstar. We’ve spent years tracking her down.”

“Oh right, the moonstar. Big deal. How many of you know Falyn Perez. How many of you know the girl that was torn from her family only to learn it wasn’t her real family? Who knows that Falyn?”

Akia couldn’t help but grin. Sam knew that Falyn’s death was certain. George had seen it clearly in a vision only a few months ago. Yet he was willing to change the future. Even if it couldn’t be done, he was going to try.

Akia hated to admit it, but she agreed with him. She didn’t want Falyn to die either – she didn’t want to watch anyone die – but she had been wrapped up completely in going along with whatever Phillip decided on doing. Maybe there was a way to change the future after all.

She couldn’t help but think of what she had told Rhys only a few days ago: The future is never set, there’s always time to change it.

Akia grinned. Time to start changing the future. But she knew she wouldn't be able to until Phillip was sure that she was going to do things his way. If he knew that she was going to try and find a way around his plan, he wouldn't be happy.

----------------------------------------

For the LMS contest. Word count: 2,060

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
AdmiralKat
Review

Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! I hate that my reviews are so short but my knowledge on writing is a bit limited because of my lack of experience and of good teachers in the class of language arts. So excuse me for my seemingly short reviews. I really don't try to make them this short! You're just such a great writer! Anyways, let's see what we have right here...

Why does George not find Akia that important? I mean she has had many relations with Rhys and I think they had a major relationship. I would think George might know something about that since Akia and him used to friends. I don't know though. I am pretty certain that George is working for Rhys so he might know it that way. I know that Akia really important in this story and I think she might even be more important than Fayln for some reason.

So what does Rhys do to a world that he takes over? Does he demolish it? Take its magic? Rule over its people? This might be an important detail that will effect the plot in the end. What will Rhys do when he takes over the world? Just sigh and eat potato chips? You need to write a chapter with him in it and him thinking about what he will do when he takes over the world.

AWWW! Sam is so cute! Though I don't see Zeke anywhere! WHERE IS ZEKE? I want him back into the story because Falyn and Zeke are meant to be and that is that. I don't care what the all mighty and powerful Noelle has to say but KatyaElefant wants this one ship. PLEASEEE! 0-o

Keep calm(not like me) and keep writing(not like me)
KatyaElefant

User avatar
SpiritedWolfe
Review

Hey, Noelle!

Momentary rant: Okay, so Akia doesn't think she's that special but Rhys came and visited her to warn her about what's coming. She is probably the only person who was ever somewhat close to Rhys and she's second in command in this entire thing. How does she not think she is worth having visions about??? *sigh*

Of course George would know where Rhys is right now. And there's the bait for the trap just waiting for Akia to pull on the string. Though I do wonder, why doesn't anyone question George? They just go along with it instantly. I feel like someone would be somewhat skeptical that he'd know out of the blue, and though he'd answer with a clam, "I saw it in a vision." There's always a way to sneak in uncertainty or character development. I wish that was there.

Speaking of character development, whoot, Sam! That was quite the way to go for him, sticking up for Falyn like that. And it feels true. They don't know Falyn. They know who she's supposed to be and that aspect is really cool. Messing with prophecies and telling the future and maybe it's not set. Though you're evil enough to kill her off anyways.

Some quick nitpicks ~

"Great," she mumbled.


This part here kind of threw me off. For more context, this is where Akia sees that she may have to fight Rhys. So, she sounds so unenthusiastic about doing all this, as explained in the second paragraph right after this one, but straight after this quote, it goes on to say how she'd be eager to lock Rhys away. Then pauses and goes the other way. Well, after reading it, I took a pause and was sort of confused with her tone. Maybe you could combine the two paragraphs or short it up somehow. Make it so there isn't a pause between the two points made.

Conversations exploded from every point of the table.


You like to exaggerate, don't you. This stood out to me particularly because it doesn't seem like there'd be that many people to have conversations with for it to 'explode'. This word seems like too much here just because it's such a small meeting.

It was a small room.


In the second to last chapter, you went on to say how this room was bigger than it should be, being larger than a training room... If this is small, then how small are the training rooms...? o.o I would chose one description of the meeting room and stick with it.

He didn’t need to raise his voice that much for everyone to get the idea...


I remember doings this once in a chapter of Syrin, having dialogue before the tag and reading it one way and then having to go back to reread it before it was nothing like what you read it as? (...whoa I'm tired). My point is, when I read this, I heard Philip screaming. But he wasn't that loud... So I went back and reread it correctly. So maybe switch it around? Reword somethings? Clarification is needed.

Anyways, I really liked this part, as always, since there's sort of another look at how the battle against Rhys is starting to come together. It's so close! Oh no! Anyways, onward! Happy Review Day and Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sat Jan 17, 2015 9:48 pm

Hi Noelle!

If I am going to be honest I really don't have much for me to say here. Apart from a few nitpicks, there really isn't anything about this story that needs changing. It was wonderfully written and you did an awfully good job with it. I loved seeing Akia's thought pattern and the way she reacted to the dialogue and everything around her. And we now have the suspense of whether or not Falyn is going to die in the approaching battle. So we continue steadily rising to the climax... as well as that, it was nice to have Sam back in the focus, even if it was just for a little while. It was about time we saw how he was doing, and I think it is so cute that he is still trying to watch over Falyn even though they haven't been as close as they seemed to be before. When it comes down to it, I don't have much to say but this. Keep up this awesome quality of writing!

I thought it was a bit strange that Akia thought she wasn't important enough for the seers to have visions about her. I mean, really? The person who they are trying to get rid of is someone who used to be her best friend. Someone who went to her personally to try and save her by telling her to stay out of the way. So of course she would be in the visions as well! She is also someone who has been working on this plan for years, and is a head when it comes to commanding this group. I don't think she should really feel surprised to find she is in the visions at all. I would be surprised if any person currently around the table was not in the vision, really.

Another thing I think might be an idea to add to the mix is Phillip being suspicious of Akia. I know I would be! Akia had a chance meeting with Rhys and no one knows what actually transpired between them but her. And it seems like when she had that chance to do something damaging to Rhys then and there, she didn't do anything. Adding that on to how they used to be old friends and seems to be getting through everything, I know some people should start suspecting Akia and wondering how close friends they might still be. I would love to see Akia's response to be someone held in suspicion as well. It might just be an idea to add in there.

Despite all their confrontations, she hadn't actually fought him.


I actually think this sentence might sound a bit more complete with a 'before' on the end there. Just to specify a bit more.

Akia sees Zeke and says he looks like a person with something to hide... but then you kind of gloss over that statement! She finds it annoying as anything else that he seems to be harboring secrets of his own, but she doesn't suspect him of anything? Especially as she notices that look and then Zeke is the latest and least tested/trusted of the group. I found it funny that Akia didn't pick up on it emotionally past her annoyance, especially as she is someone who I thought was smart and observant enough to be able to.

Except for Sam, that is.


That is, is a present tense saying, so it should be 'that was'.

There are two characters which are fairly important but we need to see more of at this stage: Zeke and Sam. In truth we saw quite a bit of them in this chapter, but I find that it wasn't enough for what I want. We haven't heard from them in a long time and I get the impression that they have kind of been swept to the side and forgotten about. Let's not do that to characters! Especially these vital two.

Maybe Kit was actually thankful for that wherever he was.


Comma needed after the 'that.'

It was at that moment that she realized just how much she hated everyone feeling bad for her.


What? A moment ago she had Sam's pity and it made her feel at ease. I was surprised she felt at ease by that, but well, it's her so I let it slide. But now that she has more pity than before she suddenly doesn't like it? I know you do justify her means here later on, but it feels weird for her to have felt at ease by it in the first place in that case. Or, if it is because Sam is feeling pity for a different reason and that is okay, then you have to specify that for the readers. Otherwise the contradiction gets too confusing!

Sure she had been away for years


Comma needed after sure.

She was not as delicate as they all saw her.


Like with a previous comment, I think this sentence needs a 'to be' at the end to sound complete.

And the, of course


*then.

How many of you know Falyn Perez.


This is a question, so it needs a question mark instead at the end.

but she had been wrapped up completely in going along with whatever Phillip decided on doing. Maybe there was a way to change the future after all.


I feel like the words 'completely' and 'in' need swapping around for this sentence to run smoothly.

I felt this great moment of realization for Akia! For once she is going to do things her own way instead of following Phillip as she has been doing for all those years. She might even realize that she had been too much of a puppy and follower than a unique leader as she has intended to be. I mean, I know she might not even notice how a big a breakthrough that little moment of rebellion is, but I do! And I think it would be awesome if you could play it up a bit more, show us how she is someone who is capable of individual thought now. She is questioning the person who she always believed to be correct. I wanted some more there.

Akia grinned. Time to start changing the future.


She is grinning again so soon? I feel like she should do something else. Maybe it's time to break out the synonyms :3

Cannot wait to see what the people around the table decide to do. The way you are stretching the rising towards the action is putting those suspense levels right up. I love it. Keep at it :D

Deanie x

User avatar
Holysocks
Review

Hi Noelle! :D

You've got a good part of a chapter here. Let's take a look, shall we?

Akia wasn't important enough for seers to have visions about her. Or was she?


I beg to differ! Maybe Akia doesn't feel she's important, but there's always been an thing through out your novel that Akia is really important... like, more important sounding then Falyn... at least that's what I've found. In fact, I almost feel that Akia is really the main, main character, rather then Falyn... even though it's about the Moonstar... I don't know.

The thing that's really kind of starting to bother me about your last chapter, is when Rhys is almost feeling sorry for Seth. I realized how this really was against his character, when you brought up Akia's father, and his death. Thing is, I don't think a man that would kill a father, in front of his daughter... who used to be his friend would ever have a sliver of a heart left to feel sympathy towards a kid for simply kid napping him. I just don't see it happening. I mean, I really loved what you did with Rhys in the last chapter, but I don't know that it could have gone that far. Maybe if you're not entirely found of the past of Akia watching her father die, maybe it might work to change it? I do really like what you're doing with Rhys, but it's your choice, of course. :D


Either the barrier spell is getting weaker or he found out where the weak spots are. Thank God I remembered where the one is that links to Agathi or we might not have made it back.


Thanks for clearing that up! I had forgotten that it had been a weak spot that they had found! That's good to know.

Awesome job!!!

-Socks

User avatar
TimmyJake
Review

Timmy here

You're so mean. >.< Now you have me thinking that Falyn is going to die, which, may I add, is a horribly wicked idea. And if she doesn't die and Sam/Akia figure out how to change the future and save her... then you're just as mean, because you've let us worry about it for ages. My fingernails will be chewed down to nothing by the time I get to the end of this. If I end up killing you at the end of the book, you'll know why. You've been warned. ^.^

George snuck a look at Akia before looking back


I've seen a lot about Falyn and Rhys, but there are a lot about you


Why was George having visions about her?


That paragraph ^^ three+ mentions of vision

expected that exact reaction, but she had expected something


Minimal redundancy throughout the piece. Nothing that a bit of reading through won't fix. And, really, like the dialogue part with "a lot" isn't really redundancy, because I can imagine a character saying it twice (don't we when saying something?), but it still seemed to poke out of the piece like redundancy, so I would even change those so they blend into the piece better. Anything that sticks out should be cut, cut, cut! You know what you're doing. ^.^

"Great," she mumbled.


When she was told she would be alongside Falyn, that was what she said. But then her next thoughts told me that she wanted to be fighting Rhys, that she wanted to stop him. When I read her she mumbled, my first thought was that she didn't want to be out there. Because she mumbled, and didn't sound enthusiastic. Maybe some tweaking there?

Layna’s hand shot up into the air.


Seems out of place in a room full of soldiers... not school-kids. Perhaps she could lean forward, begin to speak - something like that? Seems more like what she would do to get attention.

...And I am pretty much out of things to say as far as nitpicks go. >.< I have read this piece over several times looking for things out of place, and your writing is too impeccable to find anything out of place, anything awkward, anything wrong. I think I shall just go through and see if I can comment on anything else. Because otherwise, this review is just about worthless. I am on it!

This chapter really seems to focus on George, and his visioning abilities - which, may I add, are quite cool. I love how you go into the details of his gift, but without giving us the boring stuff. I know enough of what he sees and how everything works with him to have a good idea, but you don't have him drone on and on about it. So thank youuu for that. One thing I would have liked to be more solidified in the beginning was if the visions of her and Akia were the clear kind or the blurry kind. Because it almost seemed as though they were the clear kind, but I coudn't tell. He just spoke about the two, and then went on to say that he'd had quite a few with Akia and Falyn... no details about the clarity. And that is important, because a clear one means the vision is definite from what George was saying. O.0 And they're talking about changing the future (talk about confusing. Changing something which hasn't happened. >.<) Now to think of it, that is bloody confusing. xD

And now I have officially ran out of things to say.:/ Most chapters I can toddle around for long enough to say enough to make a proper review, but with this one especially, there is almost nothing to say. Your writing is just too perfect.
~Darth Timmyjake



It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire