“No need to worry,” Terri continued. “No one’s missing.”
“Missing?” The word struck Akia in the wrong way. There was definitely something these kids were hiding. “I didn’t hear anything about anyone missing.”
Bredin glared at his cousin. “You’re such a blabber mouth. Think about what you’re saying before you talk.”
“Sorry,” the girl responded in a small voice. “I just – she said she had heard!”
Akia looked between the kids, wondering what to do next. She knew that she shouldn’t have eavesdropped in the first place, but it was just too tempting. Besides, what else could she do? She had to go find Phillip, but she also didn’t want to leave her brother. She had to wait for him to follow her. Even if he hadn’t done so. It was worth a try.
“That still doesn’t mean you can open your big fat mouth and blabber about it,” Bredin retorted. “We didn’t want anyone finding out, remember?”
That’s what set Akia off. “You don’t want anyone to know? Come on guys, seven months into training and you want to keep secrets? You should know better than that.”
Bredin shot his cousin a glance that said Don’t you dare open that mouth of yours.
Terri hesitated, but started talking. “We have a third roommate. His name is Seth. He went missing last night. We were hoping that he had just gone to the library and fallen asleep with his face in a book.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Bredin added in a mutter.
Terri ignored him. “But when he didn’t come back this morning, we started to worry. Now we can’t find him anywhere. And he’s not answering his phone.” The girl pulled a tiny contraption from her pocket and held it up for Akia to see. It was just as small as Akia’s, although it was purple while Akia’s was green.
She didn’t know what to do. The news freaked her out a bit. In the four years she had worked at Lightport with Phillip, never had a kid gone missing. A few tried to run away out of fear, but they never made it out of the front doors. This kid, Seth, didn’t just take off into the world. Someone had taken him.
Her heart raced. There was only one person strong enough to do that.
But how on earth could he get to him? She wondered. Lightport was a safe haven. The protection spell, among other things, kept everyone out who wasn’t supposed to be there. In order for Seth to go missing, he would’ve had to go to another world. Why would anyone leave?
Unless…
The thought was too much for Akia. She pushed passed the kids and raced down the hallway.
“Where are you going?” Terri called after her.
“To see Phillip,” she responded, not even bothering to look back. “Stay in your room. Things are getting pretty dangerous.”
If she turned around, she was sure she would’ve seen two young, scared teenagers frozen in their spots. How else would they respond after being told that things would get dangerous?
She ran past the rooms that housed more kids, all oblivious to what was going on outside the walls of the building. That was Phillip’s rule. While in training, all you know is that you’re learning magic in order to fight a larger threat. No one ever got details. Akia thought it was stupid to do things like that, but she went along with it. Phillip’s rules weren’t ones that you could break.
When she reached the stairwell, she took the steps two at a time. She was thankful that the battle rooms were only down one level. It was easier rushing down steps than rushing up, but she was still a bit drained from her experience with the pellets. If she had to go down anymore flights, she might not have made it.
She stepped into the hallway, expecting to see the group huddled against the wall somewhere. But they were nowhere to be seen. Had Phillip taken them somewhere else? Given them a new assignment? She really wasn’t in the mood to chase after them.
Then a door at the opposite end of the hallway opened and Phillip walked out. Relieved, Akia hurried forward.
“Phillip! I need to talk to—"
“Seth is gone.” He said, turning to face her. “Do you have any idea how he got out of here?”
Akia shrugged. “I didn’t even know there was a Seth here. Although I just ran into Terri and her cousin. They’re Seth’s roommates. They’re really upset about it. Terri was bent on keeping it a secret, but I got it out of her eventually.”
Phillip let out an aggravated sigh. “We don’t need this. We do not need this. Who knows where he could be. His parents are not going to be okay with this.”
“So don’t tell them,” Akia said in a small voice. She usually wasn’t so cautious about her words, but this was a touchy situation. No kids had ever left Lightport, much less completely disappeared. She wasn’t all that happy to hear that Phillip didn’t know what was going on either.
“What?” Phillip snapped.
Akia sighed. “Don’t tell his parents. They sent him here knowing fully well that they wouldn’t see him for a year. For all they care, he’s safe and sound in his dorm.”
Phillip studied her, his eyebrows knit. She knew that look. It was one he often gave her when he was thinking about how stupid she was being. He was straightforward with her in the beginning, but he didn’t have to be anymore. He would tell her how stupid she sounded and how she was thinking from her heart. But now she knew his facial expressions like the back of her hand.
The one he wore at that moment said, “Could you maybe think a bit before idiotic words come out of your mouth?”
But Akia wasn’t about to back down. Mainly because she knew she was right and Phillip would have to acknowledge it eventually.
“Come on,” she started. “You’ve already got enough on your plate with Falyn here, and Rhys isn’t exactly hiding anymore. The last thing you need are paranoid parents on your hands. Once you tell Seth’s parents that he’s disappeared, word will get around to the others. Everything we’ve created here will collapse.”
Phillip stared at her, as if actually considering her opinion, which happened more often than not. They were partners after all. He should listen to her, like she listened to her.
“Fine,” he said finally. “I won’t say anything. We do have to find out what’s behind Seth’s disappearance. But you have to promise me that you’ll help me get this all started sooner than later. Falyn didn’t seem all too excited when I told her what’s going to happen.”
Akia’s heart sank. “You told her? I thought we weren’t going to tell her.”
“What could I have done? George told her she had a future. I couldn’t let her wander around here thinking that she couldn’t trust us.”
Akia lowered her gaze. “You didn’t tell her—"
“No,” he responded, cutting her off quickly. “She doesn’t know. And no one’s going to tell her. I’d rather her… she just shouldn’t know.”
Placing a hand on her shoulder, he walked past her and made his way to the staircase. Slowly, she made her way to the battle room, not really wanting to deal with what she’d find inside.
-------------------
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Hello, Noelle! KatyaElefant here for another review! Let's see what we have right here...
So how does Akia know that Seth was taken away against his own will into another world. What if he left by himself? What if the person took him away took him to a city nearby or something. YOU NEVER KNOW! I just think it too quick for Akia to assume that Seth was taken to some other world and against his will. Also, wouldn't it be easy to get out of there? I'm a little confused about the setting. Is there guards or security cameras or something to keep them out? If you had explained the setting a little bit better, I may not have had so many questions about why the students would not get out. I bet there would be students that learn that they just don't want to fight or learn magic so they may be too shy to get out and they may run away. Also some people might want to get out because they are bullied. I just don't see how people are not running away at times unless it is run like a prison(though people escape prisons at times).
Why are they not telling Fayln the secret? Is it THAT bad? Like what secret could be so bad that you just don't want to tell anybody? I bet you have some certain place where you want to tell it. *cough* probably at the end of a chapter *cough*.
That ending is an improvement. It's not a cliffhanger but it makes you want to read the next chapter. Very good. I am very impressed. Though, it's very easy to impress me with your writing skills.
Keep calm and keep writing
KatyaElefant
WAIT A SECOND! They told her the future. Didn't they? I'm now confused XD So why are they saying they haven't told her? Unless...they lied!
They haven't told her that she's going to die.
AHHHH! That was confusing for a second XD
Hey Noelle, Knight r4 here for a review! Happy review day! I hope to get at least one more chaper reviewed!
I guess I better get working if I plan on keeping my promise! 
Now I'm confused. Why must you always be trying to make things complicated?I thought this sounded rather out of character for Akia. It seems like a pretty stupid thing to do. This might just be my opinion, but I just expected more from Akia. It's easy to see that the plan could backfire. This could easily lead to the ethical trap.
I think that you me at to say "him" instead of "her".
I'm so so confused. Why would Philip tell Akia that he told Falyn about what is going on and then say the opposite?
I don't have a whole lot to say about the chapter as a whole. It was rather confusing at a couple points, but other than that it was pretty good. I didn't really find any grammar or speeling errors to speak of as usual.
Well, now I am starting to get excited about what is going to happen in the rest of the book! It seems like we might finally be heading back into the action again!
Hey, Noelle! Wolf here for a review.
I knew there was more. There is always more. Falyn's going to die, she just doesn't know it yet. My theory is it's going to be Zeke who kills her. *shrugs*
Alright then, Akie forgets about her brother and about waiting for him. I have a suspicious that Aiden was trying to bore her out of the room anyway. Then I'm sort of confused. So Akia's been to the battle room hasn't she? If she's out in the hallway and she doesn't see anyone, why doesn't she automatically assume that they're all in the room? I guess it was really convenient that Phillip happened to have been walking out.
So in the previous part Akia says something about how they were younger kids, probably only ten, and they might've had strong powers and what not. But then later on here they are referred to as teenagers? Can Akia not tell the difference? Or did she conclude then she saw them that they were older? Neither one is mentioned, but I did happen to notice that.
Obviously Phillip's a nice guy. That's probably why he didn't want to deceive the parents, but he's also pretty smart and it looks to me like he's not afraid to hide the truth from Falyn, and she's more important than some parents. Why is it suddenly morally wrong to not tell the parents? Common, Phillip. Use that head of yours.
They say that the larger your circle of knowledge gets, the larger your circumference of uncertainty is. So when you learn more there's more that you realize you don't know. That's basically how I feel with a lot of your chapters. So before we thought the charge was it. Then we learn they lied. Now we realize we don't know what they lied about or why they lied. Even though we can probably guess. Anyways, I'm still enjoying this, though I'm getting just as frustrated as Falyn. Hopefully more answers soon! Onward! Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare~
Hola~ Happy Review Day!!!
OH MY GOSH. How am I suppose to deal with that last bit? They lied to Falyn!! How come I didn't see that coming!!! That was really well played, Noelle. I think, anyway. Although, now I'm really, really confused as to what's happening with Falyn and all!! Is it okay that I'm fearing for her life?
So, he actually is the blabber mouth! Terri didn't even give it away as much... but with this, Bredin did. I wanted to point this out, because although it can be the characters personality that causes them to speak that way, it's also a sign of... well, almost a form of info dump...? It comes across as though you're trying to get the information to us sooner by having them say really obvious things... but it doesn't feel realistic because when someone's really trying to keep a secret, they don't say obvious things to each other like 'shhh, it's we're not suppose to say!' you know?
You mean to tell me, that in this world, there's only one person strong enough to kip nap people?
Also, I just realized that there's no name for the organization that Phillip has here... or have I just forgotten it? If there is indeed no name, I think it would probably be good for you to come up with some kind of name. It just doesn't seem really like they wouldn't be called something.... even if it was something everyone else called the organization.
This kind of made me giggle. I thought George was trying to tell her she didn't have a future? It sounds interesting the other way though... like George was bent on convincing her that she had a future!!
Anyways...
KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!
-Socks
Timmy here
GUESS WHAT
I am actually caught up, and I think I may stay that way. A shocker, right? I mean, me not writing reviews for the latest chapters but doing them for your most recent? Anywho, let's see what I can dig up here.
Um, what is there to say? I think you did a wonderful job on this chapter, and really answered my questions I had previously. It's one thing in particular that you have in your work. Every chapter has this way of answering the questions I had in the previous chapters... and then always ending on a note where I am wondering one or more new things. That is really cool, how we're always pushed forward to the next chapter by our curiosity. And that is just one of the things which keeps us going. I like this added part of the book. One thing I have learned about you and your book is that I can never really tell what is going to happen next. Oh, sure I have guesses and can kinda see the general view of what is going to happen, but you always manage to throw in enough plot twists to keep me on my toes. Always.
Since there isn't really anything I can nitpick in the plot and characters - because they are perfect, as usual - I shall just hit a few technicalities before moving off, okay?
This is a mild nitpick because I can't think of anything else to critique. xD When you say "what set Akia off", I just thought that she would really act upset... instead of this older-sister kind of talk she did towards them. She chided them, yeah, but I didn't get any anger from her in that part, when I assumed it would be there.
Oh dear. That's a lot as Akia in just over one sentence. I wonder if there is any possible way you could narrow them down to one or two taglines there, instead of three+. It would sound less redundant that way.
*scratches head* And I thought they were ten-twelve? That is what you said in the previous chapter, right?
Now the way she words this makes me think that she is saying that Seth's parents don't care at all where he is, and if he is safe or not... and I don't think that is what you meant at all. Perhaps changing care to know would change the meaning enough? Possibly? I think it would make it sound as though his parents do care, but are completely oblivious to his disappearance.
Comma after partners. One thing I a curious about now that we see this is... well, I had always thought Phillip was her boss. Is he, or are they completely equal in the whole deal? For being so in command at the place and all, she didn't command as much as I think she would when with Zeke, Sam and Falyn during their journey. More like a team effort, and they all pretty much have the same say in things. With stuff like that, is she in charge or do they just work together on it all? Just something that popped into my head just now. xD
YOU ARE THE MEANEST PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN.
*coughs* Anywho, now that I have that taken care of. That cliffhanger! This was sooo much better of a cliffy than the previous one, because we really have no ide what Phillip is talking about. O.O Dun wanna tell her... what? That she is going to die? Adopt poodles? We have no idea. I like that. It really gives us more incentive to look forward to the upcoming chapters, which I will be ready for now. Yay!
I have been working with your book for a while now, Noelle. Ever since that review day where you and I buddied up and did team captains, remember? This has been one fun ride from each chapter to chapter, learning the characters and setting, discovering all of these worlds and your system of magic (which is really awesome, really), and just tagging along for the ride. I enjoy every moment of it. You have this way of just captivating your readers (in complete honesty), and how you weave all these little details into your story to make it all come together so perfectly. Gah. I want to know your secrets!
There is nothing more I can say. I wish I could review these more in-depth and give you lots of nitpicks you could build your story off of, but most of the time I just stare at the screen when trying to find something to nitpick, and go: "Uhhhhh..."
~Darth Timmyjake
Hi Noelle!
) The only thing I am not too happy about was Akia's hypocriticalness in this chapter. She goes on to the two kids about how there should be no secrets, and then we learn that she is keeping so many herself! More and more Akia is starting to seem like someone who is out there to save her own skin, and that makes me sad because in the beginning I never took her as someone like that :/
Okay, so this review is going to be pretty short because I don't have all that much to say. This is a great chapter, and now I understand why you included those two kids in here. I also am starting to piece together more about Akia and Phillip's relationship. And now that I do see this chapter, I really can't help myself not liking Phillip and liking Akia a little bit less. I mean, they didn't tell Falyn the whole truth! I did assume there would be something darker to the vision but I thought all had been revealed. (It's really clever on your part that you didn't reveal all though. Loving the idea of that
Wait a sec, why is that? They never made it out the front doors because they changed their minds and decided it was worth a stay? Or is this facility almost like a prison, and once your in they make sure you stay in through restrictions at the gates so that no one ever gets out? I know this is just a brief mention but it needs a bit more description because it could tell us more about how this facility actually works.
Ouch, so hypocritical! Just after she said not to keep secrets. And I wonder how they keep people motivated but out of the dark? Especially if people need something strong to believe in if they are going to be fighting for it till the death. I am curious to know how that is supposed to work. Also, how did Akia get the details then? When was the decision made that she was not just another child soldier but someone worthy of the inside info?
Don't tell the parents! How more against your own word can you be? Here I thought it would be beneficial for Akia to notice she was going against everything she had told the kids, but actually it is for the better. Maybe she could even feel a bit guilty, and then harden herself against her emotions for the good of the facility and the future battle they have to win which would ultimately save more people. If we see some more emotion from Akia, then it's less likely we won't like her as a character now. Especially as you have built her up to be such a nice person so far
Perhaps making them both we don't need this? That way it doesn't seem like he goes from an informal tone to a formal one randomly. And you could even put the second 'don't' into italics, to show that he is emphasising the word, otherwise it just seems a bit out of place for him to repeat what he says again.
I think you meant for the last word to be a 'him'.
Finally! I am all caught up! Looking forward to reading the next chapter so we can see where the gang is and find out what their plan of action will be. I feel like we are really nearing the climax now!
Deanie x
Wow!! This was MUCH better than the first half! Now, I still don't know where you're going with Terri, Bredin, and Seth, but it was so much better! Again, it was very well written, but that's not unusual:) Again, I don't have much of a review for it, because it's a lot better, and there's not a lot for me to say. There comes a point when someone's writing is too good to critique., and you're almost there!! Anyway, I have one nitpick...
"We do have to find out what’s behind Sean’s disappearance."
You changed Seth to Sean there...
I'm really pretty impressed with this chapter. You've given a lot more information, and we see a side of Akia and Phillip that we haven't seen before. Also...
“You didn’t tell her—"
HOW DARE YOU!! NOW I NEED MORE!!
*calms down* Anyway, good job, and keep writing!