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​Clear As Day My Love

by LadyGemstone

Things are fast now but they will slow

and bright colors will soon fade.

love will molt and morph as hate continously chafes.

the thundering annoyances will talk scream whisper and one day

be silenced so swiftly your ears will miss the berating sounds of old.

as is age and its effects so I'm sorry for stories I've repeatedly told

but my eyes ears taste and smell have all but gone static,

and I can still remember clear as day

my love....

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112 Reviews

Points: 979
Reviews: 112

Tue Sep 01, 2020 1:44 pm
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LZPianoGirl wrote a review...

**My Thoughts**

Hey Gem! I hope you're having a fantastic day! I really liked this poem. It was very short, but was super detailed, and I just loved it. OK, on to the actual part of the review!

**Spelling, Capitalization, the Whole Shebang**

So spelling and grammar were great! I couldn't find anything wrong besides this line:

love will molt and morph as hate continously chafes.
That should be spelled "continuously."

I liked your choice when it came to capitalization and punctuation. You only used capitalization on the first line, and didn't use it on the rest, which (to me) makes it look cleaner, especially because you did use punctuation. Just one thing. At the end of the poem you use four periods (....). I think that looks rather sloppy. Maybe use just one, or maybe three, periods so it looks neater.


I loved your choice of words and how you rhymed throughout the poem. I especially liked these two lines:
and bright colors will soon fade.

love will molt and morph as hate continously chafes.
I loved how you rhymed "fade" and "chafes" and it just flows really smoothly.

**The End**

Alright, Gem! I really liked this poem. I think there is a bit of things you can fix, but overall, it is fantastic! I hope you have a lovely day and an even better RevMo! <3

LadyGemstone says...

Thank you. <3

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85 Reviews

Points: 3234
Reviews: 85

Mon Aug 31, 2020 10:11 pm
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MoonIris wrote a review...

Hi Ladygemstone,
I am here with a review. I liked your poem as much as I did with the others. It has a beautiful message and you put it in lovely words. My only big problem with this poem is the punctuation. I don’t see any except for the last line. It’s difficult to read it as you don’t know the melody of it and it’s impossible to read it out loud without taking a break to breathe. I know that some people don’t use punctuation so the reader would concentrate on the message. Was this your reason as well? I believe adding punctuation will make it more pleasant to read it.
This is not as big but here:
” berating sounds of old so is age ”
This part is confusing. I had to read it a couple of times to understand it. Maybe you could change somthing about it to make it more clear?

I hope my review helped you,

LadyGemstone says...

I've added punctuation and changed the wording. <3 Thank you.

You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart? They're both ridiculous.
— The 12th Doctor