Hello again!
This chapter didn't do much for me and I think it's way too short. I think you should do some slicing and dicing and switching around here.
First: there were about three short chapters that were all about the same thing - this newest journey plus the dragon-napping. All of those should be one chapter. I've gone into that in other chapters so I'm not going to repeat myself here, but if you're still not sure why or you're still not convinced, say so and I'll explain myself more
Second, (option one): add the first part of this chapter to that new chapter. When I say the first part I mean up until "Now I need to find out who these dragons are and what they want with us.". That's all the same scene and you'll keep the momentum going by having it all in one big exciting chapter. I know you like short chapters, but even if you combine all of this you'll still be looking at roughly 1000 words which would still be considered a short chapter. If you go this route, you might want to put a more cliff-hanger-esque ending on it so it doesn't end so abruptly, but don't get into too much description of their surroundings and don't have them get to their destination yet.
Third: the ending of this chapter can either be taken out or added to the next chapter but I wouldn't have it in the same chapter as all of the suspenseful stuff about the journey and Felistia and everything. To me, it breaks the suspense. We've had all of this tension and uncertainty and they we go back to the pretty descriptions and a bunch of time going by and arriving at the destination. Have that time pass during the chapter break. At the start of the next chapter you can mention that a bunch of time has gone by and then describe where they are now and then get into whatever is going to happen in the next chapter.
Fourth, (option two): another thing you could do is get rid of this chapter all together. If you did that, here's what you would set up. The previous chapter would end with the realization that Felistia is also a prisoner and we don't even know if she's alive. Super suspenseful. Then the next chapter would pick up with them arriving at their destination (because time passed during the chapter break) and only then would we learn that Felistia is alive. That delay would be really suspenseful and suspenseful is fun.
There's no right or wrong answer here. It's your story. So do whatever you think is best for your story, but those are just some options and thoughts I had about how you could restructure this.
‘Oh no,’ Zoltar thought with dread, ‘What have they done to her?’
Good use of specific thoughts.
‘Those snake necked vipers must have tried to knock her out the sky and in doing so, gave her that gash. Why I should rip them apart for doing this,’ Zoltar could feel the rage burning with in him like a volcano about to explode, but then he realized that Felistia was still taking shallow breaths.
And this would be a part to get more descriptive with the thoughts because it's more subjective (how does he know what they did to her? how did he think that through?) and more emotional. I think you'll be able to show the emotion more by digging into those thoughts more in a descriptive way.
'She’s still alive,’ Zoltar heaved
Good use of a specific thought because this is a fact. She's alive. There's no processing or anything involved. He saw this.
a shaking sigh of relief and felt his tense muscles relax a bit, ‘Now I need to find out who these dragons are and what they want with us.’
This is a bit awkward. Maybe try developing these thoughts more descriptively and get into what his plan is or what he wants to do now or what he thinks is going to happen. These are the things he wants, but how is he planning on doing that?
See you soon! Let me know if you have any questions/if anything I said was confusing!
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