E - Everyone

Quest for Fire Book Two ~ Frozen Past Chapter 14

After what seemed like hours of waiting, a slow evening crept through the barred window, casting shallow crimson light over the dirty walls.

Zoltar stretched like a panther and yawned. His heart was beating a million miles an hour. Tonight was the night. Finely they were going to get out of the hell hole. His stomach felt like white water and his scales were drenched in cold sweat. This plan had to work. They'd been here for four days and he only had three days left before he died of cold. His fire was fading fast and soon he'd lose the ability to breath flame, death would soon follow. The symptoms were already starting to show. He found himself shaking uncontrollable from time to time and the cold was almost unbearable. His time was running out. This escape was the only chance they had to get out of here.

The guard had already given them dinner and had nearly given Zoltar a heart attack. He'd had to hide his mangled tail case under his claws in a rather awkward way, his mind spinning the whole time with the horrible thought that the guard would spot his trickery. Thankfully the ice talon hadn't and had simply thrown the plate of food down and had left the room with a self-centred snort.

Zoltar breathed a shuddering sigh of relief as he realized how bad the whole thing could have gone. If the guards had found out about his tail they probably would have put his mouth clamp back on, leaving him to starve. There wouldn't have been another chance at escaping if that had happened. He and Felistia would have died and the shadow talons would have gone to war with the moon talons. There was still a great possibility that they would die, but Zoltar didn't want to think about that right now. He had to focus on the mission ahead; stealing the ice diamond and more importantly getting him and Felistia out safely.

"T-time to go," Zoltar whispered nervously, hardly able to contain himself with anxious excitement. It was the same way he'd felt when he'd flown through the Misty Maze the second time. Adrenaline had surged through his veins, whisking away fear and had replaced it with a strange sense of thrill. This was the exact way he felt right now. Strangely, he found himself thinking about Emerald and wondered how she and Shiraku were getting on alone. He just hopped they hadn't ripped each other to shreds. Zoltar smiled warmly at the thought that he was going to see them soon....hopefully.

Zoltar prepared to blasting the last plume of flame needed to melt his tail case, summoning up the familiar heat, but to his utter terror, nothing came, just black smoke. Zoltar's heart plummeted. Had his fire gone out? What where they going to do now? This was their only chance and now the only thing they needed was one last burst of fire. Was he really going to die here. Zoltar snorted stubbornly. He would not die here. Not with out a fight. Refusing to give up, Zoltar huffed and wheezed trying to push up one last bit of fire. Finely after a few heart stopping seconds, a small puff of flame erupted from Zoltar's jaws and connected with his tail case, melting the last of the lock. Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Zoltar gently laid it on the floor. The last thing he needed was to alert the guard outside the door with the clumsy clang of his tail case hitting the floor.

Flexing his barbed tail back and forth, Zoltar grinned. The ice talons weren't going to know what hit them. He carefully dripped the poison from his tail onto their chains, the metal bubbling and melting away from them. He crept towards the door. Felistia followed, silent as a leopard as she slunk over to him. Her golden eyes were like search lights in the darkness of the cell.

No silvery moon light shone through the window to illuminate the cell door. The only source of light was Zoltar's amethyst eye beams which gleamed down on the door's steel key hole.

“Do it,” Felistia whispered behind him, a look of excitement written all over her snout. Zoltar nodded, raising his barbed tail over the lock and gently letting drop after drop of poison splash down on the iron lock. There was a soft sizzling sound as the it melted away from the door, revealing a small hole carved out of the metal.

Zoltar placed his eye against the hole and peered out, searching for the guard he knew was there. The figure of the ice talon leaning against the left side of the door came into Zoltar’s sight. The guard was slumped against the wall and appeared to be fast asleep, soft snores drifting from his snow white snout.

Zoltar turned back to Felistia whispering, “The guard’s asleep. I think if we’re really quiet, we’ll be able to sneak past him.”

“Why don’t we just knock him out and lock him in a cell?” Felistia asked softly, flexing her claws as though she were in battle already.

“Because it might make a noise. If we slip past him and close the door, he won’t even know we’re gone,” Zoltar explained, reaching for the door.

“Okay,” Felistia said, watching as Zoltar slowly opened the door. They both flinched as a high pitched squeal shot from the door’s hinges. Zoltar glanced at the guard, praying he didn’t wake up, but the ice talon simply heaved a sigh and sunk further down the wall. Breathing a sigh of relief, Zoltar and Felistia crept out of the cell, closing the door behind them.

The palace was dark as night and twisted shadows lurked around every corner, causing Zoltar and Felistia cringe with fear before realizing it was only a shadow. The lonely hallways were empty much to Zoltar’s relief and the icy air was still as crystal, so quiet it could be shattered by a single snowflake dropping to the floor.

Zoltar’s heart was pounding with fear and his stomach was churning was nausea. A guard could be around any corner, waiting to sound the alarm and their hard earned freedom would be snatched away from them. Felistia was equally tense beside him, her tail poised for battle and her glittering eyes darting from shadow to shadow, looking for any sign of trouble.

Slowly, she lead the way through the dark corridors and up a long flight of stairs, every minute seeming to stretch longer than the last. Finely after a few heart stopping minutes they reached the throne room. The great silver doors were slightly ajar with a blade of silvery light slicing through the slit. Zoltar and Felistia slipped between the gap, not wanting to risk opening the doors and accidently cause them to squeal.

On the far end of the room was the ice diamond, but it wasn't like the last time Zoltar had seen it. This time is was glowing with a creamy silver light like that of the moon. Zoltar and Felistia stared in fascination for a few seconds before remembering why they were here and padded silently up to the glass casket in which the diamond was kept.

"What do we do now?" Felistia whispered in a horse voice. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking with nerves.

"I've scanned the case and there doesn't seem to be any traps, so I guess we can melt it like we did with our chains," Zoltar suggested, studying the diamond in fascination. Were was that glow coming from?

"Okay then."

Zoltar arched his tail like a scorpion and leaked a few drops of black poison onto the casket. The glass immediately disintegrated into nothing, leaving the diamond gently pulsing.

"Just grab it and lets go," Felistia hissed, her voice ringing with urgency.

Zoltar grabbed the diamond with out thinking and rushed for the door. Then the silence shattered.     

Comments & reviews · 4
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I'm here!

They'd been here for four days and he only had three days left before he died of cold.

The things is, I think we already know this. I don't really think that you need to state this again.

I have a few things to say regarding palace security.
iThe whole sleeping guard thing is kind of a cliché. Plus, I don't think a queen that vicious would tolerate her guards sleeping. Heck, I don't even think the guards would have enough nerve to sleep. They'd probably be too terrified that the queen would kill them or something if they did that. What if she walked in randomly and saw them like that? Bad things, I tell you. Maybe, as a solution, they could chose the right time to do it in between guard shifts?
ii There don't seem to be many palace guards. I'm pretty sure the queen would have been killed or something already if there weren't any or many guards around. Wouldn't Zoltar and Felistia come across some kind of guard? Surely their journey to the diamond wasn't like some walk down a peaceful, serene street? I'd imagine that there would have been at least some security that Felistia and Zoltar would almost run into. Surely they would have had a few close calls? Maybe they would have taken a few alternative routes? Take your time during this scene. Kill us with suspense. Make us gasp at every encounter. Right now it sounds a bit like a peaceful stroll, when it really shouls be a nail-biting lurk through a feild of tall grass filled with scorpions, deadly snakes, and poisionous spiders.

That cliffhanger....HOW COULD YOU?! Thank goodness there's another chapter out because I'd have to bribe you to tell me what happens next. But if the next one ends on a cliffhanger as well, we won't have a happy hologram on our hands. :P

Don't forget to keep writing! (Mainly because I want to read more, but also because writing's cool)
~HolographicLadybug

Thanks for the review. I have reason for all the guards being asleep or gone, but you'll have to wait and see why. :D

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felistia
Comment

testing

Wait, what? Since when was there a test?! Someone help me! I DIDN'T STUDY!!!! (Runs from room)

oh no. I was just checking if a button worked. :D

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Carlito
Review
Carlito wrote a review · Sun May 29, 2016 9:35 pm

Hello again! :D Oh I'm so excited to see how this plan of theirs is going to shake out!

Zoltar stretched like a panther and yawned. His heart was beating a million miles an hour. Tonight was the night. Finely they were going to get out of the hell hole. His stomach felt like white water and his scales were drenched in cold sweat.

Remind me now how many days they've been down here and how much longer Zoltar has until he'll die. Also, it would be nice to know how he's feeling and how he's doing because I feel like each day they get a little closer to his end, the weaker he must feel. How is that going to effect him during this escape attempt?

Zoltar breathed a shuddering sigh of relief as he realized how bad the whole thing could have gone. If the guards had found out about his tail they probably would have put his mouth clamp back on, leaving him to starve. There wouldn't have been another chance at escaping if that had happened. He and Felistia would have died and the shadow talons would have gone to war with the moon talons. There was still a great possibility that they would die, but Zoltar didn't want to think about that right now. He had to focus on the mission ahead; stealing the ice diamond and more importantly getting him and Felistia out safely.

I really liked how this was described and the way Zoltar processed through this. I know I've mentioned this before, but your improvement is so amazing! I feel so connected to these characters right now. I need them to succeed so bad!

"T-time to go," Zoltar whispered nervously, hardly able to contain himself with excitement.

I'm a bit surprised that this is his primary emotion right now. I get that he's excited to get out of here, but is he feeling at all nervous or worried or anything about his plan?

Strangely, he found himself thinking about Emerald and wondered how she and Shiraku were getting on alone. He just hopped they hadn't ripped each other to shreds. Zoltar smiled warmly at the thought that he was going to see them soon....hopefully.

I'm glad you brought them up again and they're still in the story even though they aren't physically present. I hadn't forgotten about them, but I'm glad Zoltar is still thinking about them even in this predicament. It shows that he really does care about them.

Blasting the last plume of flame needed to melt his tail case, Zoltar gently laid it on the floor.

I'd still be curious to know how using his flame has effected his inner heat storing and how he's feeling overall in that regard.

He carefully dripped the poison onto their chains,

Wait what poison? The poison in his tail? How does he do this again?

“Do it,” Felistia whispered behind him, a look of excitement written all over her snout.

I'm also curious, as they begin to execute their plan, what Felistia's health is like right now. How has her side healed since the injury and how is that going to affect her (if at all)? They haven't been eating or sleeping that great the last how ever many days it has been. Is that going to affect either of them as they carry out this mission?

Zoltar nodded, raising his barbed tail over the lock and gently letting drop after drop of poison splash down on the iron lock. There was a soft sizzling sound as the it melted away from the door, revealing a small hole carved out of the metal.

Okay. I'm on the edge of my seat right now! I'm glad you're taking your time and describing each thing that happens to keep us moving forward but not running forward. I can't wait to see what's going to happen! :D

“Why don’t we just knock him out and lock him in a cell?” Felistia asked softly, flexing her claws as though she were in battle already.

“Because it might make a noise. If we slip past him and close the door, he won’t even know we’re gone,” Zoltar explained, reaching for the door.

Great showing of their individual personalities! The way characters handle situations are great windows into who they are :)

Finely after a few heart stopping minutes they reached the throne room.

How did they know where to go? How did they find it? I'm guessing this is a big place...

Zoltar grabbed the diamond with out thinking and rushed for the door. Then the silence shattered.

Oh boy. PLEASE POST MORE RIGHT NOW!

I'm kind of glad their escape isn't going to 100% perfect because that would be too easy :P (But they both better make it out of this alive!) Eagerly waiting for more!! Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing! :D

Thank you so much for more reviews. I am happy to now that my writing has gotten better. I've gone back and fixed the chapter's you reviewed and I hope you have the next chapter out soon. I will definitely let you know when. Thanks again for following my story. It has been a great help. :D

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haredrier
Review

I really enjoyed reading this protion of your story. While I haven't read the other parts of your story, I really like the premise of an intelligent dragon-filled universe. The last passage is great too, it brings suspense and ties the whole thing together with a cliffhanger. There are only a few thing's that I think might need editing/ changing.

Firstly, in a world populated by intelligent dragons with (what appear to be) multiple races/ types of dragon, it seems a little unlikely that a prison cell would be so ill-equipped to deal with a dragon that can secrete acidic poison from its tail. Especially if it's a cell underneath some sort of palace, they should be expected to handle foreign and different breeds that attempt to spy or assassinate important people.

Secondly, it seems to me that the prison/ holding cell's location is improbable. If it is some sort of palace holding an important jewel, it's a large security risk to keep prisoners in its vicinity, especially if they are poorly guarded (only one guard who is sleeping on the job does not show a well-organized guard regiment, especially when trying to protect important objects or keep prisoners from escaping).

Other than that I really enjoyed reading your work. I'd look over it once more to make sure some sentences make more sense ("The palace was dark as night and twisted shadows lurked around every corner, causing Zoltar and Felistia cringe with fear before realizing it was only a shadow" sounds a little repetitive, maybe it could be worded better?) and that all the punctuation marks are in order ("lets" should be "let's", as an example). Keep u[ the good work writing and I'm always available if you ever need any help.

- Haredrier



Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
— Groucho Marx