Young Writers Society

All of the Chocolate is gone,
But not in my belly,
Because that is where
It really should be. good use of the word really. Helps a lot with flow

All of the Chocolate is gone,
And you're in the vicinity
Wiping your mouth,
And rubbing your tummy.this says tired to me more than hungry.

You've eaten all the Chocolate.
Its as clear as the open sea. use a different metaphor here.
If you open your mouth,
It's to plead guilty.

You've eaten all the Chocolate.
Stop lying, it's easy to see.
I can see just howusing the word see here so closely sounds bad.
You chuckle nervously.

I know where the Chocolates gone.
How should we punish thee?
Perhaps I'll eat your Chocolate.
Or maybe all your candy! this is a good stanza

I know where the Chocolates gone.
It's you, and that's the tea.I like that's the tea. I may start saying that.
But no one will ever know
The guilty one was me.

LOL that was awesome. I think you could put this into a song. LOL

Hmm I wonder why the 'you' was wiping their mouth and chucking nervously if they didn't eat the chocolate . . . seems sus to me (great poem though, I love the repeating lines and the general structure).

OML XDD

I LOVE this poem, it's made me laugh-- and crave chocalate. (Don't you dare blame it on me!)

I think your rhyme scheme is just perfect, and I have no issues with it that I can think of grammatically or structurally. I think it's really unique, and I'd love to read more poems like this!

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

I love this xD

REVIEW TIME!! Awesome poem! I love it! (I like chocolate too, so I can totally relate)

All of the Chocolate is gone,
But not in my belly,
Because that is where
It really should be.

The Chocolate is gone,
But not in my belly,
Because that's where,
It really should be

All of the Chocolate is gone,
And you're in the vicinity
Wiping your mouth,
And rubbing your tummy.

You've eaten all the Chocolate.
Its as clear as the open sea.
If you open your mouth,
It's to plead guilty.

You've eaten all the Chocolate.
Stop lying, it's easy to see.
I can see just how
You chuckle nervously.

I know where the Chocolates gone.
How should we punish thee?
Perhaps I'll eat your Chocolate.
Or maybe all your candy!

I know where the Chocolates gone.
It's you, and that's the tea.
But no one will ever know
The guilty one was me.

Hi! This was a wonderful poem, and the twist was just.......... unexpected. I only found one mistake, and that’s:

I know where the Chocolates gone.

To

I know where the Chocolate’s gone.

Haha! Great plot twist at the end!