Young Writers Society

Ah..the feeling of not fitting in.It hurts.It’s everyone judging you and scrutinizing you.You want to make the right choice but at the same time,you want to have fun.It feels like everyone is judging you and everything that you do.Everything that you stand for is being judged.All of it.But try your best and you’ll be fine.I hope you have a lovely day/night.

My favorite part of this is probably

I'm so dumb / But I know everything

Hi there Horisun! The title of your poem piqued my curiosity, so here I am with a quick review for your short poem ^^

I like the simplicity and minimalism of this poem. The short and consistent line length, the simple rhyming scheme, the repetition of contrasting phrases, and the lack of punctuation, all work well together to achieve this effect.

I find it interesting that you link the rhymes across couplets, instead of having a rhyme contained inside of a couplet - it makes the rhyming scheme a bit subtler, which I actually quite like. I did notice that in the final two couplets, instead of having the pattern ABAC, you switch to the pattern BACA (as in, the second lines of the couplets rhyme instead of the first lines). It's not a huge deal, but I do think the poem would benefit from keeping the pattern completely consistent, since it's so short and compact and little things like that really stand out!

I agree with your previous reviewers that the use of contradictory phrases works quite well to convey a sense of confusion and inner turmoil - something that a lot of teens and young adults can relate to, I think. I especially liked the lines "Blissfully numb / Blistering pain", as it reflects how it can feel like your life should be simple and carefree and yet you can still experience so much pain / stress / anxiety.

The choice to use no punctuation fits the message of this poem perfectly. It makes it seem like the poem isn't really grounded on anything, a bit like it's floating in a void, if that makes sense, and has nothing to hold on to. That matches the subject really well! It's especially effective when you reach the end and there is no period - it makes it feel like the poem isn't fully finished, or the narrator doesn't know where to go from here so they just stop, but they leave a loose end.

I'd like to suggest that to add even further to the effect of no punctuation, you consider no capitalization, as well! This handy yws article explains how different styles of capitalization can change the tone and mood of a poem; it's definitely a worthwhile read! But in short, I feel that a lack of capitalization would add to the un-grounded feel you're already starting to establish by not using punctuation.

All in all, this was a nice short piece to read! I liked how simple and concise it was, and I enjoyed the rhyming scheme and contradictory phrases, along with the minimal punctuation. I hope this review proves helpful, and if you have any questions about it feel free to ask c:

Keep writing!

whatcha

I love how you express yourself so much in such a short poem.
I really liked this poem except for this line: "Stumble and fall
A queasy flight"
i feel like all the other couplets are contradictory except this one. Ijust feel like maybe the wording could be changed.

But other than my nitpicking your poem is really good.
looking forward to reading more of your poetry.

Chancing A Review

I like the word sparse arrangement, you still manage to describe exactly how you/the author feel/ feels. The way the author feels is very relatable as well. Not quite lost not quite found, between everything- avoided because you are being yourself. I think everyone has felt that way. I know for sure I have/ do frequently.


No grammar issues you choose to go without commas, and it fits. No misspellings - if they're there I don't see them. I like how the stanzas are couplets- I think thats it.


I like your poem it is communicable and relatable, a very nice read.

Much love Gem <33333

Hey there!

This is an awesome poem about the way you feel when you aren't quite sure where you belong. First, the awesome dichotomy that you have in every stanza is a really cool stylistic choice that fits the message well. Also, the rhyming dissonance that you have going with "Small" and "tall", "Numb" and "dumb", and "everything" and "tween" and "Between" really adds to that feeling of confusion. Really well done here, this is a great example of a poem that uses style, format, and word choice to add to the message.

A perfect summation of what it feels like to be a youngster, I'd guess. Not quite fitting in. But one line is puzzling me. The whole poem is a collections of contradictions that make sense to me, until:
"Stumble and fall
A queasy flight"
It stands out as being misplaced, as it is the only couplet in the entire poem which is not a logical contradiction per se-a "queasy flight" sounds more like the resultant consequence of a "stumble and fall", as might happen if I pushed you down a flight of stairs, for example. A flight through the air, the metaphorical opposite of a fall, is usually used to convey jubilation or euphoria, so if that was your intent, the word "queasy" seems misplaced.
Maybe you you could consider rewording that couplet, or perhaps replacing it with another one entirely?
Great poem, by the way!