On your board, I wrote...
MATH SUCKS!
When you saw me a scribbling,
you went a raging.
Like a tearing-out-paging.
You made a sly comment on my grammar,
before saying,
"Little old Jimmy, take that piece of chalk-"
"And go for a walk?"
I asked hopefully,
"And on this board write I WILL NOT BE BAD."
I nodded my head sadly.
"I will write I WILL NOT BE BAD,"
"If it will make you very glad."
And for hours and hours, (Or so it felt)
I wrote each cursed word,
on that big ugly board.
And when I was done,
I took a step back,
then I grinned,
you turned, and gasped.
Because each sentence worked together to say;
MS. FARFLOWER SUCKS!
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140,109 Literary Works • 673,015 Reviews
I don’t see how writing on a board can stop someone from being bad.But that’s what teachers did.It’s what people have thought to do.A kid is going to misbehave.They are just sneaky like that you know? This was fun to read.I liked it! I don’t regret this read.I hope that you have an amazing and fantastic day and night.
This poem is very beautiful and also hilarious! I like how the story flows and I can imagine it in my head, yet you allow the readers to fill in their own details about the rooms and characters. The language here is very creative and vivid, making it very powerful. I really don't think any line was less powerful than a different one. They were all great!!
The only criticism I really could give you is that it's unclear who is speaking in the line, "If it will make you very glad." I believe it's supposed to be the little boy, but if that's the case you should take away the beginning quote to create an one quote. So, like this:
"I will write I WILL NOT BE BAD
if it will make you very glad."
If it was the teacher who said this line, I would try to make that a little more clear.
Other than this minuscule detail, I loved every bit of this poem! Nice job, and very impressive for such a young writer. I hope you'll continue writing!
Thanks!
I love this!!! The description made me laugh out loud!!! He reminds me a lot of my younger brother, who does everything listed here, lol. Great job!!
I love the entire thing, but if I had to pick a favorite part it would be,
"Little old Jimmy, take that piece of chalk-"
"And go for a walk?"
I asked hopefully,
"And on this board write I WILL NOT BE BAD."
I nodded my head sadly.
"I will write I WILL NOT BE BAD,"
"If it will make you very glad."
And for hours and hours, (Or so it felt)"
I love the humor put into. You also captured the typical dude's mind very well!!!!!! Kudos to you, because even with my brother's help I can't do that...lol Great job!!!
~Giginicole
Thanks!
Ahaha!
Great poem! I needed a laugh today, and you just gave me that. Thank you so much! I love the rhythm you have going, it's awesome. I think my favorite part is this:
""Little old Jimmy, take that piece of chalk-"
"And go for a walk?"
I asked hopefully,
"And on this board write I WILL NOT BE BAD."
I nodded my head sadly.
"I will write I WILL NOT BE BAD,"
"If it will make you very glad."
For me, that made me laugh the most. Keep up the amazing work!!
Thank you!