On a dark night,
Lightning strikes.
The wind howls,
The monster growls,
The floor creaks,
And the witch shrieks.
Vampire in a closet?
Ghost under the bed?
Or is it a ghoul instead?
Mom and dad are in bed,
Well I'm stuck with the undead.
After a night of terror,
The sun rises,
And lifts night disguises.
The monster was a poster,
The vampire a hat,
And the creaking was a cat.
Maybe the night isn't so scary after all.
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140,109 Literary Works • 673,015 Reviews
Often at night things seem scarier.It’s like the world is out to get you.In reality it’s all in your head.But we can’t help it when we imagine these things.It’s night so it seems terrifying.We never quite grow out of our night terrors.That’s just what happens.You know? Stuff like that.This was cool to read.I hope you have a nice day/night.
Hi, so I'm just going to give this a quick review!
On a dark night,
Lightning strikes.
The wind howls,
The monster growls,
The floor creaks,
I like the rhyme scheme so far and the flow is great.
And the witch shrieks.
Vampire in a closet?
Ghost under the bed?
Or is it a ghoul instead?
The flow is starting to deteriorate. But for the wording itself, it's cute and childish and lighthearted. I love it!
Mom and dad are in bed,
Well I'm stuck with the undead.
This line made me giggle.
After a night of terror,
The sun rises,
And lifts night disguises.
The monster was a poster,
The vampire a hat,
And the creaking was a cat.
Maybe the night isn't so scary after all.
That's such a good end to the poem. I can only suggest maybe ending by mentioning it's all good until the next night, or something like that lol.
OVERALL: I liked it. I know I keep reviewing your work but it's because you have so many everywhere. Keep writing
Jade
I absolutely love this poem! The style and simplicity makes it really fun to read, and the ending brings a sense of humor and wraps it up nicely! The only comment I have that hasn't been previously mentioned is for the line:
"Mom and dad are in bed,
Well I'm stuck with the undead."
I can see where you were going with this line, but "well I'm stuck with the undead" was a bit confusing to read. I suggest maybe changing it to "while I'm stuck with the undead" or adding a comma after well!
Other than that, fantastic job! I'd love to see more of your poetry
Thanks!
Hi there!
. This poem is very pretty because it is so simple. I love it!
I am going to jump right into this review! So, first off, this is a good poem, and very relatable. I am sorry you go through this, I hope it gets easier for you over time. I used to be scared off the dark to.
Now, for a little tip:
"And lifts might disguises."
I don't know if this is a typo, but I would say "mighty" instead of "might." It would make more sense that way and it isn't so awkward either.
Hope this helped some!
It was meant to be night disguises. I didn't notice that typo. Thanks for the reveiw!