Young Writers Society

Hey there!
I really like this, and I'm usually not very interested in poetry.
I just want to say grades are not everything. School is hard. Not always because of the difficult materials, but because of people's expectations.
We don't get to choose. They make us to things we don't want to do. And that's really rough.
I had so many breakdowns because of that. You could have fill a pool with the tears I cried over the imprisonised feeling I had had.
So obviously, you're not alone in this. Something in the education system is broken, almost everywhere.
What I do when I have lots of homework and I'm very frustrated about school, is seeing my goal. My target, my mission of life, my destination, my purpose! I look it straight in the eyes and promise myself I'm on my way for achiving it. That way, the homework counts as a part of my way for my aim, which suddenly makes them have meaning!

Even if you don't know what's your dream, think about being happy, or even think of how you're going to feel once you're done with it. Amazing!

You're very talented and I hope I helped a little. I also hope that writing yout sadness down helps you get up.
Omer.

I like how the poem is simple and it almost sounds happy or playful "I chose to play and laugh" but it takes a darker turn as you go on.

My only gripe is that the rhythm doesn't seem to match up. For each stanza, the last lines all match in rhythm, but for some of the stanzas, the first line is longer and others is shorter. I feel like some consistency in the length of the lines would help with rhythm. Sometimes my brain can't figure out how its supposed to be read.

For starters, the rhythm on the first two stanzas matches really well in my opinion:

I'm lost at sea
Of Essays, and Math.

It's my fault, really.
I chose to play and laugh.

And now that ship has flown away,
It has left me all alone.

Tired and astray,
Nothing but a broken bone.

Now the ship has flown away.
It left me all alone.

And the higher the Mountain Grows,
The further down I fall.

I don't have the endurance,
it shows.
No one can hear my call.

Wow, this is... really sad. I'm sorry to hear, it is a very difficult time.

Hiya Horisun!

I like this poem. It's a good metaphor for feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities and, more often than not, busywork. But there are a few issues, namely the meter and flow of the poem. The way the poem is formatted makes it flow extremely awkwardly, especially because you have words that are meant to rhyme in entirely different stanzas. Furthermore, your poem doesn't seem to be implementing any sort of meter. Meter, while not necessary for all poetry, is typically vital when dealing with a rhyme scheme. I didn't even notice the rhymes the first time I read through it because the flow is so, in laymen's terms, 'out of wack.' Here are a few lesser issues I noticed:

I'm lost at sea
Of Essays, and Math.

And now that ship has flown away,
It has left me all alone.

And the higher the Mountain Grows,
The farther I fall.