Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
When I'm angry, the day will suck.
Sometimes it will be just my luck.
But one thing I will never say is
*Bleep*
Nope, despite all the choice words to pick,
No matter how much I feel sick,
I won't ever, ever say
*Bleep*
The fear and sadness will pass,
This burning fury won't last,
And that is why I won't call you an
*Bleep*
But when I could tell a joke,
I won't regret what I had spoke.
I only cuss for misdirection, so
Fuck!
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,804 Reviews
Ok, this is wonderful. You hit the mark when it comes to comedy, at least for me. I adore the misdirect. I also love how you've successfully implied the cuss words, allowing the reader to fill it in-until the punch at the end, of course. I like the short sentences, it adds to the power of the text. Also, lovely formatting, good job. One of my favourites, for sure.
Hey there, hope you are having a nice evening (or day) !
Frankly, this poem has a nice structure to it, and the rhymes flow quite well
There's just one thing I wanted to point out, not sure if that was intentional, but right before the last line, in each stanza, you say something like
"But one thing I will never say is"
And then you censor the next word.
So since the rhyming scheme is almost always AABB, it would be obvious that the censored word rhymes with the line right before, except there's no cuss word (that I know of) that rhymes with IS or SAY or AN. Just thought that would be a nice touch, make the reader almost 100% know what the upcoming cuss word will be based on how it rhymes, and then you censor out thoughts.
But really, there's not much I can say about this poem, it's simple, it gets to the point, while doing so with a nice flow and structure.
Thank you for the review! I was going more for an AABA rhyming scheme, where IS, SAY and AN don%u2019t match up with anything. But now that you point that out, I can see how that may be confusing!
Well... The rhyme is pretty good actually. The composition and connection between verse is really good, but well yeah rated for language. The fit title that came to my mind is "Redemption" hehe sorry if there are mismatch but it fit really well to me. Anyway, overall is acceptable.