Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic

E - Everyone

Imposter

by Horisun


I built myself upon
A foundation of lies.

It towers above
The clouds and skies.

I can't keep up this facade
Of being worth any praise.

No matter what I do,
This fear and doubt stays.

I'm sorry I disappointed you.
I didn't work hard enough.

I'm sorry that you believed
My luck filled bluff.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 7

Donate
Wed Jan 13, 2021 6:51 pm
YOUKNOWWHO wrote a review...



As said before this poem has a really good rhyme scheme and the message that you are trying to implement is not one I have seen all over this site.

A lot of other poems have either meanings so close or have words that sound like someone is trying to write a dead beat edger-Poe.

if you want to get the maximum response from this then you need to add a little more to the poe.I feel it is one you would see on Facebook if you were add a little more pizazz you could get what is known as great work! not to say that this isnt already a good work.




User avatar
95 Reviews


Points: 5556
Reviews: 95

Donate
Tue Jan 12, 2021 3:07 pm
View Likes
LUNARGIRL wrote a review...



Wow, great job!

I really liked how it rhymed the the meaning it had. The feeling of being someone you are not, a fake. You described this feeling beautifully of how you feel like you don't deserve anything when you are lying and a fraude. One thing I have to say is that I wish you took it further. I feel like you could really go more into depth about this emotion of feeling like an imposter.

For some reason I feel that the last line doesn't really work out for the poem.
"My luck filled bluff." This is just my oppion though, and besides that this was a great poem!

I loved every aspect about this poem and how you conveyed the feeling of being an imposter. You used great metaphors and descriptions. Can't wait to read what you write next!
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL




User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 55
Reviews: 18

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 9:52 pm
mordax says...



Wow! I love this poem and the meaning it conveys. I understand the feeling of pretending to be someone you are not, and you portrayed that with beautiful imagery. I don't have many critiques for this, only I wished there was more. In all honesty, this isn't even a critique, just showing how much I loved this poem, because it was so beautifully written, I wished it didn't end.

Wonderful job!!

mordax




User avatar
73 Reviews


Points: 1335
Reviews: 73

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 8:37 pm
View Likes
ChieRynn says...



kinda sus ngl




User avatar
63 Reviews


Points: 685
Reviews: 63

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 7:53 pm
View Likes
NastyMajesty says...



Can I just say that I clicked on this poem because I thought it was Among Us based? I think I have a problem--
Turned out even better than I thought it would, though CX great job, really enjoyed reading it c:




Horisun says...


Pffttt XD



NastyMajesty says...


LOL



User avatar
52 Reviews


Points: 1565
Reviews: 52

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 4:23 pm
View Likes
fleuralplants wrote a review...



Hey! This is just going to be a short, messy review, but here it is!
I love that this rhymes. Rhyming always ties everything together.
I love the idea behind this, and the imagery that you used to get your message across.

This poem is simple, but it packs a lot of meaning, very neatly, into the 12 lines that we see.
The fact that each stanza has only 2 lines makes the poem just look... overall, nice!

Anyway, thanks for sharing!
I really enjoyed reading this poem!




User avatar


Points: 50
Reviews: 1

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 2:11 pm
View Likes
mamoon wrote a review...



It was a short poem but It had a great meaning. Feeling like an imposter, getting tired of "keeping the facade" is something I can relate to.
we all feel the burden of proving ourselves to others but at the end you realise it doesn't matter at all.

I really enjoyed your poem. I hope I can see more :)




Horisun says...


Thank you!



User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 833
Reviews: 18

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 1:31 pm
View Likes
ChesTacos says...



Very powerful poem written in so few words, which makes it all the more powerful. I really like your metaphor of a tower, it was interesting. I wish that you had made it a little bit longer because it felt too short, but I guess that's your style. Overall great work!!!




Horisun says...


Thanks! :D



User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 13
Reviews: 38

Donate
Mon Jan 11, 2021 9:13 am
yumi wrote a review...



A powerfully brief poem, painting a picture:
1. Lies of the past do not define your whole character-you have writ out the true, deeper foundation of the tower of your moral conscience in your clear guilt, and it's never to late knock over the paper blocks and build yourself anew-to even make the admission of guilt is praise worthy, that is a courageous first step towards being a man you admire!
2. Any one who won't accept true you never loved you in the first place, and if they choose not to accept you can't make them, but you'll feel a great burdened on your soul eased, plus the ability to go free and find people who love you for who you really are.
3. Every human makes mistakes-love yourself not as YOU, but exactly as you would any other human that makes mistakes. Your mistakes don't define you either. You are defined by your recognition of your mistakes, plus your ability to learn from and not repeat them.
Start today, by God!
The metaphor of the tower of lies was interesting-shame you didn't carry it through the whole poem.
Good work, and good luck!




Horisun says...


Thank you! I'm glad you liked the tower metaphor




"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites