Why do you hate me?

This poem is exactly how my brother is, and I can relate to this, really. The flow isn’t too smooth....... also, it should be you’re instead of your, and there should be a comma after do in
Don't you care? Please say you do.
I think you could put a better line then
but doesn't everyone have quirks?
But the poem is nice and not all “cry, cry, cry”
I look forward to more of your poems
Keep writing!

This poem reminds me of my siblings, honestly. I think it's relatable, deep, while still lighthearted and nice.

The flow is prettty choppy and I feel you ask too many questions. Also, your punctuation is all over the place. The words itself could be more creative and the rhyme scheme feels a bit forced and it's hard to read.

But I love the meaning, it's a nice start, and I hope to see more work by you soon

Jade

I love this as I feel like my friend group doesn't actually like me, I missed days off school so I could avoid being with them because I believed if I didn't spend time with them, there was nothing to talk about. I also had a friend once who I knew from my first year of school until the end of primary. We used to be close but one day she just faded and after that just started bullying me. And then at the end of primary school there was another girl who was my best friend for 3 years and bullied me for a good 2 of those years. I totally feel where you're coming from because all I've ever done is try to make them happy and laugh but it only seems to do the opposite, but the minute I'm serious they call me boring or a spoilsport. I haven't told anyone except my mum that I'm writing on YWS because I fear they will try to copy me or belittle me, they've always called poetry boring and the people who write it strange so I fear they will see me that way. Your work can give people a chance to open up about the way they are treated by their friends but too afraid to say anything. Your work is inspiring! I feel like that maybe you could talk about they way the friend is positive to the narrator to encourage the conflict in the narrators mind? Just a thought

Hi. Here are a few notes:
"Prank you" is incorrect. The correct form of it is "prank to you"

"Just the smallest things" : the word "just" must be "only"

"Your" must be " you re" or "you are".

Anyway, your poem was quite interesting and catching piece of work. I really liked your descriptions. Good job.

but try revising the notes i have mentioned or maybe a few other mistakes that i may not realize.

Keep writing!

Hi! Firstly I want to say that I really enjoyed this poem and it's definitely one that will stay with me; lots of people can write about a subject that makes a reader who has experienced it get emotional, not many can make someone who's never really experienced something like this still emote and feel the pain, it really comes out of the poem and enters the reader, so well done! You're very talented at conveying emotion.
Starting with a question was very effective, the narrator seems lost and unsure which I think is the message that's trying to be conveyed.
A couple suggestions which feel free to disregard, but I think that a full stop after "smallest things" would separate your 'introduction' from the main 'body' of the poem. I also think the word choice of "pure" could be swapped for something more specific as it sort of comes out of left field at the moment.

The final line is amazing, very emotional!
Hope this helps, keep writing I'm excited to see more from you!

Hi! Firstly I want to say that I really enjoyed this poem and it's definitely one that will stay with me; lots of people can write about a subject that makes a reader who has experienced it get emotional, not many can make someone who's never really experienced something like this still emote and feel the pain, it really comes out of the poem and enters the reader, so well done! You're very talented at conveying emotion.
Starting with a question was very effective, the narrator seems lost and unsure which I think is the message that's trying to be conveyed.
A couple suggestions which feel free to disregard, but I think that a full stop after "smallest things" would separate your 'introduction' from the main 'body' of the poem. I also think the word choice of "pure" could be swapped for something more specific as it sort of comes out of left field at the moment.

The final line is amazing, very emotional!
Hope this helps, keep writing I'm excited to see more from you!

Hello Horisun!

It's me, Liberty500! I'm here for a review!

First of all, I really like your style of poem, it's very unique and very... perfect. But to make it even MORE perfect, I'd like to point out two mistakes. Only two.

Mistake #1: You wrote "I try prank you," and you may have forgotten to add the "to" between the "try" and the "prank". But I'm still telling you to add the "to"

Mistake #2: In this sentence: "Because sometimes your good, Sometimes your kind." The "your" should be turned into a "you're".

"Your" means: belonging to or associated with the person or people that the speaker is addressing. Example: "what is your name?"

"You're" is used as a short form for "You are" and that's what you meant to put in that sentence.

Over all, I really enjoyed reading your poem.

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

Good poem! It certainly is very personal and emotional, which is conveyed well in how transparent the writing is. There were only a couple grammar mistakes. You use 'your' instead of "you're" when you write "Because sometimes your good, Sometimes your kind." Other than that, it should be " I try to prank you."

One of the things I was wondering was how you decided to break up the lines? Your form is very unique. I don't think I've ever seen it before.