Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic

E - Everyone

Not Posting

by Horisun


I don't plan on posting
Every slightly messy piece
Sometimes I just write
To grant my mind some peace

Some stories were meant
To be buried beneath
Stone, earth, and dirt
Water, print, and leaf

Some drafts are doomed
To be left deep within a desk
Not all my works need to
Be proved the very best

Some drafts are made
Simply just for me
To look back in years to come
At a faded memory 

And some poems remain
Forever undone
In an empty journal
Always un


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
32 Reviews


Points: 620
Reviews: 32

Donate
Tue Jun 08, 2021 11:17 pm
TheWarriorMingan wrote a review...



Hello Horisun!

I'm here to review your poem. I found this piece very relatable, I have many drafts just for me!
Here are my thoughts:

Sometimes I just write/To grant my mind some peace

This is definitely when I write the most.
Not all my works need to/Be proved the very best

So true. Sometimes I write just for myself. As you explain in the next line:
Some drafts are made/Simply just for me/To look back in years to come/At a faded memory

There is one part that I don't get, this last part. Does 'un' mean 'one'?
In an empty journal
Always un


Overall, I love this poem. It really describes "Not Posting"!

-Sincerely, Mingan

Follow your heart and nothing can go wrong. (concerning writing)




Horisun says...


Thank you for the review! Rereading it, the last line is definitely a bit unclear. It's meant to represent how the poem is unfinished.



User avatar
63 Reviews


Points: 3689
Reviews: 63

Donate
Mon Jun 07, 2021 6:29 am
View Likes
anne27 wrote a review...



Hi Horisun!! I'm Anne and here to review your work. First of all, I really liked the contradictory idea of posting a poem titled 'Not Posting'. Moreover the structure of the poem, gives the reader a very nice first impression.

MEANING
I agree with the message that some works are just written to 'grant the mind some peace'. Also, I associate the idea of undone poems with progress. Sometimes, when we look back to our old undone poems, we don't find them good at all, but that only means that all those poems have now made us a better writer than we were.

Not all my works need to
Be proved the very best

This to me, correct me if I'm wrong, seems to be mildly criticising those people who love our work, no matter how has it is. Without any reason. (I could be totally wrong though).

LANGUAGE AND FLOW.
The language used was apt. Although what you meant by 'in' in the last line is a little unclear to me.
The structure gave the poem a lot of flow. So kudos for that. The rhymes started out perfect on the first stanza but then... Became a little weaker.
For instance- beneath-leaf, desk-best don't seem to rhye that much (in my accent of course.).
Rather I think these might have worked better.

Some stories were meant
To be buried beneath
Stone, earth, and dirt
Water, print, and leaves wreath

That way there is also more symmetry between 1st and 4th lines.

Some drafts are written
Just to be expressed
Not all my works need to
Be proved the very best


These are my suggestions but of course it is totally up to you whether you want to change that or not. Sorry if I'm sounding rude :(

Overall, I loved reading your poem, mainly because its idea and theme which resonates in the hearts of all writers, I think. And makes this poem such a relatable and pleasurable read!!
Good work!! Keep writing :D




Horisun says...


I'm glad you liked it! I really like the rhymes you suggested!
The "Un" at the end is meant to be unfinished, as the stanza says, I don't have to finish all my poems :D but you are right, perhaps I could make that more clear.
Thank you for the review!



anne27 says...


No problem !! :D
Oh I get it !!



User avatar
125 Reviews


Points: 3435
Reviews: 125

Donate
Mon Jun 07, 2021 4:26 am
View Likes
PixieStix wrote a review...



Hello, Horisun! Pix here to review this for you! :)

Firstly, I just wanted to point out how creative this idea is. I never thought about actually writing about my writing process, or the work that I've trashed, etc. I'll be honest, after reading this poem I definitely stalked the sidebar for a little and read a couple of your other works, and I must say I'm quite impressed! You're a wonderful poet/writer. Now that we've gotten my obsession with poetry out of the way, lets focus on this particular piece.

I don't plan on posting
Every slightly messy piece
Sometimes I just write
To grant my mind some peace


In the first stanza you demonstrated a perfect example of: consistent flow--plus awknowledging a rhyming scheme. I always struggle with finding the right rhyming scheme for my poetry, so I enjoyed this one! I like the use of "piece" and "peace".

Some stories were meant
To be buried beneath
Stone, earth, and dirt
Water, print, and leaf.


The flow is present here as well, although I'm not sure if you meant to do this, but at the end of every stanza there's no periods-- except for this one. I feel like this period could be removed :)

Some drafts are doomed
To be left deep within a desk
Not all my works need to
Be proved the very best


This might actually be my favorite stanza in this poem because it's absolutely true. This perfectly describes how important it is to get comfortable with your writing, and works. I'ts not always top-priority to make everything you write the best-- but to learn and grow from it. I love this.

Some drafts are made
Simply just for me
To look back in years to come
At a faded memory


This is one of the best rhyming stanzas in this whole poem, and I think the flow is absolutely perfect. As I was reading this in my head, It sounded error-free and easy to understand.

And some poems remain
Forever undone
In an empty journal
Always un


This stanza is so unique that it took me a minute to realize the "un" was purposeful. Very creative and a great way to close out the piece!

I don't have many recommendations to make this a better piece, seeing as I love it as it is, so keep up the great work and happy writing!

-Pix




Horisun says...


Thank you so much! The period was definitely unintentional, so I'm glad you pointed that out!




Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
— Welcome to Night Vale