Time is definitely a beautiful subject to write about. You could say this poem is not about "time" as the broad subject that is, but more "what time does". The effects of time along the lines of memories, aging, forgetting, and so forth. Something about time in general could be contemplating the very existence of time, but this piece gets further and further into personal experiences fighting with time (wanting more of it, going back in the past, etc). The third to last stanza was very powerful and suspenseful even with the spelling error in the third line of too* instead of to . This poem has an interesting subject of lost love. For the very last stanza, you could have gone further into this rather than repeating the erasing and creating aspects of time. Maybe something along the lines of how this effected your "timelines" so to speak and that yours and the other peron's are now askew and separated. Keep up the nice work!

Hello!!
I just wanted to do a quick review of this poem today
First off, you have so much potential here. The story you tell in this piece is very relatable, but you've also included some much deeper ideas. That being said, I think there are a few persnickety things you could improve on.

The ideas you've introduced have enormous meaning, and, as it stands, you aren't doing them justice with some of your wordings.

"There are points in this period,
where one wishes to pauses times,
to rewind the times, to better times,
but time is not one to be controlled"

This section is a good example. Some of your word choices sound a little bit off to me. I understand perfectly what you're trying to express, but the way you phrase it could be improved. First, the repetition of "one" makes this stanza really impersonal which detracts from the emotion of the poem as a whole. In addition, the list of what one wishes is oddly worded. You go between just "times" and "the times" which doesn't sound as good as it could. Some of these would also be better as just "time", I think. I want to say that I really like the flow of the last to lines though; there is a wonderful connection here that I don't think should be changed.

Altogether this poem could be improved, but the base is extraordinary.

As always, you are the author and have the final decision in everything, so ignore me if you want.

Good work and keep writing!

Hey Greentulip, Strange here and I have a review for you! I did enjoy this poem, only due to the emotion you show in this and how you show heart. The theme, is somewhat iffy. It is really a retread of a lot of poems, but what matters is what you show in that. It shows how a relationship, which was once very healthy, was suddenly smashed. It shows your feeling how it all went to crap. As you know, I hate romance but you did good with this poem. When it comes to romance, I most of the time hate the story. I look for the emotion being shown and you sure did show a lot of emotion, show heartbreak, and your inner self. I loved that. Great job Tulip, I should really read more of your poems.
Overall, great job
Strange gives you...
9.1/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay Groovy, my amigo


-Paul Mokeski's approval-

Wow. This is good. Really good. Truth be told I'm not great at poetry, so I can't give much specific advice if it helps. First off, you need to work out your grammar here and there. Secondly, I don't know how to explain it, but what you say, although it has a great level of depth to it, you don't say it like it does. Use a bit more of an expanded vocabulary, maybe pick up a thesaurus and try that, but if you can put a bit more meaning into the words you use (how you use them is excellent) you will be absolutely golden. I hope to see you on the front page sometime soon. Keep up the good work, and fare thee well!

~Scoeri