Oh no, just hours till Christmas!
Gifts still need to be wrapped.
Lights delicately put up,
Illuminating perfectly decorated trees.
Ornaments hanging with shine.
Cookies are placed in the oven,
Vanilla scent spreading.
A glass waits for the milk.
Stocking are stuffed,
Hanging carefully,
As to not spill and
Spoil the surprise.
.
Presents are placed under the tree,
Wrapping paper mirroring the lights.
.
Christmas Eve comes at long last.
Santa comes down the chimmey,
With a might ho-ho-ho.
.
Placing his gifts for well behaved children,
Underneath the tree among the other presents.
.
He takes the cookies so beautifully decorated.
Smiling, he retreats to his sleigh,
With a "Merry Christmas to all."
.
Christmas Day comes
And excited squeals are heard.
Smiles all around,
For the perfect family holiday.
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,421 Reviews
~Ello, caliginous here~
Just wanted to say—so relatable. That's me every year. (I still haven't gone Christmas shopping this year either....)
Well ANYWAY...on with the review!
As angel said, I couldn't find any particular rhythm throughout the poem. Some lines flowed well together, but most don't seem connected at all—they don't flow as nicely as they should. Rhyming might help, but this could change the lines almost completely, which I do not advise. Replacing words or getting rid of extras would certainly help, though.
The imagery could be stronger. Make sure you're really setting the scene, because that seems to be the point of the poem—you're explaining preparations for Christmas and describing the scenes as well as what's going on. However, in some parts, I do not feel like I am there, which I should. In a poem such as this one, I would expect the goal to be having the reader feel as if they're meant to be part of the poem. You're almost there, but some tweaking could be used. May I recommend thesaurus.com? You probably do not need it, as I trust you would be able to come up with stronger words yourself...but hey, it can't hurt. I find myself going there often, just to see if I can improve at least a little bit. An example of a spot that could use some stronger words is stanza two. It has excellent potential—it just needs a little boost to get there. I personally feel this could be the strongest stanza in the poem with a few changes.
Spelling is a slight issue, but this can be very easily fixed. With just a quick read-through, you will most likely be able to spot and eliminate all these errors.
The last stanza of the poem is excellent! I love that you were able to so clearly explain the emotions of Christmas in so few lines and words! This is a stanza that certainly needs no editing.
I hope I was able to help! (By the way, I love your profile picture
~caliginous
Hi GreenTulip!
Amazing poem! I'll excuse your formatting since you were struggling, but it was great. I didn't spot many grammar errors or typos. You painted the picture beautifully for the reader. This is more of an opinion, but for the sake of the review I'll say it. Poems have a beat or a rhythm to them. I didn't quite catch the rhythm in yours. Also, typically the poems I read, there is rhyming to the. But again, that is a personal opinion.