Brothers and Sister

Hello there! Selina here

This poem attracted me by the tittle since I have nine sisters and two brothers. I was even more attracted to it when I started reading it, it is an AMAZING poem that I can relate to. Except I am the second youngest hehehe.

The bond between a sister and her brothers is a strong one. I myself know that since I have two big brothers whom I love more than anything. They can be annoying and you fight with them a lot but they can also be caring and teach you many things. I loved this poem and hope to review many more poems from you!

Sincerely,

CelticThunder1438 a.k.a. Selina

P.S. Who is in your avatar?

Hey just here for a quick drop by and review

i like this poem and can relate to it since i have 1 older sibling and that's it. I feel that way a lot as well because I've caused her grief and annoyed her at times. how we haven't always been each others presence when we needed it most but we are still family, together and proud, cant be torn apart. i like the last two lines because it symbolizes what a family is suppose to be like. Also with the switch in three age differences as the three stanzas.

but don't be afraid to thrown in some detail, some personal feelings and situations from your own experience. It will give more of a basis of how you guys get along and the love between the three of you together. Its how well you can get along with them as well as the times when you might not get along but how you DO still love each other. that's how i see it.

But i like the fact that you were able to write a poem about some of the relationship you have with your brothers, how much you care for each other even if you don't have the perfect brothers to sister relation

Hello! Magpie here to review!

Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.

I see that this is about family, and how it should stand together.

Honestly, it could use a bit of work. It's filled with simple statements that aren't really interesting. They are what a model set of siblings should do, and really, lots of people know all of this already. There is no sense of personality behind the three siblings. There is no sense of situation. If you put a specific situation or example in, you don't even need the last two lines (they're super tell-y. Think Aesop's fables tell-y). The emotions of the reader will resonate more strongly with the poem if someone's personal feelings about it are put in to the poem. Don't be afraid to fill in the details.

Bring the reader into a specific situation in which the virtues the siblings are mentioning are used, rather than telling us that the siblings feel this way. It's a simple case of show, not tell. That concept is particularly important in poetry.

I suggest you divide the sections more clearly. Two different characters speaking in italics, while it was clear in this piece, can become difficult to understand which character is talking. If you rewrite it with more situation and imagery, it might become more difficult to understand. In cases like this, using small roman numerals above each section are beneficial. See below a poor example, but an example nonetheless:

i.
Fox. I am red,
a leaf in autumn.

ii.
Green is my shell,
tortoise my moniker.

Numbering separates the sections well.

I would right align this. Centering this poem only makes it slightly harder to read, and really doesn't do much for the poem.

Altogether, add more imagery and personal feeling (show, don't tell), and format this a little differently. Have a nice day! Happy writing!

This is my first review, so it might not be perfect, but here it is:

I really like this poem. I can relate being a sibling myself. I was a little bit confused by your switch of POV from "I am the eldest" to "I am the youngest", and the middle stanza which I think was meant to be the middle child. I suppose the change in italics was meant to symbolize change in POV? I like the bold to emphasis the last two ligns, which are particularly sweet. Anyways, it's very sentimental and a nice piece of poetry, and I would love to read more like it : )