Sinister Hearts:
Rain spatters against my heart
like the blood that drips from my hand.
Feelings of shame do not flood through me,
just thoughts that I had finally
plotted my revenge, flood through
my dark, evil sinister mind.
~
Plots have ran through my mind
ever since you did the wrong doing,
that has led to your demise.
Plots to make sure that you do
not repeat the same wrong doing.
~
Rain spatters against my heart
like the blood that drips from my hand.
Feelings of shame do not flood through me,
just thoughts that I had finally
plotted my revenge, flood through
my dark, evil sinister mind.
~
I am forever avoided now,
but I am pleased that I will not
have to go through the
same wrongdoing again.
Do not expect me to just
turn and forget about it,
cuz Baby, I will not forget.
~
Feelings of shame do not flood through me,
just thoughts that I had finally
plotted my revenge, flood through
my dark, evil sinister mind.
~
Baby, you broke my heart,
now it time for you to feel
the pain you put me through.
Baby, do not judge me as a
non-fighter.
You hurt me and you will pay.
~
Rain spatters against my heart
like the blood that drips from my hand.
~
My dear, you do not understand,
nothing was in my control.
I was forced into my wrong doing.
I never wished to hurt you
But I now talk beyond
the grave, as my wrong doing
became my demise.
I am sorry..
~
I have no regrets,
I have no tinges of shame,
just tinges of gladness,
and of madness.
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140,691 Literary Works • 673,622 Reviews
Hello GreenTulip,
Wait, I thought you were a red rose, not a green tulip. Huh? Anyway, this is Magenta here to review your poem, Sinister Hearts. I love that title by the way... This was beautifully written and well-thought out. This is a dark poem which captures the message perfectly. I think that the repetition of "rain spatters against my heart" adds to the poem in a good way. You do it enough to give meaning, but you didn't overdo it, and that is a good thing!
"Feelings of shame do not flood through me,
just thoughts that I had finally
plotted my revenge, flood through
my dark, evil sinister mind." I feel like this sentence is a bit long. I would shorten it because I first thought that you hadn't ended the sentence and that it was just two thoughts lapsing into one another. I think you can shorten this which will be better.
"I have no regrets,
I have no tinges of shame,
just tinges of gladness,
and of madness."
"Did you mean twinges? I don't think that tinged is the right word.
Other than those few things, I think you have a poem with potential.
- Magenta
Oh my God I love this so much! This is beautifully written and well executed. As I was reading, it reminded me of a few of the characters I have created for this and that. I loved reading this! I just can't get over how much I loved this! I loved the darkness of it. I loved the execution of it (although I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed with the use of Baby and cuz, I would've preferred a synonym for baby and cuz to be spelled either because or cause)! I hope you continue to keep writing poetry.
I have a lot more poetry, that I can share but I need to get back into my reviewing mode before I post anymore poetry. I have enough points to post one more, before I have to start to review again. So once I get more points I will share it on the site.
Wow I loved this! It's dark and kind of twisted which is great an I adore that first paragraph but I do agree with TGS, it is a little ling to repeat it so much.
Amazing ending: endings are important. 
''just thoughts that I had finally''
I think this shoul be 'have' instead of 'had'
''plotted my revenge, flood through''
I feel that the rhythm is disrupted here a little especially since you've already you the word flood but it's just a thought.
''my dark, evil sinister mind.''
I love this line!!! I think it's my favourite
''Plots to make sure that you do
not repeat the same wrong doing.''
Using 'do' and 'not' on two different lines make it a bit jaunty so maybe say
'Plots to make sure that you don't
repeat that same wrong doing.'
It's just a thought but might help. I like how you talk of the wrong doing leading to their demise but your revenge has lead to your own demise-I also like use of the word demise
Please keep writing
Hey there Green Tulip!
This the best poem I have seen in a while! I wouldn't be surprised seeing it the spotlight! I just love how it gives me the chills and the dramaticness of it!! I especially love the ending when the other person comes in! I like the repeating of the chorus, made the poem emphasize it's point. Just amazing!
I could only find two minor things that I think could be improved!!
It would make it better if you added another comma between evil and sinister!
I find it odd that the whole poem has a quite literate and dramatic feeling yet you add in "cuz". It kind of breaks the effect. I think "'cause" or even "because" would be better.
Besides that! Amazing poem! Loved it!
*drops like*
sup this is Thunder Gem Studios (ma YouTube channel).
I absolutely loved this it gave me chills. I like the way you repeated the same paragraph over and over again but it did seem to be slightly over used. I think it tells a story very well of some one who loved and lost but will not forgive, regret and let go. A lot of people say a poem has to rime but that's not true obviously. so ye in general I really liked it it was well thought through and good I hope that this review helps It probably wont but ye It was great bye.