Young Writers Society

Hello, hello, hello! I may not be the first to review this piece of work, yet I still shall try to give you a fantastic review!
I really enjoyed reading this piece, I don't see any errors to it. I shall still try to help you improve it although. As a poet myself I understand if you like your work the way it is and you think it doesn't need to be changed, that is perfectly fine. I just have two suggestions for you.

My first suggestion is that you change a word.

A familiar face-
now lays forgotten in the depths
of an unending pool of memories.

Names goes with the faces-
in the pit of forgotten things.
Now this familiar face is lost to me,
and has just become another face in the crowd.

There used to be the one face,
that could stand out in even-
in the darkest, fullest crowds.

Hello GreenTulip! As you seem to beat me at everything I go to review, I suppose I'll review a few of your poems so that way, I'll feel as though I have accomplished something! So, when I review poems, I like to go through a list of pros and cons, then my favorite part, followed by the overall explanation. So, without further ado, here we go!

Cons:
1. In the first stanza, your third line seems a bit....like it could be explained further. After reading it several times, I understand the meaning, but perhaps stating it in a different way would make it more simple.
2. I would've liked to know a bit more about what is happening in this poem. It just seems a bit random, even though I know that there is a purpose. And I understand the unknown purpose a bit. If that makes any sense, congratulations, you speak my language.

Pros:
1. This was very well-written. I loved how you had the idea of faces blending together. That gives me a huge sense of imagery.
2. I can tell that there seems to be a deeper meaning to this poem. That's nice. Now to figure out what's happening.....

My Favorite Part is........*drumroll*

A familiar face-
now lays forgotten in the depths
of an unending pool of memories.

Overall, this poem was exceptionally well. I really liked it and look forward to reading more of your stuff! See ya around the site and in the reviews! Keep writing as as always, keep smiling!
-Sis

Hi there!

Overall I think this was a neat little poem, that made me think a lot. My interpretation of it was that you were talking about a former lover who had just become lost in the crowd... Anyway, I thought it had a good meaning and flow and the imagery was beautiful.

A crowd holds many faces,
ones who stand out,
more and more seem to blend together.

Okay, so I liked your start with the first two lines. I thought the third line would be something like 'And the ones that are just another face' it feels like you left a line out. Here's a suggestion for the verse;

A crowd holds many people,
Ones who stand out,
And those who are just blank faces.

That's just an idea.

There used to be the one face,
that could stand out in even-
in the darkest, fullest crowds.

I really liked this stanza and the imagery and idea behind it. I got to picture a person who was once an individual but succumbed to be another boring face in the crowd. Great work.

A familiar face-
now lays forgotten in the depths
of an unending pool of memories.

I also liked this stanza, the imagery in the last two lines is beautiful. Great Work.

Names goes with the faces-
in the pit of forgotten things.
Now this familiar face is lost to me,
and has just become another face in the crowd.

'In the pit of forgotten things.' That line is probably my favorite out of the whole poem. Really nice imagery and it made me think. Nice conclusion to the meaning of the poem.

Overall, great work with good ideas flow and imagery.

Keep up the good work;

LGF

Hello GreenTulip!

This is Magenta here to review your poem, Just Another Face. I thought that this was a great poem that you submitted. I have some things to point out to however.

"A crowd holds many faces,
ones who stand out,
more and more seem to blend together."

This seems like a fragment of a sentence and I would consider changing that so that it sounds better. You say, "more and more seem to blend together." You didn't finish of the thought before that and so it cuts off the flow as it cuts of the sentence/thought beforehand.

"There used to be the one face,
that could stand out in even-
in the darkest, fullest crowds. "

This "in even" part sounds a little funky, if you know what I mean. I think what you meant say was...

"There used to be the one face,
that could stand out in even,
the darkest, fullest crowds.

Still, I would suggest changing the "in even" part because it doesn't have the fluency that the rest of the poem possesses.

I would like to see some more description in some places too. Some lines are very descriptive but other lines seem unnecessary or add to poem in a negative way.
Like this line, "more and more seem to blend together. "It just seems to be bland compared to the rest of poetry. Spice it up a bit with another way to "more and more" because I think that part seems to be the problem.

Other than that, great poetry and keep on writing!

~ Magenta

Hi GreenTulip! Tsholdin here for a review!

I think this is an overall great poem.


Just a few minor things:

There used to be the one face,
that could stand out in even-
in the darkest, fullest crowds.

Names goes with the faces-

Timmyjake here to leave you a review!!

So this was really neat. It was written very well, and I love your imagery! I have a few teeny nitpicks here, so I will just briefly go over those real quick!

So here we go!

ones who stand out,
more and more seem to blend together.

A familiar face-
now lays forgotten in the depths ---I think A could be replaced with That