Your voice, so soft, so sweet
Like angels singing.....
I can imagine a halo above your head,
the wings that span from your back.
Like angels singing.....
your songs are sweet and pure,
to love and to cherish above all human needs.
To me you are an angel,
not fallen, but brought to Earth,
to share Heaven’s sweet love.
To me you are an angel,
too sweet and kind to be from Earth.
To heavenly to be a human creature.
You were my guardian angel,
always watching over me,
to protect my soul and life.
But now you are no longer here to protect,
I am now your guardian angel.
I can imagine a halo above your head,
the wings that span from your back.
To me you are still an angel,
even though you are no longer here.
I hope that in the lands of love and light,
you are a real angel, my dear love.
Now as I lay these petals upon your stone,
I hope that even though I remain here,
that you are still watching over me.
So this poem is told from the perspective of an old man who is visiting his wife's grave. His wife was/is his soul mate. She has been gone for 10 years, but he remains alive knowing that one day he will once again see her. This is a poem that he dedicates to her memory.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,792 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
Hi there
Wow, this was really sweet. I know you meant this as poetry, but it almost sounded like a song to me. It flows really well.
I know that you meant for this to be about an old man grieving his wife, but it could apply to anyone who lost their true love. When I was reading it I actually pictured a younger couple.
Set this to music and you have a great song that would probably make me cry
Keep writing!
~WallFlower
Hey there! Purple is here to review for you! Let's get down to business
This is a cute poem and without the little description at the bottom you can still tell it was about two lovers at least. I just have a few issues with this. Because, however, without the description it's unclear in what exact scenario this is talking about. You could cut out a lot of the repition and maybe mention specific memories this old man had with his wife like describe a time they had with family or when he realized he loved her. Little touches like that can really make a piece. Also, with the "like angels singing....." you dont need to trail off like that because cutting it off and making that one line is enough. There was a lot of angel wording and too good to be from earth, and as sweet as that sounds it gets tiring after reading it over and over. I hope you take some of this advise and grow as a writer. Keep up the good work! I can tell you have a lot of potential for the future.
~Purple